dai7y
Junior Member
Posts: 148
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Post by dai7y on Jun 8, 2012 20:53:09 GMT
I am sick to death of people judging me and making sarcastic comments because i only have 1 child. They dont know the reason why i have only 1 but babble on about how lucky she is, she must be spoilt because we bought her a pony and she has holidays abroad. I then get the comments of, is she not lonely?? Yes i can afford to spoil her because i work bloody hard to pay for the things i want and if i want to buy things for my daughter, then i will and i wont be judged by others. She has a large friendship group, has a decent job, bought her own pony and car and has a good sense of monetary value and has always been taught to share. If other people want numerous kids and cant afford to buy them things, dont have a go at me just because i can afford nice things, they dont know my circumstances... off to refill the wine glass
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Post by horsesmakemehappy on Jun 8, 2012 20:54:28 GMT
Well said :@)
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Post by chorro on Jun 8, 2012 21:10:47 GMT
I'm an only child was spoilt rotten and no I most certainly was not lonely, so tell them all to go bog off  |
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Post by piaffe on Jun 8, 2012 21:13:26 GMT
I only have one child through choice. I split with her dad before she was born. I have worked very very hard to provide for her as a single parent ,and gave her the best I could afford. I chose not to have any more children as I didn't want to explain why we all had different names. This is my choice. I do not have a problem with people who have 3 or 4 children. My sister has 3 with different dads . Her choice I respect that !!! I don't query your choice do not query mine.  So I know how you feel dai7y as I get the same comments you do. Why do people feel free to judge me because I chose a different path to them !!! Unfair to say the least . |
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Post by viking on Jun 8, 2012 21:14:00 GMT
Agree with you dai7y.
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Post by brindlerainbow on Jun 8, 2012 21:16:07 GMT
I only had 1 daughter which was my choice but no one has ever made nasty comments about the fact that she is an only child. The majority of people said they wish they had just stuck with one!!!!!
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Post by nia2311 on Jun 8, 2012 22:00:13 GMT
Don't listen to others, if you and your daughter are happy, thats all that matters. My son is an only child as I was 16 when I had him. I do want more, but want to do it all in the right order this time round. He is almost 10, a very well rounded and polite little boy. He makes friends easily, loves his riding and is always praised by people we meet as he is sensible and mature for his age. No-one has actually queried why I only have one child, maybe its because I am still fairly young, but if anyone did comment, I'd tell them where to get off!!
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Post by Take no notice on Jun 8, 2012 23:13:54 GMT
Take no notice of what people are saying. Majority of people want the best for their children and this varies depending on individual circumstances.
I only have 1 child, I chose only to have one and have no regrets. Yes, she is a spoilt and other people are envious and I have heard them bit*hing about her and also their children's behaviour has not been great due to jealousy.
I have a very well paid job, but work bloody hard, I provide her with the best I can. However she is the most polite and well mannered girl you could could ever meet.
The people who get on my nerves are the ones who bit*h about what everybody else has, but sit on their backsides all day, fit and healthy and don't want to work!!
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Post by Sam on Jun 9, 2012 7:08:22 GMT
I got one and definately not having any more.
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Post by browbands.co.uk on Jun 9, 2012 7:45:10 GMT
Well said other people should shut up and mind their own business  |
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Post by Karen, garrettponies on Jun 9, 2012 8:09:18 GMT
I have one child and I too get fed up of people asking when we are going to have more as if it is a crime to only have one. Yes, she is a very lucky girl, she has ponies and a nice home and she hsa nice circle of friends and a family that adore her. We can't have any more and I wish when people ask they would stop and think, they don't seem to be able to let it go and harp on and on about it, I wish they would mind their own business!! I don't want to have to explain why we don't have any others.
Oh yeah and other classic comment, 'well if you have another you'll have another lead rein jockey'.......................get a life!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by fanfarefan on Jun 9, 2012 13:52:47 GMT
our son is an only child , and i felt as i wasnt particularly maternal that one was enough , but that was our choice , and it is nobodies buisiness but yours , he is a happy well adjusted young man now , and i dont think he missed out not having any siblings , he has the horses, dogs ,done all the sport that he wanted , and yes we did have lovely holidays and yes he was spoilt ,but as our circumstances changed dramatically 2 years ago , im glad that we did only have one child to get through it , finances were tight enough as it was without more mouths to feed , when it comes down to it , your life your choice
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Post by caroline123 on Jun 9, 2012 14:14:13 GMT
I only have one child - a lovely, unselfish, adored daughter. Would have been nice to have more but wasn't meant to be. Yes she is spoilt but is in no way is she a brat. If people want to stay things let them get on with and you get on with enjoying your only child  |
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Post by sometime on Jun 9, 2012 17:18:48 GMT
Oh is an only child and he regrets ever day not having brothers and sisters. He gets very lonely. We have three children that are very close and we all spend time together but he says it is not the same as having his own siblings.
