Horse husbands and horse women??

[bindi1985]

Bit of a long one. Stay with me .

I am at a small yard along with my husband. There are about 7 of us in total. He is the only man that owns horses and rides.
Everything was going fine until a few months ago. My good friend is at the same yard. We have a good working relationship. Help each other out and used to often ride together.
She bought the same breed horse as my husband. And suddenly she started to lean towards him.
Finding reasons to message him about tack. Saddle fittings and so on.
I though, I'm just being jealous so get over it.
But this past few weeks it's become so obvious she's into him even he has his suspicions, not to mention others at the yard and our children.
She seems to try to get me out of the way. Always trying to find out when he's riding alone and will be there waiting when we turn up. Then will start hinting about going out with him. He's so dense he doesn't pick it up until she asks him. She even got me to ride with her at a stupid time in the morning on my only day off. Knowing my husband would take the opportunity to ride in the evening. And guess who was there, inviting him to go for a bareback ride together .
She started to belittle me in front of him. And my children. Very subtle but there none the less.
Using their breed of horses to try to talk to him and strike up long conversations. Ignoring me.
And complement him. Jesus Christ you'd of thought he was some kind of God. Oh he's been trying so hard to make sure things are sorted as soon as they go wrong. I don't know where the horses would be without him. You've got such a good man there.

She may as well be saying. I WANT YOUR MAN.

Now I can deal with all of that. To be honest it isn't the first time. Either single mums because he's such a wonderful father. Or other horse women because they'd love a boyfriend like him who also loves horses. It happens. He's attractive and gentle. They have good taste. But never crossed a line.
She tried earlier in the week to temp my husband on going on a very fun ride a good few miles away with a jumping field at the end. I would normally be at work on that day and our son at the in laws. My partner normally works that day as well. But our son and said he had the morning off. Her eyes lit up like headlights in the dark. And could hardly contain herself and carried on telling him everything she was planning to do the next morning. Said it was to test out the saddle. Kept on mentioning it. Tried all she could to get his attention ( he was ignoring it) and she really thought he was going to go.
I had swapped my shift for one earlier in the week so we had already planned to go riding after having a very rare lie in.
On the way home that night I couldn't help but laugh, does she really think can't see it?
The following day we were running really late. My husband had 4 messages from her about totally unimportant things that might need looking at at the yard. So wr headed up. Looked at the jobs. Fixed a couple of things ( a slow dripping tap was obviously very important to her to message him.) We got our horses , tacked up and went out. We hardly ever get to ride together. 2 under 9s and a 13 year old doesn't give us much chance to really.
Had a lovely ride. Got back and she was there. She was really upset. Kept looking at my husband who was busy with his horse. Speaking loudly about how much better the ride she was going to go on would of been . Then sulked.
I should not have to be competing to spend time with my husband. Nor should he feel like he has to watch everything he says and does. She is always watching him. Sending videos. With captions " horse porn". Or " so intimate " Subtlety putting me down. Or my breed of horse.Follows him around the fields. Cuts in on our conversation and pushes me out. Tarts herself up when she knows he's going to be there. always looks for him to back her up even when it's clear she's in the wrong. And he cannot so much as sit on the ground without her needing to sit as closely as she can to him. He looks distraught sometimes. Because he knows what she's up too. He knows I know what she's up too. And it's going to pee me off enough I end up needing allot of reassurance from him. So he cannot win. And I hate him that much pressure .
My gut instinct is to kick her face in.but that won't help haha.
I hoped that maybe letting it go and allowing her to get over it might work. It might still as I think the fact she looks dissapointed all the time when he won't leave my side when she's there could be making her think he might actually not be interested in her.
But then again it might not. We were out today and yesterday and she didn't stop.talking about him.
Your suggestion please.

Sorry for the length of this. It's been doing my nut haha

[honeypot]

I think you should tell your husband how you feel and then insist that HE sorts it out. If you do anything you will be the evil twisted witch that caused trouble. He could start by changing his number and saying if she needs anything to text you, he is tied up with family and work.Or he may have to be very blunt which men hate
I do not how you have stood so long, my husband is also lovely and other women just love him, he's good at DIY but not horsey. I made it very plain very early on in our relationship that I and the children come first, he is bit of a plank where people are concerned and would do things for people without thought and leave me in the lurch. The attention is not their fault, if they do nothing about it then it is.
My husband is older now, but when we were younger he had lots of opportunity to stray, I keep him on a very short leash, I just think prevention is far better than the fall out of something they probably didn't set out to do but will just cause as much hurt.

[brindlerainbow]

I would tell him your concerns but I would also tell her in no uncertain terms to stop texting him and if a job needs doing at the yard then she needs to text the yard owner. The other thing to casually but very regularly drop into conversation with her is how attentive your husband is in the bedroom department ( even if he isn't ). Those sort of women like to convince themselves that the objects of their lust are very deprived when it comes to rumpy pumpy and it is their duty to "help" them in that respect. Once she thinks he's getting it 6 day's out of 7 that will soon kill off any rampant thoughts

[bindi1985]

Thank you for your reply. Difficult isn't it. He is aware of it. And God love him, he is doing everything he can to avoid her. He's even out riding in the rain as he knows she's been asking me if he's out tonight. She knows he is . It's his day.
He will be blunt with her if she dares to put the moves on him properly or asks him outright. If he says anything before , we run the risk of her denying it and still making me out to be the witch.
Until then I'm not really sure how to go about it. It's a case of I cast my eye. Watch carefully and bite my tongue. The moment she does anything, she will be so very sorry.

[Philippa]

I wouldn't bite my tongue and your husband should put her straight immediately not letting it get any further but beware if he does, a woman scorned and all that!!!!! She could start to make anything up if he tells her.

[gillwales]

I would take her to one side, after talking to your other half about it and say that your husband has asked you to talk to her as she has been your friend, Tell her that he finds her "come ons" embarrassing, emphasis that you have both talked about the problem and that she should not be contacting him regarding jobs at the yard. Make it clear that you both are particularly cross about her behaviour in front of your children. Make it clear that it is not the first time and that your husband has not said anything to her previously because of your prior friendship which is now over. Block her number on all of your phones, I know this can be done but not certain how! Tell your YO of the problem. Make it clear that others have been informed; with a bit of luck she will move away. I do think that your husband should be telling her to leave him alone, but if he can't then you do it. I agree with Philippa that she could try making trouble with false accusations. Good luck

[ar6083]

I can understand your frustrations but she is hilarious! How old is this woman acting like a love sick teenager? Your Hubby could just ignore her messages and tell her to take it up with the owner of the yard or a professional horse trainer to help her wth her horse?

You could also be shadey as to her and ask how her love life is going and maybe she should look further that the seven person yard for a partner!

Hope you got it all sorted and you get to enjoy your horse and husband in peace now!