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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Nov 2, 2012 21:52:02 GMT
My hubby doesn't do children at all and it seems whenever we go out we always end up sitting close to a family who either let the children run riot around the restaurant or make a lot of noise.
Kerbeck you are lucky that your husband enjoys spending time with his son. However, give and take/compromise takes many forms - in our house hubby works extremely long hours in an extremely stressful high pressured job and I ensure that when he gets home he gets to relax and chill with no stress on the flip side he pays for us to go on holiday usually to daughter and my first choice.
Between pony, daughter and work I get very little me time - I am just settling down when hubby is going to bed at about 10.30ish and am lucky if I go out once a year but that suits me as am not the type of person to go out for a meal/drink with friends and usually take daughter to theatre or concerts. My me time is the time I spend up with pony which I fit in between work and family life.
On the whole our set up works for us which at the end of the day is what matters.
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Post by flee on Nov 3, 2012 15:30:17 GMT
Well after reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that I am probably the luckiest woman on earth .
Mr F didn't know one end of a horse from the other when we met but can now do pretty much everything for our 6 ponies which are kept at home .In the mornings he mucks out while I ride , does the nets , turns out , brings in , field waters , poo picks and does all the maintainance jobs .Despite it giving him some pain in his hip these days , he also helps with the exercise at the weekends ( he likes doing the fastwork !) and has just announced that he wants to go hunting on Boxing Day .
He drives me up and down the country to shows and is my groom in the ring .He is often hi-jacked by ride judges because he gives the best leg ups in the world .He can get a pony undressed , tacked up and ready for the ring ,and then get it ready to travel and loaded to go home .
He was the 'first aider' at work which comes in handy at shows and he has saved a life on two seperate occasions ,a young girl who had a fit and an elderly man who was felled by a pony jumping off a ramp - both had stopped breathing .
He's a trained diesel fitter and is often to be found starting/fixing wagons at shows .
He is a brilliant father and has been perfectly capable and happy to look after our son and daughter from day one .When my daughter was 3 1/2 and my son was 20 months we fostered 2 sisters of 6 months and 18 months for 3 years ( 4 children under the age of 3 1/2 !) and he could cope with them all when necessary .It was Mr F's suggestion that I got myself a horse at this time ( my escape time ) .She was kept on full livery , for obvious reasons , but Mr F would come home from work every afternoon and take the kids and the dogs out for a couple of hours whilst I went to the yard - definitely helped keep me sane !
We are now grand parents and he will happily look after 3yo Elf and 20 month old Chewie , by himself if needs be .
On top of this he has his own business and his hobby is training for and competing in 'extreme ' running events ( so fit too ! BONUS !!!!).And , no , he is not ' under the thumb' and neither is he a doormat - infact he's one of the few men I've met who gives as good as he gets from me ( it may come as a surprise but I tend to have quite a lot to say for myself !).
Oh , and we're in the process of applying to foster again .
'Saint' doesn't even begin to describe him !
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Post by chalky284 on Nov 3, 2012 16:19:48 GMT
Flee, can I send my OH to be tutored by mr flee??? He is very good but hates the horse ( though strangely always wants to ride him after Ive finished a class??!) he will help me with fencing, stacking hay, shows etc and will under duress help with yard jobs.
His downfall is housework and he is very messy.
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Post by nia2311 on Nov 3, 2012 16:21:38 GMT
Mr Flee sounds ace - you should get him cloned and sell models for an over-inflated price on Ebay! Also its lovely to hear you foster - we wanted to do this, but were told we should have all our own children first, not to have any small children at the same time. We were disappointed, but will try again "when we're older!"
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Post by sometime on Nov 3, 2012 18:59:54 GMT
Must come from the same mold as Mr Sometime Flee they seem to have a lot f similarities I know I am very lucky and 37 years on so is he
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Post by flee on Nov 3, 2012 23:01:06 GMT
Think I had better point out that Mr Flee , though saintly , is not perfect , and all OH's should be considered 'a work in progress'.
