Seperation Anxiety

[tori1992]

Has anyone ever come across their horses with this... I believe the mare im full loaning has it.. She does not like to do anything on her own?! .. Last year i could take her out for walks on her own and she would be fine but latley she will not leave the yard on her own or it is with great difficulty that she does... Ive tried riding her out and she wont go out the gate, ive tried long reining her out and she wont go out the gate but usually she is fine when leading her but she was stubborn at the weekend when i took her out.. It took us about 30min-45min to do what would usually take us about 20 mins....
She can be a very stubborn mare... I have tried ground work with her previously and tried to create a bond but she's having none of it... ... She's fine when she's with my friends pony but how can i get her out on her own...
Has anyone else come across this??
Any help appreciated???

Thanks

[tbmare]

sounds more like you mare is napping...sometimes it can be because the rider maybe not confident enough and therefor the mare prefers company for a leader.
Mare do tend to be more nappy than gelds but you can over come this by being more firmer or get someone else to ride her that is more confident and knows how to get your mare moving.
Hope this helps in some way.

[tori1992]

No dont think its napping because she doesnt like doing anything without this other pony... She doesnt like traveling on her own,, being in the walker on her own,, being in the school on her own... She hates being on her own.. Its like when my friends pony is there everythings oki... She's only 4 so not doing much riding with her.. xx

[elmere]

How do you try to get her out of the yard when she doesnt want to and what does she do?

[tori1992]

She just plants her feet and spins her arse round at you.... She's not as bad when your leading her but she's begging to become more and more hard work.. I took her for a walk the other day and she tried multiple times to decide when she was going home... She's a big girl now so its getting difficult when she starts throwing her weight round as she's rather handy with her back legs... But when worst comes to worst and she REALLY wont go then someone leads her out (defeating the object!) x

[elmere]

Well tbh it just sounds like shes taking the mickey out of you, she needs really telling, if you hit her enough times with a whip and mean it then she will go. If your confidence isnt up to this then I would advise someone else getting on her as she will only get worse.

[sageandonion]

Do you have a riding instructor? and is she out with the pony she clings to? If she is, then is it possible to separate them so that she becomes less reliant.

Don't worry if you need help with someone leading her, that is ok.

Beating her into submission is not ok.

[armada]

I've had this in varying degrees with young ponies, it is often a confidence issue, but it sounds like she may now be making the ground rules and you have to regain your place and quickly.
I use the rope a lot to get them moving forward on the ground, either batting my leg with it or flailing the long end around behind me, they can see it quite clearly, and it encourages them to move forward without it hitting them, although on occasion, I have flicked it on the flank.
I back everything up with a strong and clear voice command.
My lungw whip has a screwed up plastic bag on the end, and is used as a guide and gets flicked behind them in the eye line if they think they are going to turn in or change direction whilst lunging.
On board, I usually have two dressage sticks with screwed up plastic bags on if they nap or spin, again, when you feel its going to happen, leg on, and move the sticks as you would to back up the leg, they see the movement of the bag, and it encourages them forward.
You can use your reins to flick over the wither for the same effect, but I personally prefer the bag on the stick.
I did lay the stick on one a few weeks ago, but her napping came totally out of the blue, and I was not going back down the drive, putting her in the box, and getting my bag stick out - pony 1 - me - 0,so I dealt with it there and then, as she's had time off due to the snow, when we go up the drive again, I will have the two 'nappy sticks' with me.
Personally, I'd get her away from the pony she is clinging to, we had one arrive with seemingly seperation issues a few years ago, and she went out on rotation with everyone, and although the first year was tough - travelling was a nightmare, especially if she had to stand on the trailer alone, we got there, got her out, did the class, the ramp went up and the car was started, but now, she will stand on the trailer quite happily, and we can swop and change others on the lorry and she is calm as anything on her own, same in the arena or on the walker, but its taken a long time.

