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Post by Ziggy on Apr 3, 2012 8:18:26 GMT
I have worked like a slave over the past two years to try to pay off bills etc. Done overtime the lot!! Husband agreed at the begginning of the year to let us look for another pony on loan. Have been struggling to find a pony but now have had the offer of a lovely pony I think would fit the bill but Husband has decided to back track and say we can't really afford a pony!!! He is making me soooo cross. When we had to send our little loan filly back two years ago it broke my heart and we still miss her, nearly packed my bags then!
I work so hard all week, I have got three jobs for goodness sakes, so it is not as if I don't pull my weight. All I have got to do at present at weekends to relax is clean, do washing and run around after children!!! Not very relaxing as you can imagine. He however has got his fishing.
Sorry rant over just very fed up!!!
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Post by brindlerainbow on Apr 3, 2012 8:30:57 GMT
Put your foot down!!!! He has his hobby and fishing isn't cheap!!! If you want a pony and you have 3 jobs then bloody well get 1!!!!! Im assuming the pony is for your children too? Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and can't do/have. You only have 1 life so live it how you want and if that means packing your bags then go for it. Life is far too short for regrets, what if's etc. Do what YOU want to do and don't let your husband dicatet the way your life runs...........
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Post by viking on Apr 3, 2012 8:47:23 GMT
Afraid I wouldn't be dictated to like that.
If you want a pony and you feel, having done the costings, you have time and money to look after all its requirements properly, then go for it.
Life's too short. Good luck.
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Post by PennyP4 on Apr 3, 2012 9:01:30 GMT
^ I second the above!
Life is TO short, just go for it x
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Post by auntiebarb on Apr 3, 2012 9:07:34 GMT
Get a pony, they are far more rewarding than husbands, but don't tell mine I said that.
Equines keep us sane, or out of the way!
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Post by Erinx on Apr 3, 2012 9:22:01 GMT
I disagree here......
Horses are more than just a hobby, if you work 3 jobs do you really have the time for a pony twice a day too?
Could you not look for a part loan? That way you don't have the full time commitment or costs.
Surely you can come to a compromise?
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Post by Ziggy on Apr 3, 2012 9:55:45 GMT
Erinx, I see your point but could work round my three jobs, i have thought of that, as that was one of my husbands arguments, that i don't really have the time. However i know of a very well known show rider who works full-time in London and still does well, admittedly she does have ehlp at home but as would be keeping pony at part livery it would not be a problem.
have looked into part loan but often have found people wanted to charge £25-£30 a week for having the pony for only 2-3 days a week and have found also trying to find a pony on part loan even harder than finding what we are looking for on full loan.
Am going to talk to husband tonight with all costings so we will see.
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Post by desktop on Apr 3, 2012 10:06:29 GMT
Sorry but with 3 jobs, children and a home to run I am not sure how you will have the time, but that aside, your husband has said you cannot afford it, have you sat down together and detailed your incoming and outgoings this will either prove he is right or if he isn't will give you the argument you need to get your horse  If it does prove that you cannot afford one have you thought about volunteering for the RDA or a local riding school, that way you would still get your fix with horses and a release from working/children/housework whilst you continue to save for your own horse  |
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Post by do it on Apr 3, 2012 12:11:53 GMT
Oh Nursey please just do it.
I have more than one job, a stable yard full of ponies and children a home to run and i manage it perfectly well. Part livery, so pony is seen to in a morning i am presuming and lets be honest- how long does it take to muck out, do a haynet, fill a water, groom and ride? If the answer is too long then no, you shouldn't have one. I can muck out my 4, do the haynets and waters in less than 20 minutes per day. How many people here, have horses on full livery due to working very long hours? Nothing wrong with it. There is only so much you can do with one horse in one day anyway.
Right now i feel you are missing out on some serious fun with your daughter and to be honest your husband needs to get a grip - if 3 jobs cannot afford one pony something is seriously wrong. Tell him straight, tell him how you feel. You won't get these years back with your child.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 13:04:54 GMT
Go for it Nursery, do your costings to make sure.... I've changed my hubby 3 times but never my ponies!!!!!
