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Post by hs on Jan 30, 2011 17:25:30 GMT
I don't often moan but after seeing a young teenager in tears at a local show jumping today my moan is at parents buying inappropriate ponies for their kids.
This girl has the most beautiful looking pony on the yard by far, stunning. It is her first pony and her parents are inexperienced so what has happened is probably not entirely their fault, though they did say the sellers were looking to sell the pony to a show pony home but in the end let them buy it.
All the young girl wants is to be able to join in with the other teenagers on her yard doing pony club type stuff such as hacking out or clear round jumping etc.
Her pony although it does work in an outline is very difficult in situations where is not working in the school doing individuals shows, is not easy to hack out, she has to swap ponies with more confident children sometimes and today at the show she was too frightened to do the jumping and even the most confident jumping teenager on the yard was not able to get the pony over a small course of jumps. The young girl was in tears poor thing after a difficult hack over and the pony won't do clear round jumping either.
They are a lovely family but I feel so sorry for the girl, it is all good and well having the most beautiful pony on the yard and everyone including their instructor saying in a few years time you will be winning everything, when what the girl really wants is a furry schoolmaster who she can cuddle and she can have fun on and join in all the activities with the other children. She is still in the first pony stage where any pony would be loved regardless of its looks and her friends have normal ponies so she would not feel a less attractive pony would be not as good.
I think they have bought their daughter the wrong pony, I won't say anything as they probably won't understand how an older perhaps less striking pony might be a better pony.
After seeing so many children in tears and looking grumpy at shows due to badly behaved ponies, I do wonder why so many parents seem to choose ponies that make their children miserable expecting them to grow into the pony, when there are so many great but perhaps less pretty ponies out there who would give more pleasure.
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amyx
Junior Member
Posts: 157
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Post by amyx on Jan 30, 2011 17:34:57 GMT
That is so sad.
I know exactly where you are coming from. I have seen many of families buy the wrong poines.
But I do feel that the seller of the pony is not being responsible either. I have turned away buyers because our pony was obviously not right for them. I think that older ponies who have alot to offer are often over looked in favour of younger ponies.
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Post by hs on Jan 30, 2011 17:45:40 GMT
i don't think the sellers were really at fault as they did say they wanted it to go to a showing home but in end they could not find a showing home for the pony so let these people buy, and they probably did not understand what they sellers were insinuating as they don't know what showing is!
the pony is ok in the arena doing flat work, i guess it has just not done other things and for a first pony where the rider has come from a riding school background and not had a chance to hack out unescorted or go to many shows, it is shame she can't enjoy these activities.
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Post by sageandonion on Jan 30, 2011 18:39:49 GMT
Totally agree, it is very sad for the child and the pony and downward spiral for both.
It is interesting that experienced riders/instuctors' children often have the scruffiest little ponies ever, completely safe and to give their children confidence. Handsome is as handsome does.
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Post by Louise Dixon on Jan 30, 2011 19:21:48 GMT
what a shame for the girl and the pony.
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Post by bowditchblobs on Jan 30, 2011 19:26:40 GMT
Happens all the time, novice adults always seem to go for "posh" tb types when a hairy cob is needed!
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Post by hs on Jan 30, 2011 19:46:23 GMT
but i guess a novice adult has chosen their own mount so i feel less sorry for them!
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Post by amanda on Jan 30, 2011 20:59:26 GMT
hs a adult is aware of their limitations so have to take some responsibility for their choices, it is really sad that this poor girl through parents inexperience is suffering .is there no one who could have a quite word with the parents and suggest a quieter pony?
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Post by bumblebee on Jan 30, 2011 21:16:54 GMT
It is interesting that experienced riders/instuctors' children often have the scruffiest little ponies ever, completely safe and to give their children confidence. Handsome is as handsome does. Couldn't agree more!! Until the child is ready to move on to a much smarter pony once they are actually ready for it - which often isn't long if they've built up confidence and ability from the start rather than being left terrified. |
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Post by beachbum12 on Jan 30, 2011 21:46:09 GMT
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Post by xxshowponyxx on Jan 30, 2011 22:22:41 GMT
I have been in the sellers position, I bought a lovely youngster and slowly bought him on. He was dark liver chesnut and a real stunner but at rising 5 I knew he was well behaved because he was in an experienced home, but I also knew he would take the mick with a less experienced family.
