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Post by eskvalleystud on Jun 16, 2012 9:48:35 GMT
My daughter is an only child, it was her 7th Birthday last weekend - I am starting to feel old!!! she is a fantastic child, very well grounded, I do not think she is lonely, she goes to activities outside school so has alot of company and she needs for nothing as I work hard to give her a life I feel she deserves, although I have been with her step dad now for 4 years I do not think I could have another child now - could not afford too and also could not cope - as a baby she never slept and I used to be in work never having any sleep all night - no way I could do that again! serious sleep deprivation can kill!
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Post by hatman on Jun 16, 2012 20:21:36 GMT
People always like to pass comment on others lives i have 3 daughters and people ask me if i will try for a boy and what a shame we did not have a boy. I love my daughters and wanted 3 children whatever sex they were. I just find some people very rude. Sometimes when my 3 are not getting on as well as i would like i should have stopped at 1
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Post by mrstuffey on Jul 19, 2012 14:41:28 GMT
People assumed I was an only child as my mother and I were always with the ponies competing etc. They thought I was a spoilt princess when they found out I actually had a brother. My brother was not interested in horses and he and my dad were quite happy off spending the same amount of time golfing.
My OH is an only child and was not spoilt at all, his parents came from large families so he was always playing with his cousins. We are expecting our second child in a couple of months and I always get nasty comments because he has 2 children from a relationship 10 years ago! Things like "oh was 3 children not enough then?"
The thing is my stepkids are not mine and I don't feel I should be limited to my childbearing because he got started earlier! I have always wanted 3 kids but we get comments like "Ooh he's Frank Gallagher"
We both work in good professions and can afford all of our children. People just have absolutely no idea how rude their comments are both ways.
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Post by mrstuffey on Jul 19, 2012 14:42:57 GMT
People always like to pass comment on others lives i have 3 daughters and people ask me if i will try for a boy and what a shame we did not have a boy. I love my daughters and wanted 3 children whatever sex they were. I just find some people very rude. Sometimes when my 3 are not getting on as well as i would like i should have stopped at 1 we also get this. My OH has his 2 girls, and our daughter. When we found out we were having a boy this time people said "oh I guess you can stop now". It's incredibly medieval, it's not like we were trying to get an heir to the throne!! |
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mrsm
Newbie
Posts: 18
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Post by mrsm on Jul 21, 2012 7:38:19 GMT
I find it odd that people feel able (or have time) to even think about never mind pass comment on how many children somebody else has. I have 3 but most people would think I only have 2 as my son only rode at home never came to shows etc, we were married 5 years before we had our first child and I was always getting asked by family , friends and colleagues when we were having children hinting was there a "problem" and the comments about "oh the horse and dog will have to go when you have children I got to the point where I used to respond saying " why does it matter to you if or when we have children? and why do you really think it's okay to ask me these questions or pass comment on our personal choices as I find your interest in my lifestyle a bit odd" - def conversation stopper and they never asked again!
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sarahp
Happy to help
Posts: 9,510
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Post by sarahp on Jul 21, 2012 8:20:37 GMT
How many children anyone chooses, or is forced by circumstances, to have is no one's business but their own.
However sometime above has touched on the only point I have to make, based on personal experience. My father had a major stroke at 86yo and was left very disabled but lived another 8 years, with my mother not dealing with it very well. I was so very glad I had a sister to share the burden, not so much in actual caring terms as he had carers coming in, but the mental one, knowing you aren't on your own over it and having someone to talk to. Even the best and most caring OH is not in the same position as a sibling sharing the same parents. And I wonder about children with a badly handicapped sibling left with the task of being possibly responsible for them in the future when the parents no longer can.
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Post by workingcob on Jul 21, 2012 18:45:22 GMT
How odd I never had any remarks about only having one child. I have a low pain threshold (they said) well I wasn't going to do that twice. I am more annoyed by people that keep having more and more. Few can afford a large family these days and the State ends up providing (that being you and I) Absolutely! It drives me mad seeing people having loads of kids they cannot afford then expecting state hand outs I have one son, he is a lovely child & (I hope) wants for nothing. I do sometimes think it would have been nice for him to have had a sibling but circumstances conspired against it. I occasionally think about it now, but the main thing stopping me is the thought of another set of nursery and then school fees |
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Post by nia2311 on Jul 21, 2012 23:44:46 GMT
Having done it the wrong way round first time, my son is going to be at least 12 before I have more children (I do want more!). I am waiting until I have a steady job - hubby is on a good wage now and has excellent prospects in the college he is working in. I do worry my son and any future children won't be close due to the huge age gap - what is other people's experience of big age gaps??
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