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Post by flee on Mar 21, 2013 18:37:47 GMT
Those flamin' annoying calls again .
There was a thread on here a while back about how annoying cold callers are , but also how much fun it is to wind them up .Can't find that thread but I had a call a couple of nights ago and ,I have to admit , it was a gem - even by my standards .You know what I mean ? You just get on a roll and it takes on a life of it's own ?
It was obviously one of those 'injury at work calls ' and it went like this .
'Hello , could I speak to Mrs Flee please .'
'Speaking'
'Oh hello Mrs Flee . I understand that you have previously worked in industry .'
I haven't but he's obviously fishing and ...well , there's nothing on telly except Ice Road Truckers .
'I'm sorry ' I say 'I can't hear you .I'm stone deaf , you'll have to speak up '.He's interested now .
'Did you work in industry ?' he repeats.'Speak up ' I say ' I can't hear you .'
I keep this going until I've got him SHOUTING . ONE . WORD . AT . A . TIME .
'DO .YOU .THINK . YOUR . JOB .MAY . HAVE . CONTRIBUTED . TO .YOUR.HEARING.LOSS ?' he yells .
'YES .' I yell back ' IT WAS WORKING IN THAT BL**DY FACTORY THAT DID IT'.
I hear an audible gasp of excitement .
'WHAT . WAS . YOUR . JOB ?'
Now this was where it suddenly turned from 'Jolly Good Wind Up ' to 'Even I Surprise Myself Sometimes '.For some inexplicable reason I reply
' WELDER'.
'REALLY ?WHERE . ABOUTS ?'
'IN AN IRON FOUNDRY '
'OKAY .DO . YOU . STILL .WORK . THERE ?'
'NO .I LEFT TO PURSUE MY DREAM OF BECOMING A DANCER .'
A pause .'SO . YOU . CAN . HEAR . THE . MUSIC ?'
'I FEEL THE VIBRATIONS THROUGH MY FEET '.
By this time even Mr F has abandoned Ice Road Truckers ( and that's saying something - he has the major hots for Lisa )and has joined me in the hall with a can of Stella and some corn chips.
'ARE .YOU . STILL .A .DANCER ?'
'NO . I HAD TO GIVE IT UP .I HURT MY BACK '.
Another gasp of excitement .
'WORKING .AS . A . DANCER ?'
'YEAH . I USED TO DANCE UNDER A SHOWER AS PART OF THE ACT BUT IT MADE THE FLOOR VERY SLIPPERY . AND MY LEG WARMERS USED TO GET WATERLOGGED .IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I INJURED MYSELF .'
There's a long pause , and then he says 'Flash Dance ?'
'WHAT ?' I roar back . 'FAT CHANCE ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN FAT CHANCE ?
Click .
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Post by rightrein92 on Mar 21, 2013 18:49:56 GMT
Had me in stitches flee !!!
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Post by gillwales on Mar 21, 2013 19:16:33 GMT
Flee you must have a picture of yourself, in leg warmers, underneath a shower... I have just read this out to my beloved and he would like a copy to put up by the phone... for inspiration of course ... Personally I think you were lucky to get someone you could understand, the ones that phone me in wales have a very exotic accent... mind you they have grasped basic English and definitely understand... "P*** off!", oh forgot to add that is a bi-lingual phrase, equally effective in welsh  |
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Post by cazcox on Mar 21, 2013 19:22:15 GMT
When I get them I say hold on Mrs C is on the toilet.
Can you hang on?
Yes he says
after a little while I say are you still there?
Yes he says
Mrs C has diarrhea, my be another few minutes ok?
Are you still there?
No answer.
Works every time!
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Post by nia2311 on Mar 21, 2013 19:45:56 GMT
My Dad is a tour guide, and he starts selling them Beatles coach tours and visits to Port Sunlight. They are just as fast to hang up as they are to dial............ Loving your style Flee!
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Post by gillwales on Mar 21, 2013 20:45:22 GMT
well ladies you are inspiring me here, the only trouble is I get a lot of callers asking for my Mum who died 12 years ago, I even had one caller accuse me of stealing her house!
Will have to think up of a welsh theme......
