Partner's Ex's

[lips36]

I am so p****** off with my partner's ex, last week last wed she stopped him from seeing his 6 yr old daughter, so he did the stupid thing by going round there and giving her a few home truth's.
He knows he was wrong for doing it but has been on going her calling all the shots and us only having the daughter when she wants or its more convenient to her ie if she is going out or is her new partner has not got his children.
Then she sent my OH a text saying he could see his daughter but supervised visit by her in her house. this is when i said you need to go to see a solicitor.
So now he has been she is totally in the wrong in the eyes of the law. The solicitor has quoted if it goes to court at least £700.
plus he pays her £50 a week and she had the cheek to ask for more money because she is moving in with the new BF(who she has only been seeing 3 months). and she is going to lose all her benefit's ie tax credits.

ohhh its so frustrating i try to keep out of it. but good do i feel like telling her cos now its interfering with me all that money just because she is being awkward.
I personally think its because she wants my ex out of the way so they can have there perfect little family unit.

i feel bit better now after getting it out :~))

[welsha]

im on the other side of one of these situations in that after 2 years of my ex messing with my childrens heads with his intermittent contact etc etc to the point it was making my daughter ill with worry, I stopped contact to force his hand into taking it to court as I knew that would mean I would get some structure.

We are still going through the court process, second hearing today but we are both representing ourselves, have to as the divorce took all my money, so the child contact hearings cost us nothing except my ex who had to pay the initial fee to take it to court. There is very little paperwork and the courts are used to people representing themselves. Your partner must make sure he makes his point and knows exactly what he wants but be prepared to compromise. The court will do what is in the benefit of the children, not your partner, his ex or anyone else.

I think in your situation going to court, or threatening to do so is the only option if they cant come to some arrangement. They will both however have to be prepared that neither will get what they want and there will have to be compromises on both sides.

He is the little girl's father and I think you have to accept that he has to pay for her. £50 a week goes nowhere towards bringing up a child, tax credits or no tax credits.

[lips36]

welsha i know exactly where you are coming from as like yourself, my sons father never payed a penny even when csa were chasing him for money, and like yourself he messed with my lads head and choose his new partner over his son, i know £50 a week isnt alot but thats not where it stops also she went to csa and they calculated my OH wages and they there outcome was that he pay £35 a week. she changed her mind then when she relised my OH was paying more, we buy all the school uniform and give her mum a clothing allouance quartly, i personally would have been happy with my ex doing 1 of thos things for me and my s my son is 19 and at uni all on my doing.
I feel my OH is doing more than his fare share with and unlike your case all he wants is contact and to see his little girl and provide for which he will do he would not stop providing in no way did i mean that as i know what it is to be a single mum working full time with no help, so i can assure you i would not let my OH be the same.

Ps this has been going on like this for 6 yrs.

[poop]

contact fathers for justice - they can help you get a legal advocate - I cant remember the term (its a something friend?) who can assist with applications to the family courts - you dont Have to use a solicitor.
Not all fathers are bad and not all mothers are good, some like to use their children as bargaining chips for monetary gain or to inflict maximum emotional pain on the other party with no regard for the childs feelings. There is no excuse for not allowing regular unsupervised contact unless she can prove that he is violent and unable to appropriately care for his daughter when she is with him.