Post by honeybees on Aug 27, 2011 10:10:10 GMT
You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
___________________________
Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff
______________________________
Men are like......
.....placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.
.....mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
.....bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
.....government bonds
they take so long to mature.
.....copiers
you need them in reproduction but that's about it.
.....lava lamps
fun to look at it but not all that bright.
.....bank accounts
without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
.....high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
.....curling irons
they're always hot and always in your hair.
.....mini skirts
if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.
.....handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
_____________________________
Things not to put in a card!
"You look great for your age....
...Almost Lifelike!"
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
...Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."
______________________________
:: Anagrams ::
"Desperation" - A Rope Ends It
"The Morse Code" - Here Come Dots
"Mother-in-law" - Woman Hitler
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Anagram:
"A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
___________________________
Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff
______________________________
Men are like......
.....placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.
.....mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
.....bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
.....government bonds
they take so long to mature.
.....copiers
you need them in reproduction but that's about it.
.....lava lamps
fun to look at it but not all that bright.
.....bank accounts
without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
.....high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
.....curling irons
they're always hot and always in your hair.
.....mini skirts
if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.
.....handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
_____________________________
Things not to put in a card!
"You look great for your age....
...Almost Lifelike!"
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
...Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."
______________________________
:: Anagrams ::
"Desperation" - A Rope Ends It
"The Morse Code" - Here Come Dots
"Mother-in-law" - Woman Hitler
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Anagram:
"A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"