[FF]

I would be keeping her an dfriend in seperate fields and continue to take her out on her own until she does it with confidence. If she refuses to go then walk her on foot to a certain point and then get back on, keep doing it everyday and and shorten the point you get on each day till your riding her put the gate. She is young so you need to get a grip of this now before it's too late. Your the leader not her and you say where your going and who with NOT her.

[Deleted]

I have four mares. They do suffer hugely from seperation anxiety BUT it really is more of a tantrum, when they say NO, than being so upset that they cant leave their friends.

The thing about mares is, you have to be top mare - but in a non bullying - non confrontational way.

They are perfectly capable of leaving their friends, but would prefer not to. If u are top mare, leader of the herd, your mare will do as you ask and leave her friends, as she trusts you to look after her xx

[GinaGeo]

I'd look into a control/pressure halter of some description and learn/be taught to use it correctly. As you're on the ground you really need more control than a standard headcollar will give you. A pressure halter, allows for precise communication between you and your horse in an understandable way

I'd agree it's nappiness and will lead to problems later on if you don't nip it in the bud now.

I'd start off with ground work in an enclosed space. Having her walking up next to your shoulder confidently, without her being dragged. Her understanding all the necessary voice commands; "walk on, stand, back, over...". This will all help to create that bond. You must be consistent with her, always responding in one way to behaviour so as not to confuse her. I'd then lead her out with a helper. You need to make sure these walks are pleasant and fun experiences for her, so she enjoys herself and thus her trust in you will develop.

A pressure halter in my opinion is invaluable once you start leading out. When she's walking next you, hapilly and forwards there should be no pressure on the halter. This means its a "nice place" to be. If she puts the brakes on and roots you stay by her side, don't get in front of her as that will confuse her, gently put the pressure on the halter whilst telling her to "walk on", you will need to gradually increase the pressure. You may need somebody to help you at this stage with a schooling whip or similar to put pressure on from behind. Just a gentle, but irritating, tapping will do the trick. This makes rooting herself to the spot an "unpleasant place" to be. (I normally find the halter and voice alone enough, the stick is just reinforce the meaning if need be, in an understandable way)

As soon as she takes a step forward, no matter how small, you release the pressure on the halter and any pressure from the stick instantly. This is her reward, her return to the "nice place". If you continue doing it, she'll pick it up very quickly and you'll only need the voice command. Tell her how clever she is and make a fuss of her, but keeping moving forwards.

Good luck!

[Karen, garrettponies]

I had call recently to enlist the help of an IH rep as I was at the end of my tether with a pony, didn't matter what I did I just couldn't get through to him and confrontation wasn't an option as it was counterproductive. I am so pleased with the result, its made working with him a pleasure and not a pain.

I learned to use a dually halter and it has made such a massive difference with manners and basic groundwork and getting them to do what you want when you want, I'm now using it on a bolshy 2 yo filly who doesn't like being left and will throw tantrums, it has made a difference to her too as I can do a few minutes work with her away from the others and she concentrates on me and what she is doing and is much more mannerly.

I would separate yours if you can in the field or keep swapping friends where possible so she doesn't have one single attachment.

[tori1992]

Thanks for everyones advice... But i wont be beating her into doing anything... The more you fight with her the more upset she gets... Id rather take it step by step as long as she's happy...
I actually had Clair Richards out last night to look at her back.. Which was infact the problem,, She's not wanting to go forward because she was in a large amount of pain.. Then again once her back is better and she still carries on with this then i think it is more physiological thing as she wont do anything on her own... But only time will tell i guess...

[carrie17491]

My mare is the one she has attached herself to.

We can't separate them due to rules on the yard and even so eventually the mare in question will attach herself to another horse that she is turned out with.

As Tori said, she's been in a lot of pain with her back and until recently this wasn't known.

Hopefully now she will start to progress and we can hack out together!

But no, beating her into doing it isn't an option!!!

[sageandonion]

carrie once better, I think that the little mare should firstly go hacking without her favourite pair bond until she has built up confidence in herself and her rider. Otherwise she will never do anything on her own. Agree the in hand work done correctly with the right instruction is vital as well as ridden schooling work. A well schooled, obedient pony is far more likely to be a well mannered, confident hack listening to the rider.

