Post by lighter1 on Aug 2, 2017 15:59:01 GMT
Hello Everyone, Many thanks for looking at my thread... being the first one and a bit nervous to ask this but here it goes...
I was working for a private yard well kind of private mainly dressage horses and eventers... yard is based in the UK for anyone who wanted to know that...
I was working for them (the couple who own it) who are riders and trainers so i obviously wont tell names as this would be unprofessional on my part and i dont want that. I will go below to what i want advice on.
I was working for this couple for a few months, there was not just me there, their was a few of us as grooms, and a suposid yard manager, but thats another story...
I was a single guy at the time, love horses and always have, found myself with no work at the time, and rang around the area that i was living in, found this yard with an amazing set up for a private facility anyway... literally couldnt believe it.... they asked my experience at interview and said you can live in ....... which at the time was a god send because i was literally going to be homeless... (they didnt know this) and also i was mega broke at the time too....
I started work here like 2 days later having moved in on the previous evening, accomodation was good for what it was.... large mobile home which i shared with one other.... this was great we had some real laughs in the evenings. I was told that we would start work at 6am the next day by the yard manager (Head Girl) who was ok to begin with..... Then it all went wrong ...
At first... i think the husband thought i was after his wife... hahaha fat chance of that .... anyway... also im a gay!! anyway he seemed suspicious .... my bf at the time came over and picked me up and he had a nice sports car... obviously had money etc... this was on a rare night off when he came to collect me.... funny thing is when i came back the next day to the yard.. the husband of the women who ownes the place asked me who it was that picked me up... so i told him ... thats my partner.... he said back to me ... hes got a decent car... obviously money... and laughed.... i walked away laughing ... but inside i was thinking .... what a wally.... if that was ment to be an ice breaker... flawed to say the least...
anyway time went on and the woman started picking at my work.... stupid things like bandaging.... i mean ive bandaged horses like my whole life since i was a kid and am a HND in sports and performance horse management and training.... bandaging to me comes a bit naturally nowadays...
then this picking got worse.....
till one day... i was riding one of the horses in the indoor... and there was a professional rider and trainer who was independant and he was stationed at the same yard but as a permanent he had his own horses, he was in the indoor too... and the woman who i worked for was also riding.... i worked the horse in correctly then let him walk and stretch and then picked him up to do some work with him i was doing alot of push and collect work with him and the horse who was not experienced at all seemed to just go with it completely... thank god! the other professional rider turned round to the woman and said to her ..... wow where did you find this guy... he can really ride and he is really good..... she smiled at him... and said i know thats why i employed him.... the other professional rider said to me you can come and ride for me you are really really good and dont ever let anyone tell you you are not... he then looked over at the woman who was not paying attention and said to me.... just be careful
I should have headed the warning !!!
A few days after, i was called into the office by the owners and some stupid brainwashed woman who told everyone she was a dressage rider, yet never rides any horse because .... well shes a bit large to do so ..... ! but thats another story!
The three of them were in the office together... the brainwashed woman said to me well we think you are lying about your experience..... baring in mind i have sound knowledge, college and university degrees in equus.... and more!
I asked why... and she said because one of your references has not come back which means that you have given false details.... i mean really how stupid can you get... for starters... they might not have actually read your email.... by this point i was sick of the three of them... i had done so much like to the point where i had worn out a pair of boots in the space of a week.... ridden more horses than i care to remember, hurt myself by dealing with young horses that were not that well behaved at all and so would attack given a moments notice as they were unhandled prior to me getting there....
the yard manager (Head Girl) saw me when i came out of the office... she said to me .... I didnt know what they were going to say... but i do now.... at this point i really didnt care anymore... I said to her... so thats why you were sitting in the (Husbands) car, the other night, in the car park when i got back from visiting friends, which is when i saw you... oh not to mention, pointing and laughing with him.... what were you on a car date or something...!
she literally didnt reply anything.... as i walked down towards the stable yard and accomodation again the wife appeared from around the yard bit and come over to me like literally walked straight towards me she had obviously been crying somewhat.... she said... its not my fault, she gave me a hug and said its out of my hands.... right hang on a minute... you own the place! ....2) your minted 3) you are the ultimate boss of all 4) these horses are all yours?
