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Post by pingu on Sept 13, 2008 12:59:02 GMT
Why is it that people cannot bring their children up to accept it when they dont win. Have seen loads of children this year who cannot accept it when they do not come out of the ring with a red rosette. A lot of the parents seem as bad. I would never slag off a judge to my child if he/she didnt place my pony as I think it is setting a bad example, yet you see parents telling the children about how useless the judges are and how dare they put their ponies down the line. None of us agree with the judges all the time and it is lovely to win but you must be prepared for the fact that not all judges will like your pony and that children should understand this also.
I recently saw a boy with a pony outside the ring at Royal London with a face like thunder because he hadnt won (he had been placed in a big class) but he hadnt come first. His parents were fuming also and were telling him they were never coming again because the judging was so bad. The child then said 'I hate the judge because we didnt win'. If this had been my child he would not be showing again until he learned to lose gracefully and accept how lucky he was. There are hundreds of children who would have been thrilled just to compete, let alone get placed. My child goes into the ring and I do not give any indication of whether she has a chance or not. She has to work hard in the ring and if she wins it is brilliant but if the judge doesnt like the pony then that is their decision and we wait for another day. For gods sake parents lets try to encourage the kids to enjoy their showing win or lose or if not what are we turning these kids into. Spoilt brats I think!
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Post by ellieraga on Sept 13, 2008 15:47:37 GMT
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Post by clampit on Sept 13, 2008 16:40:54 GMT
I am afraid that I blame the parents, you sit and watch them outside the rings bit*hing about other competitors, slating judges etc the kids are bound to pick up on it, but also sick of the tantrums from some children because they aren't placed and the parents patting them on the back telling them it wasn't their fault it was the judges  When I was younger, many years ago I might add, i would have been dragged off of the ponies back and taken home  |
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halfpass
Happy to help....a lot
Return of the Dame
Posts: 12,964
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Post by halfpass on Sept 13, 2008 17:33:28 GMT
same as you clampit, may not of got taken home but sitting on a saddle would of been very uncomfortable
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Post by shelleyj on Sept 13, 2008 18:33:30 GMT
had a very confused daughter today, 3rd show with baby connie, went beautifully and pulled 2nd. judge asked for set show. daughter did exactly the same show as the first and 3rd, then was dropped to last by the judge who explained to her, not very nicely that she hadn't done the right show! yes we were well p****ed off coming out of the ring, but nevertheless were really chuffed with the pony and the way she had ridden him. and it wasn't just us who commented but the people around the ring and the girl who won bless her.
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Post by dancer on Sept 13, 2008 19:05:04 GMT
I'm not defending the spoilt brats that burst into tears if they don't win but sometimes it's hard for kids to understand why they are placed behind riders doing the whole show on the wrong leg, ponies that have reared in front of the judge etc.
In these circumstances I would expect the judge to be able to explain why they are placed lower down the line but many of them can't - how disheartening for a child to work really hard & not even be given any idea of how they need to improve.
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comet4eva
Full Member
Tireve Dinefwr Comet
Posts: 447
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Post by comet4eva on Sept 13, 2008 19:40:20 GMT
im a child, i purely go out for fun. if i get a rossette its a bonus, it really does anoy me when people in my class come out of the ring crying saying omg how did that beat me and i well shoulld have won that did you see what was in it !
xx
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Post by thecremellosociety on Sept 14, 2008 6:47:54 GMT
Saw one yesterday, not to bad just a real sad moodyface but just didnt go as well as the others, want last by no means but took a drop, what can you do, my little boy will do oh dear never mind but first time he gets a strop with pony he wont do it again !!!
