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Post by Scared :( on Nov 24, 2014 20:14:02 GMT
Hi I have totally lost my confidence on my lovely boy. Iv only had him for about 3 months he is a TB. Its really bizarre as he obviously picks up on my thought process. Bloody bright TB's! How on earth do you stop thinking 'What if's ' Creating negative scenarios in your mind of accidents, spooking, shying at traffic etc Which is what he has started to do out hacking. He is only doing what I am thinking, poor boy So I have decided to stay in the school until I start to feel safe and confident again. BUT my question is How do you stop running those negative videos in your mind? I am 40 and at my age I just keep thinking of dangerous scenarios that could possibly happen which he is obviously picking up on. Anyone else been through this god d**n frustrating feeling?? And will it ever end? Is there hope for me ha ha xx
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Post by brindlerainbow on Nov 24, 2014 20:55:25 GMT
I used to be brave until I had a bad accident. If I could have got back on straight away I probably would have been ok but due to a buggered up leg I couldn't ride for some time. I thought I was fine until I got back on a pony ( not the one I had the accident with ) and I then realised that I had lost my nerve . I persevered for a out 18 months with my lovely safe cob but I was forever thinking he was going to spook at something, whip round, bolt, leap, buck etc Although he never did any of those things I just didn't enjoy riding anymore so made the decision to give up and to just have in hand ponies. I have ridden a few times since on friends horses and although I enjoyed it I didn't particularly want to ride the horses again even though I was offered them. I do sometimes get the urge to ride and i've just started hopping up onto my 5 yr old Welsh B. I have owned her since she was 4 months old so we know each other well. I would certainly not want to ride a TB now even though I owned 1 for years and she was my horse of a lifetime although if I could have her again ( no chance as she's dead!! ) I wouldn't hesitate as we had a very strong bond. I would say see how you go with your horse it maybe that you would be better with a quieter cob or native type. Is there a steadier horse you could borrow for a while to give you back some confidence ? maybe if you could hack out on a quieter one with someone else riding yours just so that you can see him in action and realise that there isn't anything to worry about. Good luck!!
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Post by rumble on Nov 24, 2014 21:00:58 GMT
This is my pony 13.3 connie, I was on verge of giving up then I found silver! I go out most weekends now with Cheshirebloodhounds and love it xx Attachments:
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sarahp
Happy to help
Posts: 9,510
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Post by sarahp on Nov 25, 2014 8:17:11 GMT
I've had a couple of home bred Ds who were quiet, totally safe and unflappable. One had a couple of loan homes, then came back to me again and was looking for another - never for sale as he was stiff in the stifles. By word of mouth a lady came to see him who had started to ride late, then bought the wrong horse who ruined her confidence. She told me before she came she probably wouldn't even dare to ride him, fine I said, just come and meet him. She came, saw, rode him, was conquered and has now had him on loan for some years. To start with it was baby steps - a short walk round the block, but they went onwards and upwards together. She wanted to ride, just needed the right horse!
Likewise my daughterwhen young had a pony who took to bucking her off at frequent intervals - changed the pony and she started to fly. It's all about riding something you trust.
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Post by deucoch on Nov 26, 2014 11:02:20 GMT
I can totally sympathise. I really miss riding, but, my bottle has totally gone now. Due to a Combination of things, i had a bad fall off a youngster and hurt my back and it affected me more than i thought and i didn't trust anything the same. I then i developed osteoarthiritis in my hip (at the age of 25) though i carried on riding through the pain until i couldn't any more, in 2013 i finally had the hip replaced. But now i feel i can't risk it! I still have ponies that i show inhand, but do sometimes think how nice it would be to go out for a plod!
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sarahp
Happy to help
Posts: 9,510
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Post by sarahp on Nov 26, 2014 11:32:49 GMT
It's the hacking in beautiful surroundings (yes, we do have them in Surrey, wonderful commons) I miss most, and I no longer go (or not very often) to watch dressage training at the TTTT near us because it upsets me too much not to be able to go and try to put into practise what I have seen taught there by international masters of their art. Not a confidence issue in my case, just old age and arthritis.
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Post by flee on Nov 26, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
Google Jane Savoie , brilliant books/coaching on sports psychology and positive thinking techniques for riders .
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Post by maxandpaddy on Nov 26, 2014 19:50:31 GMT
Sing, I know it sounds daft but thats what got me going again. I was nervous after nearly 15 years out of the saddle so I sang all the way round a hack. It helped, as I focused on the words and relaxed a bit more and the horses actually enjoy it
My voice is blooming awful, I sound like a strangled chicken but they dont mind that!
Best of luck xx
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Post by switchblade82 on Nov 26, 2014 20:21:46 GMT
3 months really is not long especially if you have lost your confidence. What did your horse do before you brought him? Are you settled on your yard? Try to find a person to join and ride out together. At least you are using the school and riding and not given up completely!! Use the winter to build a bond with him...these things take time and many of us have been in your shoes at some point.
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Post by Scared :( on Nov 26, 2014 20:55:13 GMT
Thank you everyone Thank you Flee Jane Savoie is really good but I do find her voice rather irritating! haha I have had a lesson today with a ride with your mind coach (Mary Wanless coach) and WOW what a relief it was to hear that so many people feel the same as me. Baby steps and to not go anywhere near a road until my thought process has changed and that me and my boy are connected in mind and body. He is super sensitive and you only have to think and he picks it up, which is no good for me as I over think far to much as it is in life I don't want to give up riding im not ready yet and it would really upset me to do so. So positive mental attitude from now on Thank you once again for being understanding when I was in such a dilemma x
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