I had heard alot of arguements in the indoor school since the stables are just outside, which others had heard too.... !
Anyway, she then went onto say i hope that you do well in what you want to achieve, you are a good rider....... clearly she was smoothing over the ice.... she said i could stay in the accomodation that night and so i said thankyou, walked toward the accomodation..... went in as normal and then as if by magic... the husband turns up .... so called professional rider... yeah ok! saying you might be allowed to stay here tonight, but if you f-ing start you will pay for real....
I was a bit taken back by the comment.... since i had been polite the whole time i had been there.... and also to there clients too.... some of the clients had heard what he said so when he left the yard they come to check if we were all ok not just me which i thought was a nice thing to do....
Me and the girl i shared my accomodation with were sitting explaining what i had actually not done... when the head girl come in.... we all took one look at her and told her to bog off if for another word.....
Luckily i left... although i was sad to leave the good people and the horses, i was not sad to leave the site... i was glad!! the worst thing is this.... i have learnt that no matter what happens behind the scenes .... the way grooms are sometimes treated is really very bad and im happy to be out of the situation...
I am now 33. have my own successful business, out of horses, although i still have one! just to keep my toe in the water. I am happily settled down, enjoying life...... i am now not homeless and dont have to worry about being homeless ever again.... i now have money and dont have to worry about that either although im not a rich git.... i can at least pay my way...
But this is what upset me more.... when i left there... i can tell you .... the sense of relief was immense .... but who do you report it too.... there is no one to report things like this too.... which i was amazed ..... whos there to protect grooms, yard managers, or any other stable yard staff from bullying, gay prejudice, or anything else.....
I suppose i could ring the police and report, but whats the point its always your word against theres ..... not good enough in my book!
i know now that all my staff are treated like family, if they need something they can come and ask, if they want something all they have to do is say... i work in a high money volume business which i own myself, so i would rather staff just ask rather than take....
i know this is long winded, please excuse spelling mistakes im mega typing this whilst im at my desk....
kind regards to all
I was working for a private yard well kind of private mainly dressage horses and eventers... yard is based in the UK for anyone who wanted to know that...
I was working for them (the couple who own it) who are riders and trainers so i obviously wont tell names as this would be unprofessional on my part and i dont want that. I will go below to what i want advice on.
I was working for this couple for a few months, there was not just me there, their was a few of us as grooms, and a suposid yard manager, but thats another story...
I was a single guy at the time, love horses and always have, found myself with no work at the time, and rang around the area that i was living in, found this yard with an amazing set up for a private facility anyway... literally couldnt believe it.... they asked my experience at interview and said you can live in ....... which at the time was a god send because i was literally going to be homeless... (they didnt know this) and also i was mega broke at the time too....
I started work here like 2 days later having moved in on the previous evening, accomodation was good for what it was.... large mobile home which i shared with one other.... this was great we had some real laughs in the evenings. I was told that we would start work at 6am the next day by the yard manager (Head Girl) who was ok to begin with..... Then it all went wrong ...
At first... i think the husband thought i was after his wife... hahaha fat chance of that .... anyway... also im a gay!! anyway he seemed suspicious .... my bf at the time came over and picked me up and he had a nice sports car... obviously had money etc... this was on a rare night off when he came to collect me.... funny thing is when i came back the next day to the yard.. the husband of the women who ownes the place asked me who it was that picked me up... so i told him ... thats my partner.... he said back to me ... hes got a decent car... obviously money... and laughed.... i walked away laughing ... but inside i was thinking .... what a wally.... if that was ment to be an ice breaker... flawed to say the least...
anyway time went on and the woman started picking at my work.... stupid things like bandaging.... i mean ive bandaged horses like my whole life since i was a kid and am a HND in sports and performance horse management and training.... bandaging to me comes a bit naturally nowadays...
then this picking got worse.....