We advertised him for sale when our jockey had a massive growth spurt, and described him as honestly as possible. A lovely family came along to try him for their daughters first pony. She could ride extremely well for saying she had only had weekly lessons but I knew that if problems arose due to his cheeky character they would not know how to deal with them. They loved him at first sight but I said I didnt think he was suitable.
They came back a second time with their experienced helper when I told them exactly the same. Experienced helper called me back the next day to say she had another much more experienced family who were looking for a pony like him. She did indeed bring a young girl and a woman over who were indeed much more experienced and fell in love with the pony and answered all of my questions in a suitable way. They proceeded to buy the pony.
It came to my attention some weeks later that the second experienced family was in fact a set up which the first family and experienced helper had cooked up in order to be able to buy the pony!!! I was so upset!! They were having all sorts of problems with him, but whenever I called to try and offer help they just denyed that they owned him!
The so called experienced person was long gone and they were unable to even catch the pony, which was a problem we had never had! Last I heard he was sold without his papers through a dealer...all because someone would not be told that a pony wasnt suitable for them!!!
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Post by mcw on Jan 31, 2011 17:13:11 GMT
I have been in the sellers position, I bought a lovely youngster and slowly bought him on. He was dark liver chesnut and a real stunner but at rising 5 I knew he was well behaved because he was in an experienced home, but I also knew he would take the mick with a less experienced family. We advertised him for sale when our jockey had a massive growth spurt, and described him as honestly as possible. A lovely family came along to try him for their daughters first pony. She could ride extremely well for saying she had only had weekly lessons but I knew that if problems arose due to his cheeky character they would not know how to deal with them. They loved him at first sight but I said I didnt think he was suitable. They came back a second time with their experienced helper when I told them exactly the same. Experienced helper called me back the next day to say she had another much more experienced family who were looking for a pony like him. She did indeed bring a young girl and a woman over who were indeed much more experienced and fell in love with the pony and answered all of my questions in a suitable way. They proceeded to buy the pony. It came to my attention some weeks later that the second experienced family was in fact a set up which the first family and experienced helper had cooked up in order to be able to buy the pony!!! I was so upset!! They were having all sorts of problems with him, but whenever I called to try and offer help they just denyed that they owned him! The so called experienced person was long gone and they were unable to even catch the pony, which was a problem we had never had! Last I heard he was sold without his papers through a dealer...all because someone would not be told that a pony wasnt suitable for them!!! i have a few people like that on my yard! they have very cheeky ponies and have no idea how to cope with them! they think they no it all until the pony does something unexpected and then they go and cry for help! well TBH i can't be bothered with people who don't listen, and if i offer my help and they refuse i will not offer to help them when they are in need of it! they should have listened in the first place! people like this make my blood boil just talking about it! |
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Post by canna on Jan 31, 2011 22:12:23 GMT
Interesting thread, and replicated all over the country. Locally to me, a wonderful, ordinary, safe pony-club pony was sold on, and replaced by an inappropriate, but very classy, show pony. Too strong for the girl, but ticked all the high-achieving mums' ideals.
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Post by colourz on Jan 31, 2011 22:24:35 GMT
Very sad, but its the same old problem that some people do not know what they do not know and are not willing to learn, I am learning all the time and still got lots more to learn! its the pony that gets the worst deal though, so very sad, put you off selling...but cant keep them all.
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sarahp
Happy to help
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Post by sarahp on Feb 1, 2011 6:52:01 GMT
Not all smart ponies are unsuitable for novices though, some are still saints - and vice versa. Daughter's Welsh B, bought after she had been frightened by something else, had been a top class WHP, jumping round the old Peterborough plaited final year after year, but was still a lamb for her, one of those invaluable ponies who tempered their way of going to the ability of the body in top, any novice friends of hers could ride him in perfect safety. Likewise, some ordinary ponies are anything but saints!
I do of course agree that children should have ponies suiting their ability, but it's not as simple as ordinary type vs showing type. Another thought - children need ponies that match their characters. A brave child that falls off, bounces and gets back on without a care in the world will be happy with a different sort of pony than one who is capable of being frightened off the whole idea if the pony is too testing for them, almost regardless of their riding ability.
