Lead Rein.... Who is it actually for???!!!

[bud86]

This year my 6 yr old daughter wanted to do LR with her 6 yr old welsh A pony. So I have kitted us out (on the cheap!!) and she has been to 6 shows this year and thoroughly enjoyed it, She has actually done really well! I know nothing about LR nor does my pony. I taught him (how I thought it should be done ) And its paying off ;D
My daughter hasn't ridden that much, I broke the pony 2 years ago and mainly I have ridden him, but this year I have stopped wrapping daughter up in cotton wool and letting her get on with it ;D The pony is 110% in everyway.

I'm a nervous wreck for atleast 24 hours before the shows we have been to. We have Royal Cornwall on Saturday and I'm stressing already! Heart palpitations and all

In this last week, 3 times I have had comments about my pony... 'He's our only stiff competition' ......
He hasn;t won and gone champion at any shows! Last weekend we got 1st and res champ.


My point is, who do these parents do it for? Surely not the child? I mean, FFS how sad can someone be to actually say that to our faces at a show? Is it not about your child and pony having fun? I'm not exactly enjoying it lol! I can't wait for her to do FR!


What's everyone elses opinions? I know I put on here about kiddies ponies being live wires the other week. So pretty much the same subject... It's ALL about the bloody parents

My daughters happiness comes above mine any day! If she didn't want to sit on her pony ever again, I'd be dis heartened but I wouldn't make her cos of my inhibitions!

[muggley]

I like parents like you! The ones that actually look after their childrens interests.

I was Lead Reining at a show at the weekend (not my child! A borrowed one!) and a lovely Welsh A pony went out to do it's show. As they trotted across the diagonal the rider dropped one of her reins, the clever pony slowed down until he could feel a contact on it again and then picked back up to a normal trot. Now if I could hear what the mother said to the child going round there then sure as hell the judge did!

She said: If you dare drop your bloody rein at the Royal Highland Show you will never, ever be allowed to sit on a pony again, do I make myself clear? DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR???

Said pairing finished their show and went back into the lineup where upon the mother spent the next 10mins having a go at the poor kid. The kid insisting it was an accident and she didn't mean to do it but mother dearest, still shouting loud enough for the tannoys to be drowned out, declaring that she did it deliberately. The poor kid was in floods of tears by the end of the class. The pairing were duly put last, the mother rammed the rosette onto the child, threw the packet of sweets at her that the steward had just handed over then literally dragged said pairing from the ring still effing and blinding before the class had officailly been dismissed. They got to the ring rope, the mother socked the pony in the nose with her lead rein to get it to stand while she opened up the ring and the pony shot through at the speed of light for fear of getting walloped. Kid dropped sweets and reins which set off another round of shouting.

The kid did nothing wrong, the pony was an absolute gem in that he steadied up, still trotting just much slower, until the rider had regained her reins and really looked after her. That mother deserves neither pony nor child.

As I left in the opposite direction the steward had come out of the ring to give the kid back her sweets and her rosette that had been dropped and I do believe she gave the mother a very stern talking too as she was there for 5 mins with mother going redder and redder in the face and not getting a word in edgeways! I love those sort of stewards! So if the same thing happens in a few weeks time then she is going to get the sharp side of my tongue and I am no great fan of kids - hence why I borrow them then hand them back again.

No child nor pony deserves that. They didn't win, so what? The judge may well have placed them higher for the pony being genuine if the mother hadn't started mouthing off.

Although I hate to imagine what goes on at home if that going on at shows!

[sallie]

lets hear a round of clapping for the Steward -- Child Protection child protection we all have a duty of care
Abuse is not always physical it is also mental, this you all must guess is a pet subject of mine ( OH and moi both work with vulnerable young people)
so pleas if anybody sees anything like this report it to the shows child protection officer

[cayo]

Jesus mugley how did you contain yourself not to go and give her a good talking to yourself what an utter bit*h

[rightrein92]

how can anyone treat a pony like that never mind a poor child ,id have given her a peice of my mind i had a member of my family like that to which as soon as i was old enough i told her to go away in some more harsh tones , that child will grow up to resent her x

[ilovenatives]