I am not knocking anyone for their choice it is an individuals own decision but only saying what he feels and has done since I have known him. Funnily enough I have three sisters and we all married only children
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Post by emilyandchubb on Jun 9, 2012 18:29:02 GMT
I am one of three children in my family, I am spoilt, but its only because my dad works so hard to be able to give us things that we need and would like, I also pay for my own horse and car, I don't think it matters whether you are only child or not whether you are spoilt, more people fuss about your financial status as they think your "rich" - I'm so proud of my dad from building up what we have from when he started off with nothing! I've always said that I would like 1 child and I think aslong as there are kids to play with around you, then they can survive and still have as much fun! They may not be able to provide for there kids like you can as they have to pay out for each, just think 3 x cars when old enough to drive, I'm 20 and drive, sister 19 and learning and brother 17 and learning, thats a lot to pay out for! Don't listen to those people, its there choice how many children they wanted to have!
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Post by sometime on Jun 9, 2012 18:38:34 GMT
Should add we have been married for 36 years so it is not a short lived feeling. He didnt get on well with his mum and his parents were divorced so I suppose that may have been an issue as to needing siblings We ended up carers for his mum
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Post by nici on Jun 9, 2012 22:58:17 GMT
Cerys is an only child but likes being my special girl and is glad she doesn't have to share me. I don't think she is particularly spoiled - she doesn't get everything she wants and definitely doesn't get her own way all the time. I love sharing my hobby (the ponies) with her and get huge pleasure from the fun she has with them. I'm also happy that she has other hobbies, even though I don't share them. She has a wide circle of friends, including a couple of special friends she rides with and some very good friends at school. Yes I'm biased, but others have also told me that she is a lovely child, very caring, kind and unselfish, always happy to share with friends.
My brother has 3 kids, my sister has 5 kids and 4 grand kids so far. We're all very different and wouldn't change anything with our kids!
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Post by stormy007 on Jun 10, 2012 6:18:03 GMT
take no notice my daughter is only child ,not lonely ,i get people say oh when you having another i say im not ,oh thats not good a only child is a lonely one they say ,they dont know i beat ovarian cancer so why say things i quote brain into action before mouth lol,,my daughter has so many friends ,plus she a typical farmers daughter ,she a little busy bee ,never stops love her bitsxx
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Jun 10, 2012 21:31:12 GMT
I am an only child and have always loved it. I can say hand on heart that I have never if 46 years wished I had a sibling. I have never felt lonely. I am very close to my mum and was extremely close to my dad - a real daddy's girl.
I remember when my mum was diagnosed with leukaemia and I was visiting her in hospital every day whilst working full time and looking after my dad that a colleague who was also an only child but hated being one said that the worst thing was caring always fell to her - I could think of nothing worse than having to share the caring - I wanted to visit every day and wanted to look after my dad and would have hated having to share.
My daughter is an only child - totally my choice - but she adores being an only child and has lots of friends and a great social life.
Ignore any negative comments - what suits them wont suit you and vice versa - it is a case of horses for courses.
I am sure your daughter loves being an only child.
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Post by ladywell on Jun 11, 2012 16:32:30 GMT
Ignore them!! I was once told that I was selfish because I worked full time and spent my spare time with our animals - too busy to have a family! I was not able to have children - imagine how that hurt and what I wanted to say in retaliation? But I didn't - there was no point because they had made their mind up.
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Post by viking on Jun 11, 2012 17:01:44 GMT
Ignore them!! I was once told that I was selfish because I worked full time and spent my spare time with our animals - too busy to have a family! I was not able to have children - imagine how that hurt and what I wanted to say in retaliation? But I didn't - there was no point because they had made their mind up. Spoken assumptions can be often very painful. I sympathise. |
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Post by harajuku on Jun 11, 2012 19:35:19 GMT
i'm an only child and i dont ever remember being lonely when i was younger! it does annoy me now im older and people joke that i must be spoilt being an only child with 2 horses and a nice car! but they soon shut up when they find out that i bought the horses & my car myself and pay for everything each month. Im not on the best wage but it all goes on my horses! my parents are really good and help me out if i need to (theyre horsey) but i dont want to depend on them
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Post by deucoch on Jun 11, 2012 20:10:26 GMT
Something i'm berated on, is not having any children!
People ask very instrusive questions at times.
It feels like i've commiting a crime and i'm depriving my 'poor' husband.
Pethaps one day, i may decide i want to be a parent, but When you have health problems it's not to be entered to lightly.
