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Post by Need advice on Aug 10, 2019 16:57:57 GMT
My grand daughter age 12, has a pony, we have had her for 7 months. I put on a post about her napping earlier in the year. This is now resolved. However, to be completely honest, and obviously I love the child to bits, but she is a completely hopeless rider! She seems to perch on the saddle and bounce about, and when jumping, instead of folding she just flies in the air. She just doesn't seem to be a natural, and despite me spending hundreds, if not more, on weekly lessons,over the years, plus sj and workers lessons, she never seems to improve. Her balance is terrible, especially over jumps, and she isn't confident, understandably, so the pony is now taking the mick and stopping or running out. This is knocking her confidence even more. There are 7 year olds at our pc who regularly knock spots off her in all the classes, and her best friend is really brave and wins a lot. I know it's not about winning so much, but it would be nice to just think she could hold her own. I've asked if she really enjoys it, and she insists that she wants to carry on, but it's getting to the stage where I feel like she's ruining the pony and I sometimes can't bear to watch! I sound really horrible, and of course I give her every encouragement. She likes going to pony club and wouldn't like to be a happy hacker. Do you think I'm wasting my time hoping for an improvement, when she is so ineffectual,or is it time to take up knitting instead? Not her fault, I know, but I'm concerned about the pony now. Please don't judge me harshly, I would never say any of this to her, but when I see the tears as it all goes wrong again, I wonder if it's the right sport for her.
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Post by Humm on Aug 14, 2019 10:06:22 GMT
Well your a lovely "grandmother" aren't you! Ffs give your daughter some credit and stop criticising her. Yes she might not be as good as her friends so bloody what!! She is enjoying herself, live the kid alone. I hope she never reads this because I'm sure reading this she will know it's about her. I know kids when they was her age who wasn't very good riders and terrible with their ponies, when I said terrible I mean kids that bullied their ponies, whipping them for the least thing!! I have recently come across one of those kids now all grown up and a totally different person. Fab rider, riding for other people, respectful with horses and horses love her. So give the poor girl a chance.
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Post by Pert on Aug 15, 2019 18:45:55 GMT
I think if she enjoys riding live and let live. There are worse things she could be doing with her time.
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Post by Pert on Aug 15, 2019 18:46:16 GMT
I think if she enjoys riding live and let live. There are worse things she could be doing with her time.
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Post by ponymum on Aug 16, 2019 8:39:22 GMT
All children develop and learn at a different rate, so comparing your grand daughter to others at pc isn't going to get you anywhere. If you are concerned the pony is taking advantage , perhaps you need a patent safe been there and done it pony? That would take the pressure off your Grand daughter and you will see her progress more.
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Post by Need advice on Aug 17, 2019 12:36:15 GMT
I'm quite sad that my post has been misconstrued, I'm not the awful ambitious grandmother that people seem to think. I love my grand daughter dearly. We travelled the length and breadth of the country trying to find the right pony for her, and spent quite a lot of money. My pony is the most lovely, gentle and safe mare I have ever had. However, as the child does not have very good balance or a deep seat, she resorts to kicking all the time, and this has resulted in the pony becoming dead to the leg. She is a naturally laid back pony, now the gd is saying she's too lazy and getting frustrated. If I put her on something forward going she would be terrified, it's only in her own head she is John Whitaker! No amount of weekly lessons with a highly qualified instructor, or fortnightly rallies seem to make a difference to her riding. She is her own worst critic, I never criticise her to her face, but she constantly finds herself wanting. I'm aware competition is not everything, or even essential, but she wants to do it and then gets upset. What I really want to know is, has anyone else got a child who isn't a natural, and does it eventually come, because she's been having all these lessons now for at least 5 years, and I think my pony is getting fed up now, and starting to take the mick.
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Post by gillwales on Aug 18, 2019 12:30:15 GMT
If you and she are happy for her to enjoy riding at whatever level she has achieved then great, if not and she wants to look for a different activity then support her with that.