I was at a show on sunday where a mum smacked her daughters bottom as she was crying because her pony kept tanking off . she didnt smack her very hard but i just felt so sorry for the poor kid . She then chucked the child back on to go in the championship as they had won the FYFR class earlier . Child didnt want to do the championship and it was unlikely to get anywhere having just tanked of twice . It was a lovelly pony but to much for a little kid just off the lead . It had been fine untill she asked it to canter then it kept bombing off . I think it was just fed up though as mum had took it in a ridden class in the morning , then it did 4 lead reins and a championship with the younger child and then 3 first riddens .
You have hit the nail on the head though most lead reins its the parents who want to do it more than the kids . There was one mum i spoke to though who was going home after one class as it was cold and wet and her tiny daughter had had enough . I told her she was very sensible not to push the little girl and she said if she is not enjoying it whats the point .
Im so glad my daughter is out of lead rein now i didnt enjoy leading at all .

[armada]

Jun 9, 2011 11:10:16 GMT ilovenatives said:

I was at a show on sunday where a mum smacked her daughters bottom as she was crying because her pony kept tanking off . she didnt smack her very hard but i just felt so sorry for the poor kid . She then chucked the child back on to go in the championship as they had won the FYFR class earlier . Child didnt want to do the championship and it was unlikely to get anywhere having just tanked of twice . It was a lovelly pony but to much for a little kid just off the lead . It had been fine untill she asked it to canter then it kept bombing off . I think it was just fed up though as mum had took it in a ridden class in the morning , then it did 4 lead reins and a championship with the younger child and then 3 first riddens .
You have hit the nail on the head though most lead reins its the parents who want to do it more than the kids . There was one mum i spoke to though who was going home after one class as it was cold and wet and her tiny daughter had had enough . I told her she was very sensible not to push the little girl and she said if she is not enjoying it whats the point .
Im so glad my daughter is out of lead rein now i didnt enjoy leading at all .

Was that the bay pony? She told me the child was crying because she did'nt want to go back on the lead rein, did'nt relise she had got into trouble, the youngster needed confidence giving from her parent, not being made to feel as though it was her fault.

[emma3870]

Firstly i would be proud that i am just starting off and i am having good remarks about my pony - it proves you are doing things right and should boost your confidence.

Looking at LR classes you can spot the parent doing it more for themselves than the kids. If a child is happy doing it they will have a smile on their face and chat away to other children/parents. Its when they sit in the line up glum that i think is it all worth it?

As for abusing your child at a show - they need to be put in a black book!

Good luck at Cornwall - just go and enjoy it and dont take any notice of others.

[ilovenatives]

Yes it was the Bay pony , we were standing near little girl was very upset because of the pony tanking of as it had scared her . I think if i remember rightly child sobbed she was scared and mum smacked her . She didnt want to do the championship but was crying long before that poor kid . Your right children do need encouraging .
Thanks for sunday by the way it has given Louise a massive boost to her confidence , she has had problems with nerves since falling off at Area 20 spring . I was a very proud mum on sunday
Armada there was alot of positive comments about your judging on sunday , people said you were very nice and took the time to give advice as to how people could improve .

[muggley]

Jun 9, 2011 10:08:09 GMT cayo said:

Jesus mugley how did you contain yourself not to go and give her a good talking to yourself what an utter bit*h

I had to get my lead rein kid off of the pony and swop stirrups, number, gloves and punt said kids older sister on for the first ridden straight afterwards. If the steward hadn't gone over I would have tracked her down once my beast was safely in the ring on time.

It's people like her that give showing a bad name and then they wonder why their kids no longer want to ride ponies and move onto other things. I am sure we have missed out on some truly cracking riders because of just this sort of thing.

[kelliwic]

We got our daughter a pony (more for me i think) did a few shows then she decided she didnt want to ride and although i was disheartened i didn't push her, she now shows happily in young handler classes without any stress or pressure from us, i feel glad that we didnt become pushy parents!!

[poniesrus]

Trouble is, some of these 'control freaks' really cannot understand how some of us parents allow our children to do it entirely for the enjoyment of pony and rider. They can get really stroppy if you go with that attitude and then get a rosette higher than them !

My girls (all 3 of them) all went in to ponies at their own time/speed, none of them were pushed in to ponies just because I'd always had horses. If one of them didn't want to ride, then that was fine. In fact our middle daughter didn't show proper interest until she was nearly 5 and is now the most commited of the 3 of them. When we go to a show it is entirely for the girls to enjoy the experience ... but we have come up against fellow competitors who really don't like that and struggle to accept it.

