after 3 and a half years......

[amumwithapony]

sorry, am really having a moan this week.

My OH moved in about 3 years ago. we had been together for 6 months prior to that, and when we first got together it was that reallly hot summer (remember them?). anyway, he was a fan of camping at that time and we talked about us going camping for the weekend, but never got round to it, as you do.

when he moved in, he brought all his camping stuff from his mums. this includes a massive big bag on wheels with a tent and sleeping bags in it, a windbreaker, 4 camping chairs, a camping stove, one of those fold away picnic tables and a couple of cooler bag things filled with useful camping stuff like kettles and tin plates etc etc. this stuff all lives at the top of my cellar steps, which is quite a good size and the camping stuff takes about half of that space up. in the 3 and a half years we have been together we have never been camping. prefer my summer hols in a nice foreign hotel. while i am not saying we are never going to go, i certainly dont plan on going between now and lets say june/july of next year. im now doing my pre christmas house blitz, which means getting rid of all the junk we have accumalted over the last year, springcleaning everything and having a general sort out as you do. mentioned to him that i was going to move the offending camping gear to the brick outhouse we have outside (which is dry) and now hes got the face on! everytime i clear top of the cellar out i mention moving camping gear to shed and we have an argument! he doesnt want in there as it was expensive and we may use it. not used it in 3 and a half years is my reply, we re not gonna start now. GRRRRRRRR

the top of the cellar is the only storage space i have downstairs and used to be home to boots, pony clothes, paperwork for the business, DIY stuff, my hoover and mop bucket and is now taken over by camping stuff that we dont use and loads of other bits and pieces he insists on keeping. there is nowhere else to put it (apart from cellar which floods every winter) and i really need the space (think my new tumble dryer is going to live there to be honest!)

is it just me, or do men hoard the most useless stuff in the world? he always hides stuff in there, and there is also a sky box (we re now in Virgin), an areial booster (we re digital), 2 pairs of somebody elses work boots, a large empty Hilti drill box, 2 shoeboxes filled with paperwork (which i have offered to sort out into files for him), a drill that doesnt work, a green plastic box with various bits of cr~p in it, 3 hi viz work jackets which he doesnt wear and about 5 builders helmets (he only has 1 head!). have a good mind to get rid of the lot while hes at work tonight,bet he wouldnt even notice! men, cant live with them, cant shoot em!

[wobbles]

I sympathise with you AMWAP, as I have a hoarder too, rusty nails and screws etc etc, ( what annoys is that whenever he has a project, probably one I have set him, but that's by the by, he goes and buys all new nails and screws!!!!!!!!!) he moans about the state of the garage, (which he alone goes into) and when I gently tell him it's HIM that makes the mess he too adopts the FACE lol, this must be a male thing, they can't say no to any old crap, yet when I was offered a "metal" cupboard, a bit like a large wardrobe, to put all my horsey stuff in, as we had a wooden set of drawers, but the wood swells in the winter and I can't get the drawers to open and the fact that the rats got in up the back and ate and shredded my Horsey first aid kit I had got together (£150 ) worth, he really didn't want me to have it WHY!!!!!!!!!!! I stood firm and I did get it and it's wonderful.
So my advice is to get it moved out and see what happens from there, Good Luck

[amumwithapony]

thanks for the support wobbles! THE SHED is a whole different story, but a bit like your garage. its a good size, with a big window so should be a good place to store all his bit of junk. however due to the fact that this is already full with millions (and i do mean millions) of boxes and packets of screws and fixings not much will fit in. i tidied it all out at the start of the summer. i jampacked my car with all sorts of stuff to take to the tip and sorted 7 (yes 7) toolbags and blets out that had been dumped in there by him. i put all the screws and fixings into there own seperate boxes and packets, and left them neatly stacked, i put all the rubbish from these bags in the bin (including 2 very mouldy flasks and the remains of someones packed lunch), i kept all his bits of old drill for DIY SOS when another one breaks so he can use them for parts and i also neatly piled his now empty tool bags and belts up, so he could get to them as and when.

i showed him all this, and when he realised that i hadnt actually thrown anything (much) away he ws very pleased with it. little girls outdoor toys were on one side of shed, lawnmower and strimmer neatly hung on wall, all his stuff on the other. shed heaven! i havent been in there for a while, but i know, i just know that when i try and hide tent and stuff in there it will be junked up again.

i also wanted one of those metal wardrobe things for extra storage space, to put in shed so we could bolt it to wall and keep some more of his more expensive tools out there. he didnt want one cos he said he wouldnt have enough stuff to fill it! yeah right, we could have a full size storage container and he would fill it in a matter of days. grrrrrrrr

[nici]

Those metal cabinets are brilliant. We have 4 of them (bought from a scrap metal dealer at £20 a go). One is at home in the shed (for all HIS stuff - so why are HIS tools filling up our tiny kitchen...?) The other three are at the yard for my pony stuff. They're brilliant for storing things away tidily - but I could do with at least 2 more You can even fit saddle racks on the sides and use them for tack - I have 5 saddles and about 6 bridles in one!