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Post by squirly on Sept 14, 2008 13:03:34 GMT
I'm not defending the spoilt brats that burst into tears if they don't win but sometimes it's hard for kids to understand why they are placed behind riders doing the whole show on the wrong leg, ponies that have reared in front of the judge etc. In these circumstances I would expect the judge to be able to explain why they are placed lower down the line but many of them can't - how disheartening for a child to work really hard & not even be given any idea of how they need to improve. echo that, it's not that children shouldn't not care about winning, but they should learn to deal with it better. Parents should teach children to not kick off in public but if it's a must- at least in the lorry. it is really disheartening for some children though, even for me when i was younger. You go into the ring, expecting to at least get placed, as your counting the number of ponies in the collecting ring that you've beaten before, so you can place and make your parents proud. The upkeep of a show pony or show animal is very expensive as well as some of the classes, and i think some children are aware of this, and feel that they have win, as if they don't, it will have been hundreds down the drain. when you have to deal with all this pressure- (remember these are children we are talking about and it can be difficult for adults even to cope with that amount of stress,) the slightest bit of disappointment can be overwhelming, when your tired, hungry, thirsty, too hot, have a num bum and stressed. Especially when your sat there and your number hasn't been called out and your thinking to yourself, okay, that one wrong legged, that one swings it's legs, that one took off, etc. etc. and i think alot of the time it's not about that you haven't won, it's about why you haven't been rewarded for your show. i don't think anyone can say that if they were put behind ponies and shouldn't have been, that they wouln't have been even the slighest bit angry at the judge- I would! only, instead of talking about it on the way home, parent moan which tells the children it's okay too, only it's harder for children to contain them selves |
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Post by lucretia on Sept 14, 2008 13:15:53 GMT
One little girl in a class I was judging started crying. I asked her what was wrong as she had gone very nicely and was placed third. "If I cry I wont get shouted at as much " she said!!! Sometimes its the thought of what others may say! On the other side of the coin a rather rude little girl of about 10 rode out of the ring as the first 3 ponies were called in and smacked her pony hard and shouted to her mum I'm not doing this show again its rubbish!!
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Post by ponymum on Sept 14, 2008 14:38:51 GMT
I'm not defending the spoilt brats that burst into tears if they don't win but sometimes it's hard for kids to understand why they are placed behind riders doing the whole show on the wrong leg, ponies that have reared in front of the judge etc. In these circumstances I would expect the judge to be able to explain why they are placed lower down the line but many of them can't - how disheartening for a child to work really hard & not even be given any idea of how they need to improve. echo that, it's not that children shouldn't not care about winning, but they should learn to deal with it better. Parents should teach children to not kick off in public but if it's a must- at least in the lorry. it is really disheartening for some children though, even for me when i was younger. You go into the ring, expecting to at least get placed, as your counting the number of ponies in the collecting ring that you've beaten before, so you can place and make your parents proud. The upkeep of a show pony or show animal is very expensive as well as some of the classes, and i think some children are aware of this, and feel that they have win, as if they don't, it will have been hundreds down the drain. when you have to deal with all this pressure- (remember these are children we are talking about and it can be difficult for adults even to cope with that amount of stress,) the slightest bit of disappointment can be overwhelming, when your tired, hungry, thirsty, too hot, have a num bum and stressed. Especially when your sat there and your number hasn't been called out and your thinking to yourself, okay, that one wrong legged, that one swings it's legs, that one took off, etc. etc. and i think alot of the time it's not about that you haven't won, it's about why you haven't been rewarded for your show. i don't think anyone can say that if they were put behind ponies and shouldn't have been, that they wouln't have been even the slighest bit angry at the judge- I would! only, instead of talking about it on the way home, parent moan which tells the children it's okay too, only it's harder for children to contain them selves Squirly - Yes your point is valid, my daughter is 9 and last year in fr was constantly put down below a pony that ALWAYS went across the diag and wronglegged it, the child knew this and then spent the next whole circle trying 2,3 4 times to correct it...and didint...but still won...Very hard for a then 8 yr old to comprehend..But then on the trophy day ...Miraculously my daughter won and was thrilled...I think t he experience has helped my daughter to be more thick skinned and remember that we go to shows for enjoyment, a ribbon whatever colour should not be expected... but earned  |
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Post by diadem on Sept 14, 2008 16:48:49 GMT
Im not a mother but my heart is saddened when some of these kids behave like that, but where do they get it from? Over bearing pushy, loud parents thats where. Ok, it has to be taking into consideration that it s long day for kids to be hanging about, hungry, thirsty, overtired. But being spoilt is another thing. I too would have been in deep trouble if I had behaved like a brat.