I think the problem lays sometimes with the parents having to live THEIR dreams and missed opportunities through their children's eyes. Hence where this horrendous pressure on the kids to do well comes from. They want the children to achieve what they didn't ! Tis such a shame as I've seen many a child soured by those types of pressurised situations.

I'd much rather let my girls make the decision on which shows they fancy doing and what discipline they opt for .... currently they are in to their XC riding !!

[katealice89]

My niece and I make up a lead rein pair and she is one of those kids who must find it hard to smile whilst concentration , she is always begging to go showing but when she gets in the ring the concentration scowl comes out and we have even been called miserable by some judges ... she isnt she is just trying to ride her best! I do everything to try and make her smile whisper silly songs as we walk around say silly comments but nope nothing .... get her back in the line up where she relaxes i get a hug and a high 5 and if she is placed a big kiss! So i dread to think that people watching must think im forcing her into it !!! The one time we have had to bride her to get back on was to go into a championship last weekend ... it was wet and freezing and she just wanted to go home ... with alittle help of a promised choco pancake she went back in and took the qualification card away she came out squeeling with happiness so not too bad

[kelliwic]

completely agree with poniesrus, they must do it in their own time and enjoy it with no pressure!!

[bud86]

Just thought I'd let you all know we came 6th out of 19!!!! Our score sheet was 73, 1st place was 81!
We were about the only ones not in matching outfits LOL! Aliyah smiled the WHOLE time! The pony was a superstar! He took everything in his stride!
Very proud Mummy! xxx

[hatman]

Well done you must be so proud xxx

[amumwithapony]

Bud86 you are right to be proud.

I don't have a matching L/R mummy/jockey outfit. Daughter has a smart jacket and all the right stuff. I have a charity shop special with a 'proper' L/R mummy hat.

We have done 1 show. Daughter loved it but is as happy doing in hand classes as what she is L/R. So we dont push her. We ask her when she wants to ride, and unless its a schooling/fitness issue she only rides when she wants but she has to come to yard at least 4 times a week, if only to brush her ponies.

A friend of ours put her daughter off for life by forcing ponies down her throat from a very early age. And went straight off into the world of HOYS qualifiers whether the little girl wanted to or not (which she didnt). The daughter now doesnt ride at all and wouldn't want to if you paid her. My little one may not want to ride every day but she's only 6. She will either 'grow out of ponies' as she gets older and by forcing her to ride it will only speed up the process, or get more horsey.

Either way its her choice. I won't live my horsey dreams through her and she won't have everything given to her on a plate. And if she gets fed up her I can always loose a stone or so (or maybe more ;D) and ride her ponies myself. Can get my sister to lead me and have matchy matchy outfits and pigtails

[jamese]

Jun 8, 2011 18:39:33 GMT bud86 said:

In this last week, 3 times I have had comments about my pony... 'He's our only stiff competition' ......
He hasn;t won and gone champion at any shows! Last weekend we got 1st and res champ.

Hey Sophie,
Sorry I was one of the people to make that comment, it was just meant as a compliment, I am not a parent I have just been asked to lead my friends daughter, because she doesn't like showing but her daughter does.
Em x

[magpie]

Hey Soph, congrats, (and i think your outfits are pretty matching!) As Em says, take it as a compliment, you have truly upped your game this year and Aliyah clearly loves it and so does Gimley See you soon xxx

[nici]

When we did LR it was definitely for Cerys - and she loved it. But we kept to local shows and did LR handy pony, LR jumping (when we could find it), the odd LR gymkhana (again when we could find it) as well as LR showing. Apart from the odd championship show with huge classes, generally we were in classes of no more than a dozen, more often half a dozen. So no waiting for hours in the lineup for 30-40 ponies doing their shows.

Cerys used to ride the whole time with a big beaming smile on her face, and in the line up we would sing songs and she'd dance on her pony

Most importantly (in my view) when she decided she was ready to go solo, I let her (obviously knowing she had a pony who would look after her). She was only 5 when she decided she didn't want to do LR classes any more, and I know that is pretty young. Her first year in FR classes wasn't terribly successful - it took her the whole season to learn her show, bless her! But she had the time of her life doing it, and said it was far more fun on her own and being able to canter than being stuck with me jogging along at the end of the LR.