till one day... i was riding one of the horses in the indoor... and there was a professional rider and trainer who was independant and he was stationed at the same yard but as a permanent he had his own horses, he was in the indoor too... and the woman who i worked for was also riding.... i worked the horse in correctly then let him walk and stretch and then picked him up to do some work with him i was doing alot of push and collect work with him and the horse who was not experienced at all seemed to just go with it completely... thank god! the other professional rider turned round to the woman and said to her ..... wow where did you find this guy... he can really ride and he is really good..... she smiled at him... and said i know thats why i employed him.... the other professional rider said to me you can come and ride for me you are really really good and dont ever let anyone tell you you are not... he then looked over at the woman who was not paying attention and said to me.... just be careful
I should have headed the warning !!!
A few days after, i was called into the office by the owners and some stupid brainwashed woman who told everyone she was a dressage rider, yet never rides any horse because .... well shes a bit large to do so ..... ! but thats another story!
The three of them were in the office together... the brainwashed woman said to me well we think you are lying about your experience..... baring in mind i have sound knowledge, college and university degrees in equus.... and more!
I asked why... and she said because one of your references has not come back which means that you have given false details.... i mean really how stupid can you get... for starters... they might not have actually read your email.... by this point i was sick of the three of them... i had done so much like to the point where i had worn out a pair of boots in the space of a week.... ridden more horses than i care to remember, hurt myself by dealing with young horses that were not that well behaved at all and so would attack given a moments notice as they were unhandled prior to me getting there....
the yard manager (Head Girl) saw me when i came out of the office... she said to me .... I didnt know what they were going to say... but i do now.... at this point i really didnt care anymore... I said to her... so thats why you were sitting in the (Husbands) car, the other night, in the car park when i got back from visiting friends, which is when i saw you... oh not to mention, pointing and laughing with him.... what were you on a car date or something...!
she literally didnt reply anything.... as i walked down towards the stable yard and accomodation again the wife appeared from around the yard bit and come over to me like literally walked straight towards me she had obviously been crying somewhat.... she said... its not my fault, she gave me a hug and said its out of my hands.... right hang on a minute... you own the place! ....2) your minted 3) you are the ultimate boss of all 4) these horses are all yours?
I had heard alot of arguements in the indoor school since the stables are just outside, which others had heard too.... !
Anyway, she then went onto say i hope that you do well in what you want to achieve, you are a good rider....... clearly she was smoothing over the ice.... she said i could stay in the accomodation that night and so i said thankyou, walked toward the accomodation..... went in as normal and then as if by magic... the husband turns up .... so called professional rider... yeah ok! saying you might be allowed to stay here tonight, but if you f-ing start you will pay for real....
I was a bit taken back by the comment.... since i had been polite the whole time i had been there.... and also to there clients too.... some of the clients had heard what he said so when he left the yard they come to check if we were all ok not just me which i thought was a nice thing to do....
Me and the girl i shared my accomodation with were sitting explaining what i had actually not done... when the head girl come in.... we all took one look at her and told her to bog off if for another word.....
Luckily i left... although i was sad to leave the good people and the horses, i was not sad to leave the site... i was glad!! the worst thing is this.... i have learnt that no matter what happens behind the scenes .... the way grooms are sometimes treated is really very bad and im happy to be out of the situation...
I am now 33. have my own successful business, out of horses, although i still have one! just to keep my toe in the water. I am happily settled down, enjoying life...... i am now not homeless and dont have to worry about being homeless ever again.... i now have money and dont have to worry about that either although im not a rich git.... i can at least pay my way...
But this is what upset me more.... when i left there... i can tell you .... the sense of relief was immense .... but who do you report it too.... there is no one to report things like this too.... which i was amazed ..... whos there to protect grooms, yard managers, or any other stable yard staff from bullying, gay prejudice, or anything else.....
I suppose i could ring the police and report, but whats the point its always your word against theres ..... not good enough in my book!
i know now that all my staff are treated like family, if they need something they can come and ask, if they want something all they have to do is say... i work in a high money volume business which i own myself, so i would rather staff just ask rather than take....
i know this is long winded, please excuse spelling mistakes im mega typing this whilst im at my desk....
kind regards to all
