Daughter very nervous after a fall.

[salemsparklys]

My oldest is 14 this year, she has always been around the horses and is normally fine , but after a fall 2 weeks ago she has become super nervous. It wasn't a bad fall, few scrapes and she got a big fright, but she went super hysterical and made herself much worse than she needed to be.

Last night was the 1st time she would get back on after the fall, pony didn't put a hoof wrong, but my daughter was super tense and not happy. She did relax towards the end and I though all was well. Going back to the field another pony got loose and bolted up behind us, daughter screamed, dropped her ponies lead rope and legged it into another field while crying her eyes out, her pony stood still and did nothing.

Her pony is quite sensitive, she had a really bad past and can get scared easily by screaming hysterical children, but she did nothing wrong, just stood like a angel.

Any ideas on how to get my daughter to calm down and not get so stressed, she was horrid to her little sister who fell off last night, laughed and got back on, I know she's embarrassed as the whole yard was watching her crying, she's a hormonal wreck just now anyway.

[gilly]

poor thing, i would nt know how to advise as you say. it is proberly her hormonal time

[gilly]

i meant probably

[salemsparklys]

I struggle because we are totally different, I bounce and get back on, she doesn't, so I find it hard not to tell her to pull herself together and pack it in, which is the last thing she needs I think.

[lottiemayday]

My daughtet had a fall and I was advised to not push her dont make her do anything if she just wants to watch at yard let her if just groom let her and she should come back in her own time and try sitting on another pony...its taken almost 3 months but my daughters got her confidence back hope that helps its very tough xx

[casper15]

Maybe you could take her out on walks/hacks with you walking with her so she doesnt have the fear of the pony being able to run off etc and she might feel safer? Obviously we don't have the extent of her nervousness etc and what she will and wont do but maybe its worth a try or just speak to her over what it really is that she is scared off when riding and work with her in some way to sort it out?

[gillwales]

I agree to back off and let her do things at her pace, if only for the pony's sake. However what I would not tolerate is her being nasty to other people. I also agree a lot is probably hormonal, me thinks you are going to be in for a tough time

[orangetails]

Confidence is such a funny thing :/ If you're totally different and can't understand how/why she feels the way she does I can see it must be very frustrating for you! But I agree with the others who have suggested backing right off. Don't pressure her to ride (I presume she will still have to help take care of her pony) and just see what happens.

Sometimes I find just taking all pressure off myself to ride does the trick, and I am soon wanting to get back on after a confidence-wibble. Other times I find I am better if I have something to aim for - I used to belong to a riding club who had really good low-key clinics, and if I committed to those, I was too stubborn to not go! And inevitably I then would end up doing more than I thought I would - not to mention riding in a group environment like that is usually just good fun. I've only had one clinic where I got so nervous and tearful I got off, which was terribly embarrassing, but everyone was really nice (especially the instructor, who wouldn't have the first clue what nerves were if they slapped her in the face! and simply couldn't understand my nerves, nor see where they had suddenly come from out of the blue!) and after getting a leadrope to use as a neckstrap (which for some reason gives me confidence even if I never touch it?!) I got back on and had a really good time

Not riding related as I didn't ride until I was an adult, but I distinctly remember as a teenager that the more my parents pressured me to do something (revision being a prime example!) the more I prevaricated and dug my heels in (and then I ended up feeling guilty and pressured by myself and generally even worse!) I was not a 'difficult' or hormonal teenager at all, but there's something about parental 'nagging', especially if you're feeling like it's something you ought to be doing anyway, that just makes you feel like doing the opposite!!

[roxy93]

I fell off first the first time Properly at the start of the year and i broke the bottom of my back. still have pains now, The horse i came off is the newest member to the team, was only able to ride properly few weeks ago, and everytime i looked at him i was nervous thinking if i put a front no one will think im nervous, i also have other horses, i rode my trusty old mare, that helped a lot!!! i then got my other who is hard but i can still trust her started to ride her going really well, it came the time where if i didn't get on him i never was going to get back on! so i lunged the life out of him ( so you know hes going to be quiet) after that i treated like a breaker, jumped and leaned on, off on off on, then lay over and my mum walked us around, then i got on lots of pats my mum with a lead rope lead me around the fields ( felt like an idiot but it really helped me) and then i got off, i had been on him and he was very good. so now we are in a routine, I lunge lie over then sit then go! and it has put my mind at ease as i know he is in the routine and he will be ok! I am now looking forward to taking him out this year. I thought falling was going to stop me as never been in a worse predicament, but now i am back and i am enjoying riding again! bit sore and stiff but im happy! I suggest get back into a routine, even try mine! Hope this helps! as it has helped me alot!