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Post by Wishiwasrich on Feb 1, 2011 8:34:34 GMT
oh, it seems to happen all to often. As parents we must concentrate more on helping our children to enjoy their riding and not thinking about rosettes that we all end up putting in a bag under the stairs anyway. xxx (p.s. i have also been guilty of getting the wrong pony before, sell and get something some suitable).
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Post by smudge99 on Feb 3, 2011 17:41:02 GMT
xxshowponyxx that story is horrible you must have felt really bad.
I am planning on selling daughters super safe but forward going pony later on in the year and I am telling everyone that she is a 3rd pony just so I dont get a lot of numpties turning up.
God us mums have a lot to answer for sometimes lol
Liz
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Post by honeypot on Feb 20, 2011 21:00:53 GMT
I rode for an old fashioned dealer as a child. He basically bought outgrown or lost interest ponies and kept them in the back fields and we children rode them all over until they were sold. They were all good basic ponies, if they weren't they went for meat.
We had one from a youngster that we backed ourselves and hacked all over who was very smart. Someone came to view and I rode it, the propective buyers child couldn't really ride one side of it . The dealer told them 3 times it wasn't for her, when they still wanted after the 3rd time the deal was done.Some people you just cannot help.
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ewj
Full Member
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Post by ewj on Feb 20, 2011 21:11:10 GMT
I have been guilty of buying an unsuitable pony - I do come from an experience horsey family but made the stupid mistake of buying a 5 yar old unbroken pony for my 5 year old child!! - I don't know what I was thinking!!!
3 years later and after a few mishaps & tears my daughter and her pony are BEST friends and my daughter can sit most things that perhaps some of her friends can't. - ( I must admit though it has been a long road and there have been times when I would come home from a pony club rally and decided 'THAT'S IT THE PONY IS GOING!!!!)
GLAD WE STUCK TO IT THOUGH ! ;D
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Post by Ziggy on Feb 22, 2011 10:10:51 GMT
yes I too have been guilty of having innapropriate ponies/horses for myself and for my daughter.
I totally lost my confidence after getting the most beautufl horse many years ago. Nearly broke my back after very bad fall. Horse had the looks to easily get to HOYS but was way too much for me. Sad for me and the horse. Really was one of many of ponies that were not right for me but I thought I could win with them, very silly indeed!!!
Should have learnt my lesson when looking for a pony for my daughter but no..... i have no sense! Daughter now very reluctant to ride.
Message to all parents looking for very first pony, dont go for looks go for little plod, plod to give child confidence the step up gear once child has the ability.
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katy1
Full Member
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Post by katy1 on Feb 22, 2011 20:30:07 GMT
I totally agree with Sara p about child's personality, I bought my eldest a 6 month foal when she was 6 months. At 4 I backed him and did leaden for 6 months before my daughter got bored and I got worn out! Off the lead we went... she fell off every day at least once for 3 months.. terrible mother I know! However she was determined and brave and persevered she was doing first ridden at 5 and for the next 4 years hunted jumped and showed never coming back without a red rossette. A number of unsuitable Ponys later and ridding for a dealer at 14 she will sit on anything and is as brave. However I could never think about anything other than a saint for my other daughter as she doesn't have the confidence.
The wrong pony can become the right pony in the rights hands, and he is still in the field totally outgrown yrs ago but going nowhere.
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Post by tabbyx on Feb 22, 2011 22:05:20 GMT
Some friends of mine bought a lovely welsh B for their 2 daughters aged 9 and 7 at the time,youngest is very confident but isn't as advanced with her riding as she didn't start until she was 4,eldest child gets very nervous. pony was sold to them as a 4 year,turned out he was only 3,eldest daughter has broken both her arms coming off him. Beautiful pony and could go to hoys as a shp,i've been dying to get my hands on him ever since the got him,i've ridden him several times and although he is hard work and really has no idea how to go in an outline or use himself he could be fantastic.