For instance ,Mr F invariably fills the wood store with logs that are cut 2" bigger than the wood burner .Every year I ask 'but why not cut them 2" smaller ?' but to no avail .
I've no complaints about him pitching in with the housework ( he'll do loos, showers , kitchen floor and everything ) but it took me a long time to stop him proudly proclaiming ' I've hoovered YOUR carpet '.
When we first married he would bring me a cup of tea in bed in the morning ( I KNOW !!) but had me totally perplexed when he would announce excitedly ' It's a good drying day!' and then look somewhat crestfallen at my lack of enthusiam .Turned out , his mother ( with 3 children and a dolly tub ) would be beside herself with glee on a sunny , breezy day at the prospect of getting the washing done and dried .Had to point out that my lack of enthusiasm stemmed from the fact that we were living in a flat and took our washing to the launderette .He now only says 'It's a good drying day' in order to p*ss me off .
He has , also , ONCE , referred to me as THE WIFE ( about two weeks after we were married) , but I then spent the rest of the evening referring to him as THE HUSBAND , HIM INDOORS and THE LITTLE MAN to all and sundry .
Tough love .
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Post by parsnip on Nov 3, 2012 23:23:55 GMT
Ha Flee! Tragically Mr.Parsnip still gets excited about good drying days - even though we now have a tumble dryer! Fresh air seems to excite him! Will also tell all and sundry that an hour's poo-picking is the best central heating in the world ..... and leave all the doors open while the rest of us freeze to death.
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Post by gillwales on Nov 4, 2012 3:16:51 GMT
Flee you forgot to add that Mr Flee is an expert chicken hunter.....
mind best not to get the girls over excited or you will find that one of them has hi-jacked him!!!!
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Post by nia2311 on Nov 4, 2012 3:36:28 GMT
Please write a book Flee. I'd buy it and I reckon so would everyone else on here!! Just think of the millions you and Mr Flee could make - you could have a whole fleet of Janette's (not -alias) in your orchard, top HOYS ponies galore and holidays to far flung destinations, like the Seychelles, the Galapagos Islands and Skegness. And just THINK of the GLORY of your name, there in bold print in the bargain bin at Tescos. I can't think of anything more glorious!  |
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Post by parsnip on Nov 4, 2012 9:54:51 GMT
I'd get all of my friends and relations a copy!
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Post by lillicob on Nov 4, 2012 15:43:46 GMT
I too would buy it. Your story about Janette had me in stitches.
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Post by ruftytuftyrider on Nov 5, 2012 0:02:30 GMT
Me too, I love a good read especially one that makes me smile like your posts do Flee.
Maybe you could hire Mr Flee out to tutor husbands who are more a "work in progress" than others or maybe hire yourself out to those of us wives whose husbands are not making the progress they should have after almost 20 years.
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Post by flee on Nov 5, 2012 19:58:17 GMT
I'm seeing myself on a Monty Roberts style tour , doing join up with troubled OH's .......
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Post by nia2311 on Nov 5, 2012 20:22:12 GMT
I'm not sure Intelligent Husband-ship will work for all OHs. Some may require Chifneys or pressure halters to be used to lead them firmly in the right direction...........
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Post by sometime on Nov 5, 2012 23:31:54 GMT
Or even a big stick so not very user friendly
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Post by gillwales on Nov 6, 2012 7:00:43 GMT
hey you never know Sometime, OHs may LIKE the big stick.... remember 50 sheds of hay..........  |
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Post by nia2311 on Nov 6, 2012 9:57:10 GMT
hey you never know Sometime, OHs may LIKE the big stick.... remember 50 sheds of hay.......... I was about to suggest the use of a schooling whip.... very 50 Shades ;D |
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Post by parsnip on Nov 7, 2012 19:30:19 GMT
Dear me ..... I shouldn't have raised a cup of tea to my lips and read this at the same time!
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