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Post by 09rebel99 on Jul 9, 2013 14:49:21 GMT
I've been around horses the last 25 years.
I now just have my old horse that is retired so just a pet.
I have been competing on and off for the last 20 years and this year thought I would try some stewarding and judging to keep my hand in.
Problem is I'm so disheartened, fed up and knocked sick by some really nasty people out there that I'm thinking of giving up the lot (apart from my old boy as I've had him a long time) I have never really felt as bad as this before. It's got to the point where I get so stressed and can't sleep due to the nastiness of some people!
Do we think it is just the horsey world or just life in general? I suppose it all seems 10 times worse as I'm having a rough time in my own life at the minute and just don't feel like I even want to leave the house today :-(
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Post by honeypot on Jul 9, 2013 16:56:45 GMT
I have stewarded and done dressage writing for the last 10 years, and have thoroughly enjoyed it, it gives me my horse fix with out the pressure of getting one ready to show and I get to go close up to some lovely ponies. I have never had anyone be rude to me, perhaps its because I look 'robust' or I have just been lucky.
Sometimes judges have been a bit prickly, some like it their way and do not understand that you may have spent the last two hours doing it a different way and as a steward you are in charge of the running of the ring, H&S and must be aware if the ring is behind or too quick. I have held up classes because the judge has whipped through them so competitors have had a fair chance to get to the ring.
You will never please everyone you just have to do a good job and as long as you have done that and have been pleasant and treated everyone the same I can go home with tired feet and have learnt a little bit more.
I decided when I started I never wanted to Judge, because I like ponies and I love talking to people, and I do a lot of that. I like dressage writing and have written up to affiliated G-prix level, and the Judges have been lovely, the higher you go it seems the lovelier they are. If you feel a bit jaded I would have a go at that as you are usually out of the firing line or do bigger shows where there is more back up.
I was once with Mr Sharpley when someone challenged his judging after the class, after his ring had finished he said 'right I'm off to find her and tell exactly why the pony wasn't placed'. I would have loved to have seen her face.
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Post by 09rebel99 on Jul 9, 2013 17:32:01 GMT
I have and do enjoy stewarding and would have liked to progress and look at going on to a panel but I am now thinking far to much upset is caused to do that and I am not hard faced and don't like seeing nasty things being written about me and not being able to stick up for myself.
Just feeling a bit down in general about everything at the min :-(
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Post by Em5 on Jul 9, 2013 17:49:45 GMT
Best advice I can give you is to deactivate your account on Facebook as I'm guessing this is where your reading the comments that are making you feel this way.
Life is tough sometimes but don't let some spiteful few ruin you doing something you enjoy doing. Live your life for yourself and put yourself first for once.
Everyday think of something positive you have in your life and focus on that, set yourself small goals that are achievable that will make you happy :-)
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Post by 09rebel99 on Jul 9, 2013 18:11:39 GMT
Thanks EM5 you are right. I do enjoy it but how much upset can be caused over a rossette? I have met so many lovely new people this year but it only takes one nasty one to knock me for sick.
Tomorrows another day and hopefully things will seem brighter :-)
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Post by gillwales on Jul 9, 2013 20:49:05 GMT
tbh its people in general, its merely that it is the horse world that you have been spending your time
avoid adding the world and his wife onto your friends Delete the nasty ones and alter your security settings
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Post by calerux on Jul 9, 2013 22:56:29 GMT
Got to agree with gillwales, it's people in general. Everyone thinks they should have the earth because they're entitled to it, not because of hard work or earning it and it's the same in the horse world and my goodness there are some right biatches!
I too steward and do a bit of RC judging and have seen both sides. Most people who ask you after a class why you placed their pony where you did, accept your opinion and advice for the next time as they want to improve. Those who aren't interested in learning or getting better will stand at the ringside and pontificate loudly but haven't got the balls to come and ask you why or how they can move up the line because they don't need to, they already know everything and are always right! I'm confident enough not to let them bother me or I stand nearer them and the ringside which usually shuts them up!