The mare needs all these things to set her up to succeed.

[tbmare]

Caire has been and treated my horses and ponies.. make sure you do what she says and any follow ups..she recommends..

Let us know ow you get on.. best of luck

[showingfanatic]

I had this with a 3yo filly, she absolutely hated being by herself, she'd screech on the walker and in the school, if i was riding with someone and they left the school, she would attempt to bolt and bronc, anything to not be left by herself. She would also plant her feet and refuse to move, if you argued, she'd have you off. I worked through this by having an instructor on the ground, she was better if she could see someone and stopped calling eventually, if she went to plant, my instructor would back me up by means of a little chasing from the ground, a flick of a lunge line in the direction of her back end usually did it along with a firm vocal command. Same goes for working her on the ground. Once she learnt to respect and trust me (about 6 months down the line) she would happily hack out by herself, with just the occasional napping in new environments where she lacked confidence.

[carrie17491]

Yes I agree s&o, she needs to get it into her head that she can't be in company for the rest of her life!

Tori is working very hard with this mare, she's a hard nut to crack but I think once she gets it into her head that she's okay to go out on her own, she will be fine.

The only thing is we cannot seperate them in the fields but walking out alone is fine...so I personally think that is the route that should be followed, I suggested walking out with the show cane as she knows that there is no messing when this is about haha! She behaves perfectly at shows when she is asked to go it alone, she just doesn't like going off the yard.

BUT we walked the girls out together last night and she was still napping to go home :/

Claire said it could be that she is in pain or it could be the separaton issue, surely not the latter if she was still doing it when in company?

[sageandonion]

Lack of confidence generally which takes in the separation issue. Alternatively, she simply wants her dinner and to get on with horsey life which is much more interesting.

[carrie17491]

I wouldn't have thought it was confidence with her though, she just seems to be like okay I'm bored lets go home....she's a strange one.

She definitely isn't scared when she naps so we can rule that one out and now she has had Claire out, she isn't in immense pain. She is in a routine where she knows that once she is rugged for the night she gets her net and bucket feed so I don't think it would be a food issue.....it's confuzzling!

[GinaGeo]

From what you've said it sounds like the mare would rather be eating, and by putting her foot down and saying "No further" she goes back home quicker. You mentioned that she was no different in company, to me this suggests she's rather taking the pee, as opposed to confidence issues...

Now you've correctly ruled out pain I think its time to put your foot down, and insist that she does as you want her to do. I don't mean you should beat her, or hit her, not at all. But I think this is going to come down to a battle of the wills. You need to make sure you're more stubborn and more patient than she is. You need to make it an easier option for her to do as you want as opposed to what she'd like to do.

I'd be sorely tempted to call in a IH Rep at this point, before the issue escalates. They will give you lots of advice to store in your Horsemanship armoury, for both this issue and for possible future problems. I had one in, to help with my mums horse's severe loading issues. His advice was invaluable, and made perfect sense, it's been very useful in many situations.

[sharina]

my friends mare last spring suddenly out the blue started napping she hadn't had her more than a few months and isn't overly confident the person she was riding with told her the horse is taking the pee give her a bloody good whack. well the mare backed down and they went out galloping around the fields for about an hour came home put the horses away the next morning my friend came down to find a foals head poke out from behind her mare and after birth down her mares legs luckily mare and foal where okay and my friend to this day feels guilty over listening to someone she believed to be an experienced horse owner over her mare who was obviously trying to tell her in her own way that something wasn't right yes sometimes mares can be temperamental but we also should take the time to get to know our horses as well as they know us and learn to listen to them

[seve]

Defo agree with the pressure head collar!! Worked a treat with my horses in the past!! DO NOT AGREE with beating or whipping the horse this will not work they are far stronger than any human!! If you join up with your mare you will be surprised how many day to day tasks become easy!! Good luck

[sarahp]

You do need to know how to use a pressure halter correctly though, you can't just put it on and expect it to work by itself.