Why are children so nasty??

[Milliesmum]

I think you need to help your daughter to stand her ground without being as nasty as this other girl. For instance, to answer the comments with something like 'I don't like it when you say I'm a bad rider/my pony is rubbish/etc, it makes me sad and it's not very nice of you." If she could say something back in front of the other children it would make them think twice about laughing along with the bully. I would be very surprised if your daughter is the only child who she is doing it to, and it sounds like a bit of jealousy to me.

However, if it gets physical, then I do think you need to intervene, whether you end up falling out with the parents or not. Another tip, a friends son was being bullied quite badly at school, they enrolled him for judo lessons. As soon as word got round that he was learning judo, the bullies backed down! What a surprise!

[not logged in]

Mine's 12 and keeps getting snide remarks from an 18yr old, "spoiled cup hunting brat" comes to mind! Used to pinch her when on their own and often says horrid things to her and other kids. I jumped in and was accused of picking on an 18yr old! That's not good for " a middle aged woman" as I was told by the 18yr olds mother but what goes around comes around! My 12 yr old was at a pc party and the 18yr old said " Hello you look nice" and mine replied loudly " Yeh not bad for a " cup hunting spoiled brat"!!!! A lot of people heard and remarked that it was nice to see the tables turned!
My advice, stay well clear before it really upsets you little one

[shelleyj]

we had one of those too fayeandash, the best thing I can suggest is to steer well clear, wish we had done it sooner!

[gladys]

Oh dear, i always wounder why kids are so nasty, is the way they have been brought up, always tried to teach mine to be polite, friendly etc, but it all goes out the window when they get to school, having worked at school some things never cease to amaze me and its the kids whose parents think the sun shines out, are the worst, and low betide anyone who says anything. having 3 children age 10, 18,and 21, i can tell you it doesn't get any better, my daughter went away to college, 1st year fine , this term new girl in accommodation is just foul to her turns off her slow cooker, pushes things under the door, and generally makes things unpleasant, i had to step in yesterday, and call the uni theres a meeting on Thursday, but even the chap i spoke to said they will be sweetness when questioned, so i don't know what the answer is

[Polite and firm]

There is a little bit of posertive about what your daughter is experiencing this will teach her resiliance and tollerance of this and other poor bully who will live there life doing this to other children/adults and never be happy. Your daughter will gain a life skill that we unfortunatlry need in later life to deal with these people. I must say i would need to mention the sand incident to the childs mother because without her knowing how can she challenge her little bully about her behaviour. If you feel this is all to much for your daughter it is your role in life to protect her from harm and the responsibility is your alone, so be verbal and challenge or just opt out of the relationship. i do feel posting this on this forum is inappropriate as pople may just be aware of the child you are disrespecting and colluding with by taking your daughter to be her her company.

[myhorselizzie]

Not all kids are nasty... in fact i think you title of this thread is quite discrimating towards kids - not all of us are bad... justs the odd ones.
If I was you i would stand up for your daughter and talk to them parents... you daughter comes first not staying in the good books with her parents... you child is more important than them surely.
Try and talk to her about standing up for herself, it'll help her later on.
xx

[ammevo]

myhorselizzie, such wise words from someone so young ...have karma.

[franekins]

as much as you wouldnt want your daughter giving back chat to the girl id be telling her to do it.
the only way kids grow up to be respected and bot be bullied nowadays is if they stand up for them selfs, and dont let bullys bully them. They dont need to be nasty and cocky by all means but if the bully comes out with a snide remark get your child to give her a witty one back, it will soon shut the vbully up.

[hottoddy]

I would speak to girls parents and explain that you dont want to make a fuss but its causing an issue - if it continues you will not be sharing a box with them. They will go one way or another, they can either sort it or fall out with you, in which you have to question your friendship!

[Milliesmum]

I would just like to add, yes you would naturally want to protect your children. But I do think that dealing with bullies is a skill they need to learn, we meet the bullies in all walks of life and our parents are not always there to help us out. My youngest son (he's 6) came home from school after 'anti-bullying week', I was tickling him and he put his hand flat in front of my face and went 'STOP, I don't like that!'. I was gobsmacked, but when I thought about it, really impressed!

[s.smith]

What I think is comical, is how embarassed this girl will be at her actions when she is older.
There is such thing as karma (not just on horse gossip) but what comes around, most certainly goes around and this girl will sooner or later say the wrong thing to the wrong person and karma will give her a nice clip round the ear (literally or metaphorically, whatever your perception!)

[morwenstowstud]

My daughter also has a 'friend' who, to be blunt, is just a nasty piece of work. She's going to grow into an incredibly spiteful nasty adult. She takes advantage of my daughter at every turn, and blames my daughter for whatever trouble she's got herself into. This little girl is increibly sneaky as well and is an angel in the eyes of her parents, even though reality is she's a lying theiving little cow. I've asked my daughter to find nicer friends, told her she is being used, and explained she will never be happy at school while she is friends with this spawn of the devil.
Sadly my daughter is on the autistic spectrum and doesn't really see when she's being used and bullied. Some children are just plain nasty.

[fayeandash]

I have now deleted my original post as i have decided how i am going to deal with the situation, i can't change the past, and have now left it a little late to bring up the sand being shoved in my daughters mouth incident with the parent of the child, and all the nasty remarks my daughter has had to put up with, but i can stop this happening in the future (fingers crossed) the little girl luckily doesn't live close by - so they can only see each other if i take my daughter to her house, they also don't go to the same school, so i have decided i will never leave my daughter alone with the child - no matter how much she pesters, and hopefully this will put an end to the bullying.

morwenstowstud - i hope your daughter eventually see's that the spawn of the devil is not a true friend, i know how difficult it can be to persuade them not to mix with these kinds of children, my daughter doesn't have any learning difficulties, but she finds it very difficult to see any bad in anybody, at school she is the one comforting the child that has been bullied, she's no way an angel but she does know how to treat people, i just hope she doesn't retaliate and become a bully herself.
Thank you to everybody who has offered advice, and to all the lovely pm's i have recieved, i have managed now to calm down a little xx

[myhorselizzie]

Jan 27, 2009 18:48:16 GMT ammevo said:

myhorselizzie, such wise words from someone so young ...have karma.

Thank you ;D