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Post by fanfarefan on Mar 21, 2013 20:50:31 GMT
the OH answered the phone the other night , and was fairly p' off at the number of cold calling calls we were getting , there was a lady of an indian persuasion on the other end , and asked fro mr c----r , to which he replied ' oh im glad youve rung back , where are my poppadums ' , needless to say the line went dead
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Post by nia2311 on Mar 21, 2013 20:56:28 GMT
Gill - a feel a sheep-based theme coming on...........
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Post by gillwales on Mar 21, 2013 20:58:42 GMT
oooh brain wave!! sheep shearing! Im going to have to be careful how I say that!! cheers Nia x |
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Post by nia2311 on Mar 21, 2013 21:03:06 GMT
;D
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Post by titch on Mar 21, 2013 21:33:21 GMT
Made me laugh a lot!!!!!!!!!
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Post by tabbyx on Mar 21, 2013 22:43:54 GMT
Had me in fits Flee!
I ask them really personal questions, usually gets rid of them in no time and their reactions are always highly entertaining.
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Post by brt on Mar 21, 2013 22:55:56 GMT
i am rather mean when it comes to cold callers,
I had one a few nights ago from a land far away, he gibbered on in a very strong ethnic voice, so i gibbered back at him.
He said "Sorry i can't understand you"
To which i replied "now you know how I bloody feel" And slammed the phone down.
Suprisingly he didn't call back !!
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Post by mara on Mar 21, 2013 23:02:08 GMT
PMSL - I think I'm going to have to print this & put it by the phone. ;D
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Post by sparklepony on Mar 21, 2013 23:05:53 GMT
This thread is genius!!! Ooh hours of fun tomorrow!!!!
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janet
Full Member
Posts: 502
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Post by janet on Mar 22, 2013 8:43:00 GMT
My OH always does it to window sales people and says " we don't have windows"
caller " what you don't have windows"
OH " no we live underground"
caller then pauses,
OH says next " I am a mole and I live in a hole"
Then starts laughing , caller always puts phone down
does the same for electric tells them we do not have any, and then goes into long explanation of why we don't, if he can keep a straight face
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Post by sometime on Mar 22, 2013 18:07:17 GMT
Not much use here I am afraid I seem to be increasing answering the phone to computers drives me potty
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Post by serendipity on Mar 22, 2013 19:06:27 GMT
Iknow it can be annoying but I always think they are only trying to earn a living just like the rest of us. It doesn't hurt to be polite.
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Post by mara on Mar 22, 2013 19:17:43 GMT
Iknow it can be annoying but I always think they are only trying to earn a living just like the rest of us. It doesn't hurt to be polite. Why do I think you have the misfortune to be a call centre worker? ;D yes they're trying to earn a living but they phone when they know people are about to sit down to their evening meal, they're intrusive & often downright rude in the first place. The TPS is of limited use, particularly with 'research' calls which amount to telesales by another name and the calls originating from overseas as this don't fall under the jurisdiction of OFCOM etc. When I've been out of the house by 6.30 in the morning to go to my work where I don't irritate people I've never met (just those that I work with  ;D) I don't take kindly to then getting pestered at 8pm in the evening when I am still finishing my 'working' day with at least another 2 hours to go before I get the chance to get a bath & go to bed. |
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Post by serendipity on Mar 22, 2013 19:34:55 GMT
Actually I do not work in a call centre. I am lucky enough to have a good job that I enjoy doing, but unfortunately not everyone can be so lucky. They call at these times probably because they are told to.
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Post by nia2311 on Mar 22, 2013 23:07:54 GMT
If people only got one call from the same company, and they actually listened when we say "please don't ring me anymore, remove my number" then maybe folks would be polite? I am polite at first, but after the 6th time of having the same sales company ring me, I have lost my patience. Companies should find better ways to promote their products that doesn't involve cold-calling. I can't believe any genuine business is gained from these calls, and it just encourages vulnerable people, such as the elderly, to buy things or sign up to thing that they don't need. A
Actually charities are really bad for this too - I know one elderly lady who was sending almost all her state pension to charities, because everytime one rang her, she felt compelled to sign up for £5 a month. Her family had a right faff trying to "un-sign" her, and even after she had stopped sending money to the majority, they continued to ring her, asking would she re-start her giving, and bombarded her with mail which included all sorts of heart-rending pictures that made her feel so guilty about not sending money!!