IMO far too many mums keep the kids on the LR when they're perfectly capable of riding solo and have a FR pony available, because they get more rosettes on the LR than they would in FR classes. And I know several kids who have got bored of the whole thing by the time they're 9 and still doing LR classes, when at home they're galloping and jumping

Every child is different, every pony is different, and they're all ready to move on at different times. But mums - when your child is ready to go solo, don't keep them tied to your LR outfit any longer! Let them go and play and have fun - and yes, give them plenty of time at local shows to make their mistakes and learn their show at £5-£6 per class without the pressure of getting it right at a £35 qualifier!!!

In Cerys's last LR season she and her pony wiped the board at our local RC, winning LR showing, LR equitation, LR handy pony. In her first solo season she came nowhere, but she had loads of fun trying. Isn't that what it should be about...?

[aimeelew]

i used to do LR with my mum and my sec b.. nothin ever serious-just a laugh! we used to do quite well (nothin county just little local shows) as it was made enjoyable by my mum,, who wasnt a pushy mum unlike many parents that you see who are in it, quite obviously for themselves. I think because of this I stayed in horses until 2 years ago.. and would definatly have my future children having ponies!

[5874julie]

they are all different .......... my older daughter really enjoyed the whole dressing up lead rein thing, my younger one couldn't stand lead rein showing. i remember standing first in the line up at a local show, when the gymkhana started up over the other side of the show field, and my daughter started clamouring to be able to leave the ring and do the bending! i was only to happy to hang up my lead rein outfit, i always felt faintly ridiculous in it. and younger daughter's attitude was always that she would rather try on her own and be last than go on the lead rein and be first.

[glanvrynwylisa98]

My mum and I used to have a right old chat as we did our LR show! We just did it to keep our minds off the pressure of the show ring. But one thing I must say, whenever I smiled at one of the other little girls in the ring, I used to get the most horrible looks ever off of them! I must say, that did drive me to riding gorgeously and winning

[Ziggy]

Oh muggley I was nearly in tears reading your post, how a mother could treat her child like that is beyond me!!!!

[showing4life]

This isn't a leadrein story but is about pushy parents in showing.


At a show I was at last Saturday the workers course was huge! It was well overheight. The 143's were jumping 1.10m and the 153's were put up to 1.20m. They had lots of complaints but the course builders refused to put the jumps down, saying they were building the course to english standard and the season is at full swing so the ponies should be well capable of jumping it.

My mum and the usual mums of competitors in our class hadn't a rulebook so could not demand the jumps to be put down as we weren't completly sure of the maximum height for 153's.
We later found out that jumps should not exceed 1.05 m for 15 handers.
I recently became a bit of a nervous jumper when my pony began putting in stops (because I wasn't riding foward enough!) and had only regained my confidence recently. I was having second thaught about jumping the course. There is a boy in my class, on a stunning pony that wins every week. Mum was talking to his mum and she wasn't letting him go in. She said it would be over facing them as it was only their first season together. My mum said it was completley up to me weather I went in or not and she could understand if I didn't want to. I decided to go in just for the experience. Because I was having doubts I had a stop at the 2nd fence, missed a really tight turn to a fence and then I completly lost my balance jumping down the triple so it was impossible for my pony to jump out bless him. We ended up getting elimanated. I was actually kind of proud of myself and my pony because we'd jumped most of the 15 jumps and the height wasn't a problem. It was a really technical course. Mum was so proud of me for giving it a go and shesaid the experience I would have gained from jumping an extreamly difficult course like that was priceless.

We then went in and won the preformance wh reserve champion. We had won that class earlier that day. The jumps were at a meter.

Last night mum got a call from a good friend of ours who was judging on the day. She told my mum she should never let me jump higher than a meter as it was our confort height and she saw us make a mess of the workers. Mum told her that the height wasn't a problem as we cleared every fence easily and it was just an extreamly technical course and that she gave me the choice to jump it or not and I wanted to jump it. The judge then told mum that it is a mothers job to say no and that mothers have to put their foot down and say no sometimes. Mum didn't agree or dissagree because this woman is the type that never backs down so its easier just to go along with what she's saying.

In my workers class that day there were 4 withdrawals so only 5 went into jump. 2 were elimanated (myself included ) and one clear round. The clear round was by a 19 year old girl, who had so much more experience than the rest of us.