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Post by Another oldie on Aug 19, 2019 13:14:55 GMT
I'm quite sad that my post has been misconstrued, I'm not the awful ambitious grandmother that people seem to think. I love my grand daughter dearly. We travelled the length and breadth of the country trying to find the right pony for her, and spent quite a lot of money. My pony is the most lovely, gentle and safe mare I have ever had. However, as the child does not have very good balance or a deep seat, she resorts to kicking all the time, and this has resulted in the pony becoming dead to the leg. She is a naturally laid back pony, now the gd is saying she's too lazy and getting frustrated. If I put her on something forward going she would be terrified, it's only in her own head she is John Whitaker! No amount of weekly lessons with a highly qualified instructor, or fortnightly rallies seem to make a difference to her riding. She is her own worst critic, I never criticise her to her face, but she constantly finds herself wanting. I'm aware competition is not everything, or even essential, but she wants to do it and then gets upset. What I really want to know is, has anyone else got a child who isn't a natural, and does it eventually come, because she's been having all these lessons now for at least 5 years, and I think my pony is getting fed up now, and starting to take the mick. I too was sad to see the reaction of some posters to your very honest post, and I recognised that you just want the best for both child and pony. I am sure you are very positive with your grand daughter but recognise that no we cannot all be a Whittaker and it is hard to watch a loved one become disheartened. Would your grand daughter not like to try some showing or gymkhana games? There is so much pressure on youngsters to show jump, but she sounds like my own daughter who was also not really brave enough to show jump, but loved showing once she got into it. She needs to enjoy herself, and you can do that with more comfortable classes, even something like a tack and turnout.
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Post by bigmama on Aug 20, 2019 12:52:36 GMT
Ditch the show jumping for now …. practice lots of riding without stirrups, concentrate on walk and then sitting trot .. lots of rounds the worlds, scissors, touching toes whilst sitting in saddle, lie back on pony's back then sit up lean forward and touch pony's ears, knot reins and learn to steer with legs, riding bareback, all the old fashioned stuff we used to do which seems to have mostly gone by the by these days .. do it on the lunge at first if granddaughter not confident and put a neck strap on pony if needed.
As confidence builds, introduce some trotting poles but no jumps until they are begging to jump, then you will know they are ready.
Give her time, she will improve. All children learn at a different rate. Don't worry about the other kids and how successful they are. Praise your granddaughter lots for her accomplishments, however small they may seem to you, they will be big to your little one and the more confident she becomes, the more she will progress AND the pony will enjoy doing something different and will hopefully grow in confidence too and bond more with your girl as they have fun.
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Post by Need advice on Aug 23, 2019 17:44:43 GMT
Thank you to the people who have been kind and positive. We will persevere!
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Post by sjw87 on Aug 24, 2019 7:51:24 GMT
Do any other family members have a horse/pony to go out hacking with her? I know you say she doesn't want to be a 'happy hacker' but hacking and pony club/competing are not mutually exclusive.
Often, hacking out (ideally off road) can build no end of confidence and balance. The pony would likely enjoy it more too.
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sarahp
Happy to help
Posts: 9,510
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Post by sarahp on Aug 26, 2019 7:31:51 GMT
I'm very much with bigmama on this, although I'm not sure on how modern H & S stands with some of it. Can you ask a riding friend of hers over, with or without his/her own pony, to just mess about with no intervention? When my daughter was learning the four in the "class" with the instructor used to have to ride with knotted reins just using legs and seat to guide the pony and do transitions - in a safe space, needless to say, which should help with the kicking. Hacking - yes of course. Beach rides? Even if you only walk. As for dead to the leg - suggest that she does a gentle aid, if no response then a "PC kick", if still no response a schooling whip. The pony will soon relearn, and hopefully your granddaughter will get the point. As another thought - would a change of instructor help? It can make a huge difference. When my daughter started going to PC on her first off lead pony an instructor change was forced on us as the previous one taught (very well!) only on her own ponies, so I watched the instructors she had at PC to see which worked best for my daughter - they're all individuals, with different styles of teaching and learning, both children and trainers. The degree of qualification is not always the most relevant thing here, but the relationship between the two, it sounds as if you ned an upbeat, encouraging one. Another avenue in finding one, apart of course from talking to other parents and horsey friends, could be your local RC - ours is very good with the younger members, and your granddaughter at 12 is not a small child any more. They hold clinics with various different trainers, which is where we found our last one, too late in the day for me sadly but she managed to change my daughter's (by then an adult) opinion of dressage from being the boring stuff you have to do to event, to being interesting and enjoyable in its own right. Good luck!
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Post by Pony first on Sept 8, 2019 7:32:57 GMT
First of all how refreshing that someone is concerned about the pony before the child. A sentient being who didn't ask to be booted about. I had a sister the same and she was prevented from.riding my ponies. She doesn't ride any more and thank goodness for that. If a child cannot ride with empathy, they should not ride. Whip happy, PC kickers do not deserve to be on the backs of ponies.
By all means continue, but make it clear that she is to treat the pony with respect. Take time out of PC and go to the beach, fast hacks etc.
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