I've also challenged these loud mouth boors when I've heard them criticising 'my' judge and asked them to take their gripe to the Secretary to make a formal complaint or move away from the ringside.
I've had parent grooms being really rude to me when I've stewarded HOYS classes usually when they are asked to go forward to conformation and not to keep the Judge waiting and they don't see why someone else can't go before them as they're not ready or chatting! So rude! Again, I'm not intimidated I am always polite but very firm and any issues are reported immediately to the Secretary.
You tend to find the same parent has been equally rude or difficult with other Judges & stewards, so please don't take it to heart or let them stop you doing what you enjoy. The majority of showing people are friendly, polite and appreciate fair judging so don't let this minority ruin your enjoyment and follow the advice of the other posts to avoid cyber bullying.
Good luck!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2013 5:56:41 GMT
Sore losers, jealousy and just general horsey people! I've found over the last few years I've disliked showing More and its due to a few people who spoil it for everyone. I'm Sticking to showing the dartmoors next year as its much more civilised and friendly. Chin up your always going to get someone who's not happy or has something to say, rise above it I know it's hard. I just laugh to myself at people who cause a fuss, unjustified Agro and hurt. You do a cracking job, don't stop because of a few socially inept people  |
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sarahp
Happy to help
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Post by sarahp on Jul 13, 2013 9:34:39 GMT
I've never wanted to judge, but have greatly enjoyed dressage writing for anyone who asks me. I have done dressage scoring a bit for the RC too, as in doing the adding up. You can learn a huge amount from dressage writing, and the judges have always been kind and helpful. They may have their own views on competitors sometimes but that's their perogative! Done a bit of showing stewarding too over the years, again the judges I had have all been kind and considerate to work for.
Perhaps leave the actual judging for the time being and stick to stewarding - or have a go at dressage writing as something different? I have found different sections of the horse world can be very different, never had any problems with the dressage lot. and even different breeds showing varies hugely as loulabelle found.
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Post by flee on Jul 14, 2013 16:14:42 GMT
I was going to say 'toughen up and grow another skin ' but then why should you ? You're a lovely kind , sensitive soul and that's what makes you who you are .It shouldn't be the nice people who have to change .
And anyway it would be hypocritical - we've just come home early from Great Eccleston (would normally spend a few hours there after our classes finished ) but it was our misfortune to be parked next to the most horrible , horrible people we have ever encountered at a show .In theory we should have just ignored them or given as good as we got but we had a child placed with us for the weekend so being confrontational wasn't an option and , in the end, we just packed up and left .They totally ruined our day and I'm angry with myself because I feel I let them .Why do people do it ?Low self esteem and a massive inferiority complex if you ask me .Just gotta big themselves up !
Good job I believe in Karma !
Edited to add that by a complete coincidence I have just realised that at least one of this delightful group is a regular on HG .
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Post by chalky284 on Jul 14, 2013 18:02:38 GMT
Why are people horrible?? What do they get out of it?? Surely it can't be fun for them! Flee I have experienced unpleasant people, I was parked in my little landrover and trailer next to a nice wagon. The family in it kept watching me prepare for my classes, it was my first show where I was on my own, they kept on remarking on my car and trailer set up loudly so I could hear. I felt very intimidated, they commented on my pony, my outfit. I couldn't wait to go home, I even thought of just sacking it off and going. But I'd paid my entry fees so I stayed. Showing is supposed to be fun, for all involved, so why some folk turn nasty is beyond me, jealousy? Who knows!
To the OP I would delete your Facebook account, continue with your stewarding and judging and enjoy it. There are plenty of us who really appreciate what you do, I know I would like to do some stewarding one day.
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Post by gillwales on Jul 14, 2013 18:38:31 GMT
Flee and chalky that is dreadful! Whoever spoilt your days should be ashamed of themselves, especially those that did so to a child.
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Post by 09rebel99 on Jul 14, 2013 22:09:57 GMT
Well faith has been restored this weekend after a nice weekend at uk showing!
It was spent with lovely friends who enjoy their ponies no matter what and they all have kids that loved camping and no matter where they came we all cheered each other on and had lots of laughs along the way.