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Post by wobbles on Sept 14, 2008 17:07:56 GMT
I do think unless a child is born that way its all down to the parents, children learn by example, if the parents are outside the ring pulling faces because their little prodigy hasn't been placed in the position that the parents seem to think they should be in, or shout at the child for making a mistake, what are we expecting the child to do. We all know that some judges aren't as fair as they could be, but that is life, like it or lump it life isn't fair all the time, but the mistakes and hard knocks make better people at the end of the day. I taught my children that they were to do their best at anything they attempted, even if their best didn't get them anywhere, can't knock a child for trying of it's best can we  |
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Post by smokeycott on Sept 14, 2008 21:44:17 GMT
TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON TE KIDS TO WIN!!!
BUT I SUPPOSE ITS HEARTBREAKING TO BE TOLD YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH WHEN YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHY.
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Post by clampit on Sept 15, 2008 5:52:58 GMT
Got fed up with listening to a mother at the side of a ring yesterday, loudly stating in front of her daughter,and anyone else that would listen, how she didn't know why she was bothering letting her daughter enter the class as the judge clearly didn;t likee her pony, having not been placed all day Could it not have been that her pony clearly was not as good as the other ponies in the ring or that her daughters riding ability was not as good  But oh no according to her it was all the judges fault, needless to say the daughter rode round the ring with a face looking like she was sucking a lemon  |
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Post by lucynlizzysmum on Sept 15, 2008 9:20:21 GMT
Speaking as a parent - on the odd occasion my daughter has taken a strop when she has come out of the ring....not pretty - it's usually when she's mad at herself and knows she could have done better, but just comes over as a strop to outsiders that she hasn't won.
Please don't always assume that its a) the fault of the parents b) the fault of the judge - it may eb that the child is disappointed in itself knowing its let its pony and itself down.
I detest overbearing pushy parents, and try not to be one - BUT we are all human and have bad days!
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Post by kelly anne on Sept 15, 2008 11:16:02 GMT
I blame the parents,we was at the swpa show a couple of years ago watching the child handler there was a child could not hold the pony,you could see the pony was stressed out by it all and the kid was hitting it every time the jugde walked away and the mother & father was telling the child to hit the pony the poor pony in the end they got sent out of the ring and my firends and i saw the mother hitting the poor pony saying how dare you let my child down,we walked by and said to her not the pony letting your child down its your child and yourselfs its only child handler them parents make me sick taking it out on the poor little ponies.
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Post by bunny on Sept 15, 2008 12:47:36 GMT
Saw one yesterday, not to bad just a real sad moodyface but just didnt go as well as the others, want last by no means but took a drop, what can you do, my little boy will do oh dear never mind but first time he gets a strop with pony he wont do it again !!! Do hope that wasnt my 5 yr old daughter - we were called in first (highly unusual) and dropped to 3rd, she doesnt show much and is nearly always at the bottom end of the line so I think got a little over excited by standing at the top - I looked at the photographers pics and her face looked like the bottom had dropped out of her world I do always explain the judges opinion thing to both my children and congratulate them/praise ponies where ever they are placed for going well. I tell them to be gracious, polite and pleased with their pony etc but even so, however well hidden it can be dissapointing for them. |
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Post by shinning star on Sept 16, 2008 5:44:06 GMT
i saw a girl (about 14) on sunday come back to the car park with a fourth rossette, she said to her mother at the top of her voice that was embarrassing! i had walked past earlier and the class had about 8 or 9 in so i just said to her at least you werent last. the mother turned round and said yes but he was the best as simple as. you dont win cheshire county to come here and be fourth. as i went away all i could think was you dont win cheshire county to go to a riding club trophy show having not been all season to take the trophies off kids who have been every month. i giggled to myself all day that their pot hunting plan had back- fired.
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Post by thecremellosociety on Sept 16, 2008 6:33:11 GMT
Nope wasnt yours xxxx
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Post by grotty on Sept 16, 2008 7:18:07 GMT
This is purely my opinion but children learn by association some of the vile things that I have heard come out of their parents mouth the kids don't stand a chance!!