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Jun 11, 2012 22:35:34 GMT
People are far to quick to make assumptions that are often incorrect and can be very hurtful.
Nowadays a thick skin has become a requisite unfortunately.
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Post by showingfanatic on Jun 11, 2012 22:58:42 GMT
I was an only child for many years, rather lonely but gained a wicked imagination and learned to entertain myself. ;D My dad went on to have 4 more kids with his new wife, he works hard and they are well looked after and provided for, but get no where near the amount of personal attention i got when i was little as theres just not enough hours in the day, but i think it has a negative impact on them and i wouldnt swap with any of them any day.
All boils down to personal choice
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Post by amumwithapony on Jun 12, 2012 14:56:55 GMT
My daughter is an only child and at 7 is growing up to be a well mannered, loving, generous little girl.
She is spoilt rotten with material things. She has 2 ponies, goes on holiday abroad and generally gets anything she asks for. However, she rarely asks for much. A packet of sweeties or an ice cream occasionally, maybe something pink or sparkly she has seen for the ponies, perhaps new clothes if we are shopping and she sees something. If I say no, she rarely pesters or mithers.
My sister has 3 boys and a new baby girl. My other sister an older daughter (14) and a 4 year old boy. The 3 boys are at best awful. And the teenage daughter a nightmare with the 4 year old boy being a devil child.
They throw tantrums when they can't get their own way, rarely say please and thank you, are rude and insolent.
So if my contribution to the world is a well brought up, hard working, bright little girl compared to some of the larger families out there then I would rather that be my contribution than some of the kids I see.
And I get fed up of people asking. If we have another baby which I would like it will be because I want another well brought up child who I will have the time to raise properly, not because I feel I should to give my current daughter a permenant playmate.
I'm the oldest out of 6. I hated my sisters growing up. They made my life a misery. I had to share everything and nothing was 'just' for me. I felt as though I had no possessions of my own, no space, no privacy and no decent relationship with my mother who was always distracted, tired and pregnant! Probably not true but its how I remember things.
I'd like to think that even if I had another baby now I would still have enough time to spend with my little girl to have the relationship we already have. She may get a little fed up at times. I work from home so sometimes in the holidays she got a bit fed up if I had a long call to make and stuff.
But I bet she'd get fed up if by the time she was 7 she had 2 or 3 younger siblings to torment her life out!
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Post by flee on Jun 14, 2012 21:22:16 GMT
Who gives a stuff what people think .
I have two children and did intend to have more but we started fostering when my youngest was 18 months old . When he was 20 months we had two girls sent to us ( who stayed with us for 3 years ) and I had 4 tots aged 6 months , 18 months , 20 months and 3 1/2 y .
I remember being in a queue at the supermarket checkout with them all and a woman behind me saying ( in a loud 'whisper' intended for all to hear )
" Well there's someone who's never heard the word 'contraception'.
I just turned around , looked her in the eye , patted my stomach and said 'There's another three at home and twins on the way '.
Other people know nothing about you , your life or your choices .And life's too short to care .Tell them to get stuffed or do what I do and take the mick - but don't for one second waste time worrying about 'other people '.
NB Just have to add though -that if it wasn't for those wonderfully ignorant ' other people' I'd have a lot less inspiration for my posts !!
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Post by sageandonion on Jun 15, 2012 20:36:59 GMT
How odd I never had any remarks about only having one child. I have a low pain threshold (they said) well I wasn't going to do that twice.
I am more annoyed by people that keep having more and more. Few can afford a large family these days and the State ends up providing (that being you and I)
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Post by nia2311 on Jun 15, 2012 20:43:22 GMT
How odd I never had any remarks about only having one child. I have a low pain threshold (they said) well I wasn't going to do that twice. I am more annoyed by people that keep having more and more. Few can afford a large family these days and the State ends up providing (that being you and I) I think I get it because I am young. I do want more than 1 child but need to do it the right way round this time ;D Funnily enough, the most barbed comments come from my mother in law who is appalled her younger daughter has produced a Grandchild first. She mentions it every time we visit, without fail, and wonders why I avoid visiting?  |
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Post by haggismarmite on Jun 15, 2012 20:53:40 GMT
I hate people making assumptions on this front - I'm an only child as my mother said I was so hideous as a baby I put her off ever having another one!! No-one has the right to make decisions for people when it comes to children.
I loved being an only child when I was little, I was really lucky to have a massive close extended family and lots of cousins to put me in my place when necessary and to fall back on - now I'm older I wish I had a sibling though to help as my parents are getting older and have more health issues, there are days when I thank goodness my OH is close to them and helps - if I didn't have him I don't know how I'd cope with the stress of the ageing parents and the decisions that will have to be taken for them, I was never lonely as a child but feel increasingly lonely with age.
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