ALSO the course did not go up in height for the intermediates!! They jumped the same track as the 15 handers!

[harvestmoon]

I take two of my children lead rein showing and they always love it! In fact they often scrap about who is going to ride (only one suitable pony currently!) We only do local level at the moment, sometimes we do well, sometimes not but i do hate seeing the kids that are made to sit on their ponies when they don't want to. My two are only 6 and 5 but i have trouble to get them to stop laughing when they're doing their rising trot! My 5yr old did get asked by a judge once when she wasn't placed whether she was ok with the rosette she got (she thought she wasn't happy with the colour) and small child just says "Oh yes, I'm fine I'm just concentrating because i need a wee and my pony doesn't like me having accidents :-D ) I almost died!

One thing i did love seeing in a ride and run jumping class once was a small child of about 6 refusing to run, throwing her gloves on the floor and shouting to her mum "You run over the jumps if you're that bothered i told you earlier I don't want to ride or go to shows anymore!!!!" you'd have though the mum would have got the message but no, she runs over grabs child and forcibly makes her run over the 12" high jumps. :-(

I don't push any of my children and they are free to ride or not ride but i expect a little commitment if they do ride. Can't be too bad as my 9yr old who has never shown any interest before has started asking me to teach him. I admit i do love seeing my ponies do well with little jockeys/handlers too though but if my own children didn't want to do it i would offer the rides to children who did/do.

[solitaire]

None of my children where really interested with ponies although all learnt to ride - then i had grand-children and the oldest one loved ponies from the age of about 18mths she would come and put hay in nets and sit on the ponies - we now have a lead rein and my other grand-daughter who is 4 suddenly decided she did like ponies after nearly 4 years of being scared of them so now i have 2 little jockies and lovely on loan section a pony and am just about to start the lead rein bit but for me i can't wait till they can do fr as don't enjoy the lead rein bit however if they decide they don't want to to it the pony will go back and i will go back to showing my section d's being grateful that for a while they made my dream of having children that wanted to do showing - they will be doing local this year apart from going to SWPA show and then next year Equifest when the oldest is nearly 7 but no pressure at all for them as i believe they should enjoy it or not do it at all

[Twiggy]

surely its okay for it to be a combination of both parent and child? Parents get to go into the ring and enjoy the product of their hard work (because 6 year old children hardly set a pony up single handedly) And the kiddies have a fun time too riding around the ring, often quite oblivious to the prestige of the show. I don't see an issue with that???

I suppose there are exceptions where parents go so far and the children don't want to ride, which isn't fair, but thats just a pushy parent issue really.

I would sum up a lr class as a chance for a child to sit on a pony in the ring totally at ease without responsibility, only concentrating on themselves. The skill is on the leaders behalf, so therefore why not get into it and get competitive?!

[bud86]

Twiggy, I have put a hell of a lot of effort in to it. BUT only for my daughters sake lol. I dont want to be paying to prance around a ring in a skirt whilst pregnant! My daughter adores it so I do it and put on a brave face!
Its the pushy parents (who half of them pay someone else to do it) who make the kids do it, teach the kids that only 1st place is good enough!
My daughter comes out smiling no matter what. I would never teach her to be a bad loser.
If you're pony wasn't winning everything would you loan a top class one??
I know I wouldn't, I'd put more work in to my own.

Quote
I would sum up a lr class as a chance for a child to sit on a pony in the ring totally at ease without responsibility, only concentrating on themselves. The skill is on the leaders behalf, so therefore why not get into it and get competitive?!
Quote
My daughter is only 6 and has only been riding for a year so she doesn't just sit there looking pretty, she kicks him on, halts him.
But I wouldn't chuck her in a ring without me until she's atleast 8!!!

[sageandonion]

For a large part with affiliated shows, lead rein classes are either for producers to earn a living qualifying mummy's ponies or for mummy herself to walk the designer equine catwalk and one has to be styled accordingly. Mummy tends to be a wannabe but will either never have been on a horse or will have been frightened by one larger than 12h.

Of course, props are essential. You need the very classy pony in full makeup bar false eyelashes. Likewise you need the child, also full make up, no false eyelashes, but that is under consideration. God help either that dare to mess the picture up. If not placed top of the line, one of them needs to go, usually the pony for obvious reasons.

Of course they all say the children love it and they do it for fun