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Post by Ziggy on Apr 3, 2012 13:42:25 GMT
do it and Cayberry thank you for your kind encouraging words!! have done costings now. reckon it would cost me £200-£250 a month for pony. i feel my evening job would pay for that, lets see if my husband agrees! Time would NEVER be a problem. I have doen it before, getting up at 5am etc and could easily do it agian. However can't find pony at present anyway!
Only thing that possibly does put me off is if we do get one then he says it has to go back after a while, my daughter and I could NOT go through that again.
Tried before to volunteer at RDA, waiting list as long as two arms and It is a showing fix i need not just being aroudn horsey's fix.
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Post by brindlerainbow on Apr 3, 2012 14:17:22 GMT
Nursey you must be more positive!!! NEVER think that your husband can tell you what to do!!! It just doesn't happen!! When, not if, you get a pony the only person to make the decision as to whether it goes back is YOU, NOT your husband.What would happen if you told him to sell his fishing equipment ? Exactly nothing is what!!! Your husband sounds like a complete control freak but you need to be strong and don't let yourself be controlled. Women are the stronger sex and you must stand up to your husband. Look forward to hearing about your new pony when you get it in the very near future |
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Post by rubydoo on Apr 3, 2012 14:30:04 GMT
if you feel that you can afford it and do have the time i would just go ahead , you deserve some YOU time doing something you enjoy ,and it is only a loan, you could try and see how it works.
i have 3 kids and 2 ponies my hubby works his ass off too pay for them and the added bits and bobs we need/want . its a great way to spend fun time with the kids and relax a bit.
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Post by Erinx on Apr 3, 2012 15:00:39 GMT
Well only you will know if it will fit into your day to day life, so aslong as your confortable with it then that's not an issue. While you are looking for a horse why don't you save the money (put it in an account so you won't spend it) and that way you can prove you can afford it.  |
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Post by fanfarefan on Apr 3, 2012 15:40:32 GMT
Go for it nursery , ask you husband if he would like to come and look at a pony with you , if he declines , just go anyway , he will probably moan about you going , but just tell him you are only going to look , take the kids , who will then talk non stop about a new pony , and he will be out numbered ,and at the end of the day , its your time , your money , and their both your kids , who he can give up a bit of fishing to help you look after, im sure you will be able to use a bit of reverse psychology to win him round , women can be very devious creatures when pushed
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Post by dimwit on Apr 3, 2012 15:53:54 GMT
Nursery ask your hubby how much it costs him to fish : Bait, fishing licence, rods, reels, poles and a fishing box etc that is a very expensive hobby i know i use to fund my son. You work and work and work surely you and your daughter should have the pleasure to spend it and have happy days. Ask your hubby to get a second job, my OH would have no chance ponies 1st OH last simple. Good luck and i hope all works out for you xxx
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Post by do it on Apr 3, 2012 17:52:07 GMT
Good luck Nursey  I really hope you do it, we all take a risk when we have ponies that some day they may have to go, be it for health or finance reasons or whatever, just please don't have any regrets xx |
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Post by kelliwic on Apr 3, 2012 19:05:33 GMT
Do what I did, buy it and put it in the field at that point they'll throw a wobble for a bit then realise they can't do nothing its to late its in the field and eventually give up! I also said I work2 and pay the bills so I can have what i want !! You go for it girl have what you want!!
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Post by Julie(luke3) on Apr 3, 2012 19:06:58 GMT
nursey, when I met my husband, 14yrs ago, he knew that horses were my life! Even if we were completely broke, he would NEVER even ask me to give them up! Go for it x If you know you have the time and the finances, then I don't see what it has to do with him!!! He has his hobby, so why the hell can't you have your's? xxxx  |
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Post by overatdaknee on Apr 3, 2012 19:46:31 GMT
Deep breath Nursey......... and tell him :-)
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Post by unsure on Apr 3, 2012 19:47:33 GMT
I really dont think you can get away with £200 to £250 a month if you are going to show at a decent level, insure pony, livery, products, hard feed, hay, bedding, farrier,supplements, the list goes on.