[poniesrus]

I find stuff 'creeps' its way in to the house when they do jobbies and never creeps back out again .... until I get pee'd off with looking at it and tell him 'in the shed or in the bin - your choice', then he takes it back out and puts it in his workshop !!

It's a man thing !!

Mine has his own workshop - I never go in there unless he's in there and I want something. He keeps it locked because his tools are in there. He knows where EVERYTHING in there is.

I have my tackroom - same rules above apply.

But he still tends to clutter up our bootroom after doing an 'indoor' job and I end up telling him to remove it all pronto !

As for the work boots and hi viz gear .... just don't go there !! My boot room currently has 4 hi viz vests, all that I've washed, but none that he uses as they get issued new every couple of months .... so why put the ruddy things out for washing, just bin them !!! The winter hi viz jackets, 2 of those in there ... why, he's been told to get shot of those. Work boots ... again, get issued them every 3 months, the old ones get left and left and left ..... after a week of them being there I tend to open back door and fire them out telling him to bin the ruddy things.

Nightmare !!

[brindlerainbow]

men are born with a "special" face that instantly comes on when they dont like what they're hearing eg new pony,lorry instead of trailer,no I wont clean the car,no I dont care if theres dog hairs on the kitchen floor etc etc. My OH also hoards and when we moved into this house 10 years ago he instantly turned 1 of the 3 stables into a "workshop" and put bloody shelves everywhere and hooks, on 1 of the hooks is hanging a very,very, small roll of ancient rusty knackered wire.......why?? we have endless grease cannisters for diggers/tractors and we own neither.......why?? several oil cans...surely 1 is enough?, boxes and boxes of screws,nails,fencing staples,other things plus lots of other "stuff". If this was all got rid of I could have 3 stables instead of 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMWAP my OH also has several builders hats and only 1 head so what is that all about I wonder???. There are so many unanswered questions about men and the bizzare things they do and the bizzare theories they have!!!!!!

[amumwithapony]

they are a nightmare arent they. thats just the tools and other stuff he hoards never mind clothes! he has 3 quaters of wardrobe and cupboard space in our house, anything deemed not good enough to wear out and about goes into his work clothes drawer. but you are never allowed tothrow work clothes away, even when they have more holes in them than a net curtain! he must 35 t shirts in there, 12 hoddies, 10 pair of jeans, and about a thousand pair of thick work socks that make his sock drawer not close properly with holes in them. and do not even get me started on boxer shorts! that man has more boxer shorts than calvin klien and will not throw any away. and you can guarantee that if i start sneaking stuff out he will want the pair that i have thrown away.

and then there was the coat. this coat moved in when the tent did. it is a furry hooded parka. it is a monstrosity and would double as a sleeping bag for all three of us. and it smells fusty even though i have washed it. said to him, why are you keeping this, its horrible and you will never wear it. it will come back in fashion again he says. when they did briefly reappear in the shops last year he looked really smug, so i suggessted him wearing it, he got that face and asked if i had PMT as i was being sarcastic. asked if i could bin it. no he said. i moved it from the holdall it was living in to the shed. it reappered on the coat rack 2 days later, cluttering it up. put it on top of cellar, back on coat rack 2 days later. i gave it his dad, he went and got it back. when i asked why he was so insistent on keeping it as he would never wear at as we go everywhere by car and he has 2 nice leather jackets, 14 hoodies and a couple more nice evening coats he said it will come in handy for in the winter when i take the dog for a walk.

we dont even have a dog.

coat is now on top of wardrobe again, and i swear at it every time i clean top of wardrobe or get suitcases out.

[gtr121]

Stick the coat on E bay and spend the money on something you need.

[Julie(luke3)]

amwap I know exactly how you feel. My in-laws and hubby's uncle all live with us and they don't get rid of anything. They have more bloody electric buggys,walking frames ect ect. Sometimes(well all the time) I think I live in a nursing home!!! Then there's the kids stuff. Hubby has 3 of his bikes in the dining room because they might get damp out in the barn. I could go on and on.Ahhhhhhhhhh.

[brindlerainbow]

Luke3 move your ponies into the house they might get cold in the stables!!!!!!!!!

[beckie]

My OH went to see his old house mate the other day and he had been loft clearing and guess what 2 awful statues!!!!
African tribe men and they are creepy! He now wants to put them in the flat! I`m going to get rid when hes forgotten about them>

[Julie(luke3)]

Nov 19, 2009 10:46:06 GMT brindlerainbow said:

Luke3 move your ponies into the house they might get cold in the stables!!!!!!!!!

I would rather have the ponies in the house ;D They are a dam sight cleaner than the old crumblie's!!!!

xx

[kickon]

Would rather have another old person than my so called other half!! Who is only with me for my house and land
He has threatened me that if He goes he can take half my family home I have neve been so unhappy in my life

[Milliesmum]

Kickon that's so sad Can you not see a solicitor and check out exactly where you stand? There must be something you can do?

[Julie(luke3)]

kickon I'm so sorry. Agree with mm find out all your rights. Sending lots of hugs xxxxxxx

[kickon]

Thank you both I am so hurt really I thought because he paid nothing that he would not have the right?

[Julie(luke3)]

kickon I have pm'd you x

[chocoholic]

Nearly 5 weeks we have been in our new house, and still no hot water