I had a nasty fall off a 14.2 a year ago,really knocked my confidence on bigger ponies,anything up to 13.2 i'm fine with but once it goes over i get a bit nervous. I will ride anything under that,I got chucked off a welsh A last year and really mashed my face up,it's still swollen and tender now 4 months on,yet the week after most of the swelling went down Iwas back on my own welsh A who gets pretty cheeky when Iride him,an angel for anyone else though,he was having a little paddy because it was windy and rainy and he hadn't been ridden for a while without a care in the world. I'm more confident on my show pony than I am on my old section B. Before the fall off the 14.2 I was quite happily riding myfriends 14.3 very hot headed chesnut pba mare and happily taking her round fields etc. It's taken me a while but i'm getting there. I will still get on most things though,especially the smaller ones.
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Post by finstutt on Mar 17, 2011 7:24:59 GMT
i made this mistake but it was a very bad 1
bought a jumping 13hh 5 year old quiet lovely pony
wen we get her home she is fine i ride her everyday
but as soon as i did not she use to bite peole nap rear up most lossons
so we sold her
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Post by lornahealey on Mar 23, 2011 12:06:59 GMT
a lot of the problems we see down here are snobbish parents whoneed to compete with each other and have their little darlings better than everyone elses.
the kids end up overhorsed and terrified whilst the parents are complaining that they are not winning.
we cant all give birth to the next zara phillips and there are a lot of unscrupulous people who are also blinded by the love they feel for there pony and they do feel it is a saint.
the really good ponies normally go through word of mouth and cost a fair price.but it is also hard when the children whinge that a suitable pony is not goodlooking or flash enough and then parentsnovice or not have to have the brains to see that its not going to work-you wouldnt buy a 17yr old a ferrarri for theit first car why do it with a pony
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bud86
Junior Member
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Post by bud86 on Mar 25, 2011 18:16:45 GMT
a lot of the problems we see down here are snobbish parents whoneed to compete with each other and have their little darlings better than everyone elses. the kids end up overhorsed and terrified whilst the parents are complaining that they are not winning. we cant all give birth to the next zara phillips and there are a lot of unscrupulous people who are also blinded by the love they feel for there pony and they do feel it is a saint. the really good ponies normally go through word of mouth and cost a fair price.but it is also hard when the children whinge that a suitable pony is not goodlooking or flash enough and then parentsnovice or not have to have the brains to see that its not going to work-you wouldnt buy a 17yr old a ferrarri for theit first car why do it with a pony /\ /\ /\ /\ What they said! Apart from the best ponies dont always cost thousands, my little sec A gelding cost £450 as a 3 yr old, now he's 6 and my novice 6 yr old daughter is hacking him out with me riding my horse!! He's worth his weight in gold  Bugger spending thousands, just got to have a good eye  xx |
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Post by hs on Mar 26, 2011 21:59:15 GMT
The people in question have admitted defeat and now an adult and some more experienced teenagers are mainly riding and schooling the pony for the them and the girl just gets on a couple of time a week such a shame especially with the school holidays coming up.
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Post by laurajazmine on Mar 26, 2011 23:19:17 GMT
I've read this with interest, My mum realistically bought me an inapporiate pony, I was 8 years old, first pony, unbroken 2 year old. However, she was not meant to be for keeps and luckily she turned out to be perfect and we grew up together and learnt with eachother.
Can see the point though, and its a shame because it is the kids that miss out on all the enjoyment.
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Post by pipandwill on Mar 27, 2011 20:39:33 GMT
the ones showing are bad, they require lots of working in by aldults, the worst is the first riddens, they should be safe, not needed to have a adult on it.
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Post by hs on May 2, 2011 19:05:18 GMT
child borrowed an older schoolmaster pony to compete and did fantastically and had a wonderful time. Child then "jokes" how she wants to buy one of the other very slow steady horses which is much admired by everyone for his safeness and reliability.
I commented to mum on how well the child had done on borrowed pony and how well suited they seemed to be. Mum said then oh but this has made me realize she looks so much smarter on her pony and how beautiful it is.
What is the point of having smart pony if your child can't join in activities with friends I thought.
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Post by nici on May 3, 2011 7:41:44 GMT
Oh that's so sad HS, I really don't understand the parents who put looks and show success above the safetly and happiness of their kids! Surely your kids should come before your ambitions?
Our ponies are never going to be HOYS winners - or even qualify to get there - but the kids have endless hours of fun with them, and do all the work with them themselves. That surely is what it's all about, isn't it?
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Bugger spending thousands, just got to have a good eye 
xx