This is my plan from now on, surround myself with nice people that don't mentally drag me down. This is our hobbie that we are suppose to enjoy :-)
Flee thankyou for your kind words, so sorry you had your day spoilt!! I suppose we all have bad days it's just made 100 times worse when it is someone else that has spoilt it!!
I also hope they read this and feel ashamed!
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Post by flee on Jul 15, 2013 9:22:21 GMT
Glad you had a good day rebel .
And now that I've had time to reflect on our day I think that I was as much frustrated as anything - the presence of our child meaning that I was effectively 'gagged'.That said though, maybe maintaining a dignified silence was the best option because even I was totally lost for a response when one of them , a mature 'lady' , called Mr F 'a f***ing tw*t'.
As I said , a delightful group .
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Post by catkin on Jul 19, 2013 20:43:40 GMT
I find this so sad. We need judges and we need stewards and if your hard work is being rewarded like this, it beggars belief. Please don't give up. Competitors need you!
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Post by eskvalleystud on Jul 21, 2013 11:29:16 GMT
Omg Flee, hope they read this and cringe but I guess if this is their normal behaviour in public then maybe not, shame on them and everyone else who is a poor excuse for a human!
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Post by horseyvon on Aug 17, 2013 20:19:50 GMT
It seems to be people in general these days unfortunately. Don't seem to bother about other people's feelings, say things without thinking of the consequences & a lack of respect / manners. Rise above it if you can!
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Post by ukshowing on Aug 31, 2013 14:31:07 GMT
09rebel99
Only just read this post.
And would like to add this............
I now know you personally, as you have stewarded for us at UK Showing, and are very welcome to Steward for us anytime at any of our shows.
You are a lovely person, kind and helpful, and totally professional in the ring.
DO NOT let these persons put you off doing what you love.
I`m glad you and your friends enjoyed the July show, but please don`t be put off by any body.
You are welcome to join us anytime, and for any other show secretary`s reading this 09rebel99 is one steward you should contact.
Jeanette UK Showing
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Post by waspblue on Oct 28, 2013 22:41:16 GMT
Best advice I can give you is to deactivate your account on Facebook as I'm guessing this is where your reading the comments that are making you feel this way. Life is tough sometimes but don't let some spiteful few ruin you doing something you enjoy doing. Live your life for yourself and put yourself first for once. Everyday think of something positive you have in your life and focus on that, set yourself small goals that are achievable that will make you happy :-) I'll never do Facebook for this amongst many reasons, it is the devil incarnate! Too many use it for the wrong purposes altogether. Just ignore them all and get on with what you enjoy. You are worth a hundred of people like that. Oh yes, if it all gets too much, then try this - just imagine whoever has upset you, sitting on the toilet with their pants around their ankles and you'll never take them seriously ever again..... lol |
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Post by waspblue on Oct 28, 2013 22:45:49 GMT
Why are people horrible?? What do they get out of it?? Surely it can't be fun for them! Flee I have experienced unpleasant people, I was parked in my little landrover and trailer next to a nice wagon. The family in it kept watching me prepare for my classes, it was my first show where I was on my own, they kept on remarking on my car and trailer set up loudly so I could hear. I felt very intimidated, they commented on my pony, my outfit. I couldn't wait to go home, I even thought of just sacking it off and going. But I'd paid my entry fees so I stayed. Showing is supposed to be fun, for all involved, so why some folk turn nasty is beyond me, jealousy? Who knows! To the OP I would delete your Facebook account, continue with your stewarding and judging and enjoy it. There are plenty of us who really appreciate what you do, I know I would like to do some stewarding one day. How horrible of them, I once had something similar happen to me many years ago, whilst at a dressage competition, only to have the last laugh on the perpetrator of the rude nasty comments, by beating her well and truly. God how good was that, I can still see her shocked expression when she saw the results even now, ten years later. |
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Post by maxandpaddy on Oct 28, 2013 22:55:24 GMT
I thought it was just me that felt intimidated and unworthy and that was when with a yard .....its weirdly good to hear others feel similar especially in the showing world Next season will be our first on our own...very scary!!  |
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