Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 14:01:55 GMT
ruined flowing pink skirt became entangled in the reins, Halfpasses pony disappeared over the horizon with the pink skirt flapping. Halfpass tried desperately to cover his modesty with . . . . .
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 14:05:24 GMT
carpark attendant thought he'd been made redundant as it was his job to rescue all damsels in distress and ....
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 14:12:18 GMT
Ferret said what a good idea, covering your modesty with a carpark attendant, wish I'd thought of that! But then Halfpasses other half ran up with a replacement skirt, it wasn't pink this time it was . . . . .
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 14:38:25 GMT
a hula hula skirt made of raffeta- unfortunately the rain had got to it and it was now quite soggy........the material started to disintegrate and then............
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 14:40:42 GMT
A kindly steward reappeared with the errant pony, minus the skirt but otherwise unscathed. The pony was feeling peckish after his tour of the showground, and he liked his hay soaked. Suddenly he spotted the new skirt and . . . . .
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 14:50:00 GMT
now mud-spattered underwear. Halfpass was so grateful to be spared any more embarrasment, he looked up with undying gratitude in his eyes. The car park attendant looked back and as their eyes met . . . . .
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 14:58:04 GMT
and his cheeks went a glowing bright red and he help....
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 14:59:33 GMT
ding! Not love at first sight............no it was the car park attendant that Halfass had mown down whilst making a quick getaway from the last county show.........(his yearling had eaten the lady judges hat and she was screaming for her lawyer) ooooo eck cried halfpass scrabbling to his feet and..............
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 15:02:58 GMT
Halfpass back to his feet, the pony let out a loud drawn out fart, it was fart monkey and halfpass had been showing him for Seahorse. They both laughed and Halfpass offered to buy the carpark attendant a drink, so they headed off in the direction of the bar . . .. .
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 15:12:19 GMT
were a local judge had a part time job as a bar maid and gave them all a hot chocolate with a brandy in......
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 15:13:40 GMT
Ferret and Overatdaknee opted for scotch and after one too many started telling Halfpass the story of when.................
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 15:48:42 GMT
Ferret went sailing last summer in July, but did not get as far as the M5, because....
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 15:50:54 GMT
there was a fire in the ashtray of her car and she had to call the fire brigade, luckily the 5 hunky firemen put out the fire before there was too much damage, but as it was july they were getting very hot in their firemens uniforms so they . . . . . . .
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 16:08:28 GMT
......peeled them off...........ferret started to get short of breath when- OMG she spotted the pink ballerina tattoo on their shoulders. hesitantly, she enquired, 'Do you know halfpass?' smiling, the nearest fireman replied................
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Post by dun4u on Jan 15, 2008 16:12:48 GMT
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 16:14:37 GMT
Oh yes, we're all members of the tutu club, didn't he tell you? No said ferret, what's the tutu club, and the fireman replied . . . . .
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halfpass
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Post by halfpass on Jan 15, 2008 16:24:12 GMT
its were we all practice our ballet movements wearing nothing but very revealing tights and asked ferret whether she would like to go to a demonstration
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 16:28:25 GMT
Ferret said that unfortunately she had a prior engagement with a sailing instructor, but she'd just remembered she needed to visit tesco's on the way and pick up some meat and vegetables. She bid the firemen a fond farewell and . . . . . .
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 16:29:54 GMT
Ferret looked around, everything had gone very quiet- she felt quite removed from the situattion she was in. On the horizon was a bright light, as it moved closer she could make out the faint outline of a flying saucer and it was coming straight towards them!!!!!!!!!!
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 16:33:56 GMT
A cloud passed over the sun that was in ferret's eyes, and the flying saucer (it was Doulton) smashed against the bonnet of her car. Closely followed by cup, teapot and sugar bowl. It was Halfpass and his OH having a domestic, as the shouting grew louder ferret could hear . . . .
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 16:36:10 GMT
it was the car park attendant in his bright jacket telling her he was wanting to lock the gates of the carpark and was there anyone else that could drive her lorry as she was not fit....
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Post by overatdaknee on Jan 15, 2008 16:42:07 GMT
everyone turned to look at the car park attendant, he was still smiling but the smile appeared frozen on his face. Slowly he toppled forward and lay completely out cold on the tarmac- a bump was forming where he had been clobbered by the flying (Doulton) saucer that had been aimed at Halfpass.................
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 17:26:59 GMT
Quick, shouted ferret, somebody call for a paramedic! Halfpass reached for his mobile and . . . .
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Post by ammevo on Jan 15, 2008 17:28:45 GMT
but she was far too quick for the china and ducked out the way. The carpark attendant was a little worse for wear due to the hot chocolate and brandy he'd consumed while listening to ....
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Post by dun4u on Jan 15, 2008 17:40:02 GMT
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halfpass
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Post by halfpass on Jan 15, 2008 18:07:25 GMT
Chris Moyles on radio one, who was announcing that milliesmum had just won the phone in competition on guess the age of......
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 18:12:25 GMT
the piece of stilton Mr. Moyles had found lurking at the back of his fridge. Milliesmum was a secret expert on aged stilton, and her prize was . . . . .
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Post by cappedhock on Jan 15, 2008 18:20:03 GMT
a years supply of cooking oil,which she was going give to.......
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Milliesmum
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Post by Milliesmum on Jan 15, 2008 18:31:09 GMT
Halfpass, who had won the second prize in the phone in, which was a night out with . . . . .
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halfpass
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Post by halfpass on Jan 15, 2008 18:34:57 GMT
Ken Dodd and the DIDDY MEN but as he could not go, he gave the tickets to Milliesmum, overatdaknee,overbent, dun4u and seahorse, because he knew they realy liked........
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