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Post by Decisions? on Mar 2, 2015 21:26:29 GMT
My child was born with a cosmetic defect that doesn't effect her in any way but I fear other children will tease her for when she is older. I have the chance now to have it removed but should I? Or should I let her choose when she's old enough to decide? It's a very low risk op but does involve a general anaesthetic. To be clear, I don't care but I don't want her to hate it and wish I had done something when I could have. What would you other mum's do?
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Post by chalky284 on Mar 2, 2015 21:56:54 GMT
Depends on what it is, is it a strawberry mark?? If so I do know that they often fade and shrink with time. But there are very good results with surgical removal. Hard decision to make, I'm sure you'll make the right one.
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Post by Em5 on Mar 2, 2015 22:06:39 GMT
My daughter had a strawberry mark which was quite big and raised, she is now 10 and it's barely visible.
Always a difficult decision when it's your child your making the decision for.
Good luck
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Post by dawnie on Mar 2, 2015 22:20:31 GMT
We all want to do the best for our little ones and it's hard. If it is something that is clearly visible and can be easily removed then if it were my child I would chose to have it removed. Not only are kids horrid but the names they make stick. I knew somebody had very sticky out ears, and awe she went though awful name calling and bullying for it. She was operated on when was about 12 if I remember rightly (I think they had to wait till a certain age ) The names carried on for ages after. She also hates any of the photos from her childhood.
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Post by ukshowing on Mar 3, 2015 11:49:46 GMT
A terrible situation for you to be in, I personally wouldn`t have any surgery at all for any reason other than medical and lifesaving... But if any of my girls where in your child's situation I don`t know what I would do. It`s not just children who are cruel but adults also. I really feel for you and your child, In the end you will make the right decision be it surgery or not.
Good luck to you and yours.
Jeanette
Sorry not much help was I ?
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Post by roxy93 on Mar 3, 2015 11:58:29 GMT
I suppose this is one for you to decide on what is best for you daughter, we all now how bad schools can be with name calling and bullying by just hair colour or something even pettier. I wish i would of had work done when i had chance when i was younger and i could of had it for free but now i have to save and pay for the work myself so is a long wait now.
Good luck in whatever you decide x
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Post by tillyfloss on Mar 3, 2015 17:20:08 GMT
My daughter had a very pronounced "outie" belly button when she was born. Was proven to be a small hernia, it wasn't shrinking after 5 years, I took the decision when she was 5 to take the operation (with a general) to stitch it up and give her a more traditional "inny" she bounced back super quick afterwards and I don't regret for a moment putting her through an op and as stated kids are so cruel and petty, I am glad now she had it done then and not later. She is now 9.
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Post by Louise Dixon on Mar 3, 2015 17:51:17 GMT
It is such a difficult decision to make. My older son was born with various issues relating to his urinary tract, some surgery was essential, but some was cosmetic - not so likely to have affected him as a child, but we felt as an adult it could have such a devastating effect on his self esteem, that we would go for it. We were initially able to combine it with some of the essential surgery, but more operations were necessary, and having read up on the feelings adult men with similar conditions had, and how it had affected their ability to form relationships and live happy lives, we came to the conclusion we had no choice - the operation was unlikely to be a success if it was left until he was old enough to understand. But there is no denying that when they'd told us op no. 2 would be 3 hours and we had heard nothing after 5 that was some of the most awful time of my life, as I had chosen to put him through that.
Research thoroughly, then make your decision - whatever you do, you will do because you believe it is for the best. Good luck.
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Post by silvester on Mar 3, 2015 19:37:27 GMT
My son was born with a mishaped head and his forehead in particular was very odd. We ummed and ahhed as his op (at 3) was quite major and pretty gruesome. I'm actually so pleased we did it. He knew nothing about it, the hospital were amazing, he bounced back within days and it really was over and done with very quickly, professionally and painlessly, and the results were great. I'd say anything that could improve the quality of life at a later date is worth it. I worried how I would feel if he had to choose to have an op as a teenager when it would have been a bigger deal
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Post by fanfarefan on Mar 3, 2015 20:39:21 GMT
a little op now , will be a big op later ,,,, however only you can decide ,,, all the best sx
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