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Post by sometime on Dec 8, 2012 22:42:03 GMT
Get a considerate instructor shouting wont be helping you need a firm but fair person who knows what it is to be afraid. I have an 8 year old scardy cat rider on my pony at the moment and she is making huge progress by constant praise the kid has terrible self esteem and is frightened of her own shadow the pony is as safe as houses but a big 13.2 highland so could scare the life out of her if she decided to do something bad as it is it is the kid that scares me as she tends to just do things that she was afraid of. She is now hacking out on her own with foot soldiers but disappears off in front by miles as we are always telling how well she is doing
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Post by judyh on Dec 9, 2012 7:09:20 GMT
I had a pony on loan for mt two..He was the sort of pony they could leapfrog onto play with in the stable and even pulled a sledge in winter. However once my son was off the lead rein this pony would buck him off for no reason. he nearly put him off riding. I rang a friend who lent me a brilliant school mistress-he hacked her out, cantering in massive open stubble fields,went on sponsored rides, pony club, showed etc. Had I kept him on the other pony his nerve would have been broken.
I would change both the pony and instructor. Also a great believer in lunge work for giving a good,safe seat.
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Post by sjw87 on Dec 9, 2012 8:06:37 GMT
Get a considerate instructor shouting wont be helping you need a firm but fair person who knows what it is to be afraid. I have an 8 year old scardy cat rider on my pony at the moment and she is making huge progress by constant praise the kid has terrible self esteem and is frightened of her own shadow the pony is as safe as houses but a big 13.2 highland so could scare the life out of her if she decided to do something bad as it is it is the kid that scares me as she tends to just do things that she was afraid of. She is now hacking out on her own with foot soldiers but disappears off in front by miles as we are always telling how well she is doing Ditto! I've seen a very similar situation to the op's and the best thing they did was chance instructor. Once the child's confidence had been nurtured, they were a fab partnership. The other thing I would question is whether the pony is in pain. Small ponies are often expected to just get on and deal with problems that horses aren't - does the saddle fit? Back been checked? Teeth? Seasons/hormones if it's a mare? People expect a 17hh tb mare to have behaviour changes when in season but small mares often just aren't given that leeway. Sent from my ST18i using proboards |
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sarahp
Happy to help
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Post by sarahp on Dec 9, 2012 8:47:45 GMT
The most essential thing is that your daughter regains her confidence. You know your daughter and we on here don't, as to whether she is a naturally nervous child or a brave one that has been frightened, but I'm with judyh, definitely change instructor and get rid of small pony which I take it is the one that now knows it can frighten her by bucking - you don't say much about the bigger one, may that be suitable longer term if taken slowly? I've had the second version child above, luckily we had a good instructor and made sure we avoided the over gung-ho ones at PC but split up the child/pony partnership that wasn't working and found the perfect pony, which did take some looking I must admit. She is now well grown up, breaks her own horses and has done open level PC and RC eventing and hunts.
Children vary hugely, some bounce and leap back on after a fall without a second thought, others are basically brave but are capable of being frightened and with the wrong pony and treatment will go off the whole riding thing altogether, and others will remain nervous but still enjoy their riding on a suitable pony. Only you know which yours is, and I'm sure you will work it out with her. And talk to her about it. Others may know (or think they know) what she needs but don't be persuaded into something you and daughter feel is wrong for her.
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Post by ilovenatives on Dec 9, 2012 11:12:14 GMT
Def change your instructor , i had the same problem with my daughter and her instructor used to shout at her and expect her to ride in the perfect position with perfect hands straight away . We carried on at home by ourselves for a while as i figured im not paying sommeone to shout at my daughter i can do that myself  . We found a new instructor (as there is only so much teaching i could do myself without us ending up shouting at each other lol ) and they have come on in leaps and bounds . We also had a problem with our pony bucking when going into canter but it was because my daughter tensed up when asking for canter and her legs went rigid so pony used to buck . We gave her pony the winter off and she was riding our sec a mare who is fab in winter but very seasonal in spring and summer . Come spring my daughter was a bit more confident and didnt clench up asking for canter so we had no bucking . Only you can decide which pony is right for your daughter and wether to sell the smaller one . Good Luck  |
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Post by rightrein92 on Dec 9, 2012 11:21:38 GMT
I was a nervous rider when younger I used to freeze in a blind panic I then got a lovely schoolmaster when I was 10 and he changed my outlook on riding after four months with my 13hh schoolmaster I was happily jumping 1m courses on him one pony makes so much difference and our PCM instructors were really easy going x
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Post by julie1967 on Dec 9, 2012 12:19:52 GMT
I had the same problem with my very nervous daughter and got a differant pony and she has come on leaps and bounds still a bit nervous but new pony does not take advantage one little bit and looks after her,also changed instructor and tried to make the lessons more fun and went back to basics,my son also rides and is the total opposite and i think thats just a bad !l
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Post by gillwales on Dec 9, 2012 15:18:38 GMT
I agree with changing the instructor and pony, at the end of the day this is meant to be FUN for your daughter, if it isnt then there is no point. Find a pony that she enjoys being with and handling, and to be really controversial let her try other hobbies. You could try going to a local riding school who have some safe plods to get her going again.
good luck
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Post by LMSmith on Dec 9, 2012 21:48:37 GMT
Agree totally with everyone else, get another instructor! An instructor should not be shouting at an 8 year old girl! You need someone who is willing to help her gain confidence again not make her feel useless!
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fmt
Full Member
Fitzwilliam
Posts: 302
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Post by fmt on Dec 20, 2012 22:32:18 GMT
My cousin was in a very similar situation. Her parents pressured her into keeping said pony and expected me to make it work- personally the pony should have gone too but that's another matter deep down you know the pony should go and build up with the bigger one. My cousin has done a lot of ground work with her pony to build back up her own confidence rather than the ponies and built up a relationship with the pony. Take everything back to basics, the lunge has been a godsend with someone in the middle and child on the outside tottering about up and down the school taking everything slowly. Most importantly is to keep it fun, we do a box made out of poles and pony has to stand in box for 10secs or we say she can only do 10strides of walk and then must trot, lots of bending around cones and transitions also helps. Fingers crossed for you hope all works out and remember time and patience and keep it fun |
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Post by justjay on Dec 29, 2012 21:52:32 GMT
we had problem with an instructor who just seemd hell bent on undermining confidence in my daughter. I listened in to a lesson one day whilst fencing and said thats enough - was polite to instructor but said we needed a change. After my daughter had done PC camp and passed her C test instructor said - oh I'll have her back - but no way
I'd change - or instruct her yourself
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. We found a new instructor (as there is only so much teaching i could do myself without us ending up shouting at each other lol ) and they have come on in leaps and bounds . 
