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Post by ruftytuftyrider on May 29, 2012 22:16:53 GMT
I cannot understand why some adults are so selfish.
On Saturday we went to visit Wedgewood Visitor Collection as I had seen online that you could have a go at throwing a pot and my daughter has been desparate to have a go for years.
When we got there they said that as it was busy there was no pot throwing until 1.30pm so we did the rest of the museum and grabbed a drink before going through to the area where they do pot throwing at just before 1.30pm.
When we got there there were a group of ladies asking the potter questions, a family with one son. The mother asked the potter about whether her son could throw a pot and I asked if daughter could at the same time (he said he could do 2 at a time). Potter said that he could do two as he had a couple in at 2pm. As soon as I said could daughter do it with the boy the father decided he was going to do it - he wasn't until then. I could not believe how selfish he was - if that had been me even if it was something I had wanted to do all along I would have said let the children do it.
I was talking to my work colleague today about it and she said she thinks it is a female thing - a woman would let the children do the activity rather than themselves.
It reminded me of when we were at the zoo and there was lion cubs - I could not believe how many adults were crowding round looking for ages before moving on and not letting the children get a look in - I could not believe the selfishness. When I got to the front I let lots of children as well as my own stand in front of me as I could easily see over their heads and I am only 5ft.
I think it is a sad world when adults put themselves before children (whether their own or other peoples).
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Post by nia2311 on May 29, 2012 22:29:16 GMT
I see this all the time. Took son to Tower of London and adults crowded round all the best bits, blocking children's views. I started shoving him to the front and nudging adults out of the way. I appreciate some of the foreign visitors were astounded something from several centuries back is still standing, but they can see above the kiddies, so why push to the front. Its another gripe of mine too ruftytufty.
I have also noticed how rude adults are in general. I have my left arm in a sling at the moment as I mucked up my shoulder falling off a couple of weeks back. Therefore, I have only one arm to push a trolley round Sainsburys, one arm to hold on when standing on the bus, one hand to carry my bag down steps at train stations - you get the picture.
How many people let me sit down on buses in the past 2wks? None. How many have jostled past me, trying to get off first, knocking my arm? Too many to count. How many have helped with my bag at stations with steps? One Merseyrail chap who took pity on me on a Thursday morning. No-one else. How many people continued in a straight line towards me in Sainsburys today? Every single flipping one of them!!
I have always been considerate towards OAPs, the disabled, people with buggies/prams and the generally incapacitated (e.g. broken leg, on crutches). This week has really opened my eyes to how darn rude the world is. Oh, and OAPs are particularly bad with the public transport thing - they have no conception of personal space. The majority of people who whacked my arm with bags, elbows and other things have been OAPs......
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Post by Karen, garrettponies on May 29, 2012 22:49:56 GMT
Ha nia!! My mum is one of THOSE oap's, lethal with a shopping trolley, blocks the aisles, rams ankles etc etc. I am another who has always tried to respect my elders and be kind and helpful to oap's, unfortunately they don't seem to appreciate it these days, its their 'right' to do what they like because they are old  |
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Post by nia2311 on May 29, 2012 22:52:30 GMT
Seriously, one OAP made me cry on the bus on saturday. She sat at the front, but as I went past she stood up and flung her bag outwards, hitting my shoulder and it hurt like hell...... Ask my hubby what I was like for the rest of the day...... He avoided me anyhow!!
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Post by desktop on May 30, 2012 4:55:23 GMT
Sorry but these adults have also paid entry fees to get into these museums and zoos, so why shouldnt they enjoy what they have paid for  yes I do agree that there are many inconsiderate adults out there, but not just those without children, what gives adults with buggies the right to be rude or ram the buggy into the back of peoples legs  Im sorry but it works both ways, I think that parents have very little respect for those of us that are not when they are out in public with their children, I hate the fact the kids are allowed to run round restaurants whilst other people try and enjoy their meals, we were never allowed to run around when we were kids, you sat at your table until you were told you could get down! Im afraid I think children have very little respect for their elders these days and that can only be because of the way they have been bought up. Ruftytuftyrider and Nia I am not saying this is your children, but you are both generalising about us adults with no children, we are not all the same as parents are not all the same either. |
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Post by Erinx on May 30, 2012 8:19:56 GMT
Well I'm a mother of two and my children are well behaved but my god there are some wild ones out there!!!!
O Nia don't get me started on oaps! And my major gripe is when people without kids or children that don't need a pram park in parent and child spaces!!! It's a nightmare trying to park my 4x4 in a normal space with a 5yr old and a baby!!!
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Post by nia2311 on May 30, 2012 8:35:14 GMT
Desktop we didn't say adults couldn't join in at museums etc, just could they make some space for very small people to see things? I also pay my entrance fee and I want to see it too, but I am capable of looking at a specimen or display above the head of a 3ft child. We had a massive issue at Imperial War Museum in London, with adults pushing children literally out the way to get their photos taken with tanks, aeroplanes etc. My son loves all this sort of thing, but is far too shy and polite to push an adult back. So I had to send him with my 6ft 4in hubby, just so he could get a close look at everything. I agree there are plenty of horrid kids around - I have personally remonstrated with the parents of rowdy children in cafes, on buses etc, because I too cannot stand it. But why should attractions which have a great deal of interest to small children be swamped by enormous grown ups who block the view and use their size advantage to enjoy the activities above children? I too would have ensured the last place on pot throwing was given to a child, not an adult, even if it wasn't my child. In the past, I have "sacrificed" my place on rollercoasters so families could sit together, forgone my place on guided tours so a family of four could stay together etc.