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Post by mara on Mar 22, 2013 23:11:39 GMT
I agree 100% Nia.
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Post by sometime on Mar 23, 2013 0:20:39 GMT
I agree too nia.
When he was at work I constantly got calls from a certain company I told them on an almost daily basis he was at work and if it was essential to ring after 7.30pm when he would be home they still called during the day and got quite annoyed when I started putting the phone down on them. They did finally get the message. Now he is at home every day they dont phone typical
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Post by Louise Dixon on Mar 23, 2013 11:25:44 GMT
My Dad is a tour guide, and he starts selling them Beatles coach tours and visits to Port Sunlight. They are just as fast to hang up as they are to dial............ Loving your style Flee! Excellent. My dad once tried to sell them some pedigree sheep, also had them putting the phone down quick. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2013 16:27:54 GMT
ah ah you have me inspired |
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Mar 23, 2013 21:37:46 GMT
I know it is annoying and I have to say Flee as usual you put a smile on my face.
Saying that I tend to take the view that whilst it is annoying for those receiving the calls it is the company that is calling (not the individual who is only following company policy) who is to blame and do try to be patient but firm with cold callers.
Saying that the other day I took a call from a company trying to see if I wanted to make a personal injury claim, I had just gone through explaining that no personal injury had occurred, my insurers had dealt with issue to my satisfaction and can you please take me off list of people to call when within 1 minute another lady from the same company rang me. I have to confess I did "snap" and "bit her head off" a bit but did apologise for doing so, explaining what had happened before her call and she was completely sympathetic and assured me that my details would be removed from their records - touch wood I have had no more calls from that company since then.
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Post by auntiebarb on Mar 23, 2013 22:58:38 GMT
Flee you slay me, every time.
Once we had a call about a holiday time share but the lady was so nice, we took up the offer to go to the motorcycle museum (hubby used to race motorbikes in 1960s) just to see. We told them we already have timeshare (which we use a lot) but they insisted we went to see about theirs and promised a free holiday.
Well we went, saw the bikes, heard the talk, thanked them very much and they gave us a voucher, which we thought wasn't worth the paper it was written on. We tried using it, and lo and behold, we got a free holiday in Portugal in a lovely fishing village, even the flights were paid. It was great. We have been back to Portugal a few times but that was the best holiday. Must admit this was some years ago though.
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Post by pinkis4eva on Mar 24, 2013 19:39:58 GMT
lol at this thread, i found an easy way to get rid of all the unwanted calls change your number we only had too because we moved form virgin to sky and didnt act quick enough to change the number 12 th february was the change havent had a phone call since!!!
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Post by gillwales on Mar 27, 2013 18:10:50 GMT
My OH always does it to window sales people and says " we don't have windows" caller " what you don't have windows" OH " no we live underground" caller then pauses, OH says next " I am a mole and I live in a hole" Then starts laughing , caller always puts phone down does the same for electric tells them we do not have any, and then goes into long explanation of why we don't, if he can keep a straight face See with window sales people I use the opposite tactic... Thank you I already have some windows... I'm looking out of one now, yes I have a door also, that's how I access my house.... how do these people who need a door get into their house at the moment? Are they related to Santa??? At this point they usually realise that I'm taking the michael! |
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Post by mara on Mar 27, 2013 23:11:18 GMT
My OH always does it to window sales people and says " we don't have windows" caller " what you don't have windows" OH " no we live underground" caller then pauses, OH says next " I am a mole and I live in a hole" Then starts laughing , caller always puts phone down does the same for electric tells them we do not have any, and then goes into long explanation of why we don't, if he can keep a straight face See with window sales people I use the opposite tactic... Thank you I already have some windows... I'm looking out of one now, yes I have a door also, that's how I access my house.... how do these people who need a door get into their house at the moment? Are they related to Santa??? At this point they usually realise that I'm taking the michael! Love it ;D |
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;D) I don't take kindly to then getting pestered at 8pm in the evening when I am still finishing my 'working' day with at least another 2 hours to go before I get the chance to get a bath & go to bed.