Please think carefully, its nearly summer now and all seems rosy , will you feel the same when its dark, cold etc, rember if you short of money one week a pony cant just go without.
Maybe your husband is right or just cruel as no father would want to see a child miss out if it was affordable
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Post by unsure on Apr 3, 2012 19:55:22 GMT
I notice in another thread you started today you could help towards entried fees  ? Therefore do you feel you can fully cover full cost of your own pony. Also if your daughter not ready for show ring why not find a pony that someone already taking to shows and may let her do a couple of fun classes, try this for a year and see if she is keen before making the full commitment and then regretting it, dont want to sound harsh for please be very sure. |
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Post by snooperdooper on Apr 3, 2012 20:29:19 GMT
Go for it Nursey!!!
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Post by do it on Apr 3, 2012 20:49:17 GMT
Unsure guest, i think Nursey knows what keeping a pony entails, she has had them in the past- winter and all  I think working 3 jobs a small childs pony is not going to go without the basics! Blimey why are people so intent on getting others to feel down!? |
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Post by unsure on Apr 3, 2012 20:56:56 GMT
Do it, please note i was not trying to get anyone down at all just trying to be realistic and not cause the child any further distress.
Nursey clearly states she had to send a previous pony back, therefore think she should just be ultra careful this time in regard to finances and insuring child does actually want to compete before committing to a pony, we can live our lives through our children, the child has got to want to do it for herself and own enjoyment, nobody elses
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Post by not sure on Apr 3, 2012 20:59:52 GMT
Meant we cant live our lifes through our children
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Post by victoria (highhill) on Apr 3, 2012 21:08:08 GMT
Go for it Nursery, do your costings to make sure.... I've changed my hubby 3 times but never my ponies!!!!! lol |
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Post by beachbum12 on Apr 4, 2012 10:53:25 GMT
If you plan to pay for the keep yourself then I say go for it !! lifes too short not to follow your dreams , and you will manage you just do ! I have 5 horses/ ponies, 2 small children ,work full time running a business, and a house to run ...yes life is hectic life is busy but we get by , I never ask my OH to contribute whatsoever to the horses , they are my hobby so I work to pay for them. As for managing around your work , with some careful planning , routine and organisation you will do fine ,one small pony will be a walk in the park inmy book and they do not cost a lot to keep at all, one of my M&m 'S for eg costs approx £25 a week to keep that includes stabling, grazing, feed, bedding , trimming every 6 weeks , wormers, annual jabs and insurance. It can be done , with a budget of £200 month you will be fine.... Gawsh with 3 jobs how can you not .... I know of people with horses who do not work at all and they do it ...  but then we won't start a debate on that one ... so if you work and earn your own money then why not ... go for it I say !! |
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Post by brt on Apr 4, 2012 12:28:14 GMT
Men are so good at moving the goal posts, must be a gene they have retained from the cave man era. I personally would just go and do it, but then i have a very down trodden husband who just throws his arms up in dispair when i bring another one home lol ;D
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Post by watchbank on Apr 4, 2012 12:47:59 GMT
Go for it, i have mine and my OH knows its my hobby and he has his own hobbies! He knows if he said i couldnt have one i wouldnt be here, they keep me normal lol! Put your foot down!
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If it does prove that you cannot afford one have you thought about volunteering for the RDA or a local riding school, that way you would still get your fix with horses and a release from working/children/housework whilst you continue to save for your own horse 
? Therefore do you feel you can fully cover full cost of your own pony.
I think working 3 jobs a small childs pony is not going to go without the basics! Blimey why are people so intent on getting others to feel down!?
but then we won't start a debate on that one 