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Post by browbands.co.uk on May 30, 2012 9:50:29 GMT
Yip this happens all the time and i just don't understand it at all  I guess it all depends on how you have been brought up. And men well even when they are 40 they act like 4 and don't know any better   |
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on May 30, 2012 12:31:56 GMT
I understand what you are saying Desktop and I agree with you about children running around in restaurants - I was never allowed to and my daughter has never been allowed to - she often makes comments about the way some children are allowed to run riot.
My criticism was not aimed at adults without children (and I never intended for it come over in that way) because I have seen parents standing at the front with their own child struggling to be able to see round them. In fact the person I was saying was selfish that prompted my post was the father of the boy at Wedgewood who only decided to throw a pot when I asked if my daughter could throw a pot (there were only 2 wheels) which meant we had to go away, find somewhere to eat that was quick and then rush back - if he had said he wanted to do it when his wife asked about son throwing pot I would have had no problem it was only when I asked about daughter throwing one too that he decided to.
I agree that everyone has paid their entry fee but on the whole most adults can see an exhibit/animal over the heads of the majority of primary aged children.
I am not suggesting for a moment that adults visiting somewhere should not see something but just why not let a small child stand in front of you so that they can see as well as you, that way everyone gets a turn, there would be no need for the jostling that seems to go on at some places and everyone would be happy.
It always amazes me the way some people use prams and pushchairs as weapons. It amazes me the number of people that take prams into areas that aren't designed for them or where there is very little space. I think where there is obviously not enough room to have prams and pushchairs it should be like Disneyland where there is a pram/pushchair park at the entrance and you leave them there thus making it easier for everyone to move around and see everything.
I do think respect is a bit of a two way thing not automatic. When a child sees an adult pushing children out of the way, being rude to them or speaking down to them etc why should they respect them because in my view respect is earned.
I would be horrified if my daughter was rude to anyone - adult or child - or pushed past anyone or was unkind in any way but that is not because of a lack of respect but because of a lack of manners/commoncourtesy.
I expect her to be polite, courteous and to behave but that is different to respect. Respect is something you give to someone who deserves it because of they way they act. If someone is kind, courteous, polite and shows good manners I will respect them but I will not respect someone who is rude, nasty and lacks manners or common courtesy whatever their age.
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Post by sometime on May 30, 2012 22:40:39 GMT
I am nearly an OAP well would be if the government didnt keep shifting the goal posts and I always get the kids to the front of me if I have managed to get a good view after all I can see over their heads. What annoys me is people who sit kids on their shoulders or let them stand on seats so I cant see either at displays or at the cinema
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on May 31, 2012 11:52:19 GMT
Know what you mean sometime about people putting kids on shoulders or standing on seats - everyone has paid their money and wants to see everything and with a little courtesy from everyone this could be achieved.
Think that is the problem that nowadays there are a minority of people (from all walks of life, all sexes, all age groups) who have no thought for others and do not show other people basic common courtesy.
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Post by parsnip on Jun 9, 2012 19:01:16 GMT
I find it hugely annoying when rude adults feel that it's okay to demand good manners from children but set such a bad example themselves ..... teach by example please!
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Post by B_31 on Jun 9, 2012 19:14:25 GMT
Sorry but these adults have also paid entry fees to get into these museums and zoos, so why shouldnt they enjoy what they have paid for yes I do agree that there are many inconsiderate adults out there, but not just those without children, what gives adults with buggies the right to be rude or ram the buggy into the back of peoples legs Im sorry but it works both ways, I think that parents have very little respect for those of us that are not when they are out in public with their children, I hate the fact the kids are allowed to run round restaurants whilst other people try and enjoy their meals, we were never allowed to run around when we were kids, you sat at your table until you were told you could get down! Im afraid I think children have very little respect for their elders these days and that can only be because of the way they have been bought up. Ruftytuftyrider and Nia I am not saying this is your children, but you are both generalising about us adults with no children, we are not all the same as parents are not all the same either. this ^ especially the restaraunt thing!! i regularly b*llock kids in the pub (i work there)! about running round... i do it in front of their parents who more often than not dont care....the ones who DO care are the kids sat politely in their seats colouring in!! But as for OP, i dont think its selfish - more inconsiderate people? |
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Post by nia2311 on Jun 9, 2012 21:06:28 GMT
Well we were at the zoo last week - my son couldn't see half the exhibits because of grown ups with their noses pushed up against the glass. Couldn't see the feeding time, couldn't get near to the snakes being handled. I have a arm/shoulder injury so can't go plunging into crowds or lift him up. I found it very disappointing. And before anyone says anything, I paid a lot of money for 2 adult and 1 child tickets, plus train fares, so we have as much right as the next person to see the baby marmoset with its mother........
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Jun 9, 2012 22:16:32 GMT
I hope your son enjoyed what he did manage to see but can totally understand your frustration.
I hope your arm/shoulder injury is getting better - it must be soo difficult.
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yes I do agree that there are many inconsiderate adults out there, but not just those without children, what gives adults with buggies the right to be rude or ram the buggy into the back of peoples legs 
Im sorry but it works both ways, I think that parents have very little respect for those of us that are not when they are out in public with their children, I hate the fact the kids are allowed to run round restaurants whilst other people try and enjoy their meals, we were never allowed to run around when we were kids, you sat at your table until you were told you could get down! Im afraid I think children have very little respect for their elders these days and that can only be because of the way they have been bought up. Ruftytuftyrider and Nia I am not saying this is your children, but you are both generalising about us adults with no children, we are not all the same as parents are not all the same either.
I guess it all depends on how you have been brought up.