The other thing is that I think is that kids have/get given so much these days that they think they should be handed 1st place on a plate
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Post by bunny on Sept 16, 2008 9:11:48 GMT
Phew .. |
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Post by joules on Sept 16, 2008 11:26:39 GMT
we find when we go to a local show ,usualy with a novice or with my young sister (only four) beautifully turned out and we have both gone well.the judges mostly go for the pony the is not so well turned out, and not gone that well either.we dont mind because we were like that at one time.we also dont mind taking a rosette when we havent deserved it so it can work both ways.mum has always told us to say well done to our competiters what ever happenes.
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halfpass
Happy to help....a lot
Return of the Dame
Posts: 12,964
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Post by halfpass on Sept 16, 2008 12:32:58 GMT
Do you not think that this is a problem across the board and not restricted to the showing world, I was talking to a lady the other day, she had taken her ten year old son to a restaurant for a meal, when they had finished and were leaving to go the waiter commented on how well behaved her son was, at the time she was quiet pleased at what he had said, it wasn't till later that that she was saddened that good manners was no longer classed as the norm, I don't know what is going on with the world, or where it is heading at the moment, but it is not for the better |
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Post by thecremellosociety on Sept 16, 2008 12:52:24 GMT
kids nowadays dont know they are born !!!!!!!!!!
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Post by lucynlizzysmum on Sept 16, 2008 13:39:41 GMT
Do you not think that this is a problem across the board and not restricted to the showing world, I was talking to a lady the other day, she had taken her ten year old son to a restaurant for a meal, when they had finished and were leaving to go the waiter commented on how well behaved her son was, at the time she was quiet pleased at what he had said, it wasn't till later that that she was saddened that good manners was no longer classed as the norm, I don't know what is going on with the world, or where it is heading at the moment, but it is not for the better Hadn't thought of it like that Halfpass - but hey - you are absolutely right! Equally tho' somtimes we have to accept that kids (or adults) are disappointed - either in themselves or in the judging or whatever and sometimes it is obvious that they are disappointed. I would agree that it is absolutely no excuse for bad manners - or abuse to judges/spectators/other competitors, but being cross with oneself for not doing as well as you could is sometimes no bad thing, as it makes you more likely that you will try harder next time! |
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Post by grotty on Sept 16, 2008 19:46:02 GMT
Do you not think that this is a problem across the board and not restricted to the showing world, I was talking to a lady the other day, she had taken her ten year old son to a restaurant for a meal, when they had finished and were leaving to go the waiter commented on how well behaved her son was, at the time she was quiet pleased at what he had said, it wasn't till later that that she was saddened that good manners was no longer classed as the norm, I don't know what is going on with the world, or where it is heading at the moment, but it is not for the better Yes halfpass I do think it is all across the board just in general life if you like. It is not the norm to see well behaved children when you are eating out, hence why people notice when they are! My god I'm going to sound like a fuddy duddy now but when I was growing up when we were taken out for a meal we KNEW we HAD to behave!! I am in my 40's and I still respect my parents |
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Post by potty pots on Sept 26, 2008 15:22:36 GMT
Why is it that people cannot bring their children up to accept it when they dont win. Have seen loads of children this year who cannot accept it when they do not come out of the ring with a red rosette. A lot of the parents seem as bad. I would never slag off a judge to my child if he/she didnt place my pony as I think it is setting a bad example, yet you see parents telling the children about how useless the judges are and how dare they put their ponies down the line. None of us agree with the judges all the time and it is lovely to win but you must be prepared for the fact that not all judges will like your pony and that children should understand this also. I recently saw a boy with a pony outside the ring at Royal London with a face like thunder because he hadnt won (he had been placed in a big class) but he hadnt come first. His parents were fuming also and were telling him they were never coming again because the judging was so bad. The child then said 'I hate the judge because we didnt win'. If this had been my child he would not be showing again until he learned to lose gracefully and accept how lucky he was. There are hundreds of children who would have been thrilled just to compete, let alone get placed. My child goes into the ring and I do not give any indication of whether she has a chance or not. She has to work hard in the ring and if she wins it is brilliant but if the judge doesnt like the pony then that is their decision and we wait for another day. For gods sake parents lets try to encourage the kids to enjoy their showing win or lose or if not what are we turning these kids into. Spoilt brats I think
