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Post by PdOff on Oct 8, 2009 21:29:03 GMT
Bit of background information first.
Me - easy going, not over confident with large horses, safety concience and always right lol.
Other Half - Quick tempered, sense of humour though, very confident fearless rider and thinks hes always right!
The incident - Im sitting relaxing as have really bad period pains, this he knows, he lands at door with big horse 16.2 that hes breaking and asks can i hold him while he leans over his back, im not happy about this but go anyhow.
He leans over horse back which has never been leaned on before can i add, and with NO HAT! I mention hat but no response, im then asked to lead horse round and round yard, do this for a few minutes, horse ok.
Then he decides he will cock leg over horse back, im not happy as no hat and doing too much too soon, he does this horse still ok and i lead it round yard for another few minutes but feel very nervous.
Then he says can i lead horse down the lane!! I say no GET OFF! He then jumps off and says YOU ARE NO HELP in a nasty tone! So i say bugger off and stomp off.
Get in house and think about this and i am very annoyed so when he comes in i say as i am no help you will get no help for a month! i.e no cooking no washing no mucking out his horses when hes off to work early and i wont go and help him at his work either, hes not impressed lol but i think he will realise how much i do for him if i do nothing for him. I start off well and make him no tea so he just gets some toast his self ha.
Am i being childish or should i stick to my guns so he appreciates the help i give him and would you have done same with him wearing no hat?
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Post by PdOff on Oct 8, 2009 21:33:48 GMT
Lol, thats suppose to say swing leg over horses back and i cant modify post.
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Post by dipsey on Oct 9, 2009 0:08:48 GMT
I think you were quite right in what you did, he got away lightly, if it was me he'd have known about it, I've done alot worse than that in my time,but, lucky for me he left. he done me a favour,but, you dont have to go that far. As for the hat it's his life he's taking a chance with. What ever you do next if anythink, goo luck.
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Post by Tandy on Oct 9, 2009 7:09:30 GMT
doubt you will keep it up for a month, but do try to, he will soon realise how much you do, but I think you will do what I would and thats think of the animals welfare if he isnt going to muck them out or care for them as well as you would and you will start to do it all again, best of luck good on you for making the point.
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 9, 2009 7:17:14 GMT
This is why i do what i have to do, he does what he has to do, i cook for me at a time that suits and vice versa! Been there done it all for men! Going to do a jeremy kyle here, but you need to communicate, talk! Stamping feet and falling out is all fine and well, but it gets u no where, make him sit his ass down and listen to you! Its obviously quite upset you, dont let that upset build up inside as at some point you may well explode! good luck!
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Post by PdOff on Oct 9, 2009 9:25:09 GMT
Thanks guys.
Will try keep it up but was already starting to think perhaps i should make his tea and do nothing else though cos the mess he makes cooking something will be worse that cooking for him lol.
He feeds the horse before he goes to work but i muck them out for him in the mornings, at the moment they have access to a stable if they want it but they do loads of muck inside and round it then theres the field to poo pick, he does it late afternoon so if i leave it the horse will be ok and he will just have twice as much to pick up later in the day.
I agree cassie we need to sit and talk, if he had a hat on and i wasnt feeling so rotten it wouldnt have been so bad but he knows im nervous when hes breaking the big ones, im just not cut out for the job. In the meantime will stick to my guns, he's supposed to be hanging a gate today and doing a bit of fencing lol lets see how he manages on his own!
Thanks for your advice x
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 9, 2009 9:42:47 GMT
Good luck, just one thing left for me to say.....MEN!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! x
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Post by sageandonion on Oct 9, 2009 14:13:38 GMT
I have thought twice before I wrote this and it is not just this incidence, but in relation to the type of man who would behave like this.
Does he know where the front door is? If not I would show it to him and ask him for his key as he goes through it.
That is of course if his name is not Simon Cowell (in which case you should marry him before showing him the door) otherwise I can think of no reason to tolerate such arrogance.
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Post by dawnie on Oct 9, 2009 14:34:18 GMT
With that attitude ... hat or no hat .. think I might have been tempted to push him over the other side of the dam horse!!!!!! Being that rude to a woman with period pains is like taking your own life into your hands!!!!! Do nowt for him and pamper yourself with all the extra time you will have ... I mean .. you are going to have a lot of hours to fill aren't you... nice bath with some candles etc .. oh and a bottle of wine.
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Post by PdOff on Oct 9, 2009 15:00:57 GMT
Thanks girls you really are cheering me up, showing him the door has crossed my mind previously lol but he does have his good points. Hes actually out there now with the horse in the arena! if he comes to door i will just say two words one begins with f and the other ends in f lol. Infact i have an hour or so before i need start on my ponies, think i might go for a nice bath dawnie as you suggested and tomorrow when hes working i wont be going there to help him out thats for sure ;D
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Post by sageandonion on Oct 9, 2009 15:40:36 GMT
Unless his good point is he is wealthy, the door, the door, the door!
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Post by know what you mean on Oct 9, 2009 21:02:33 GMT
I know just where you are coming from. I had a OH who was arrogant like yours. Mine was non horsey when i met him but suddenly became a horse expert overnight and what ever I did was wrong even tho ive had horses all my life. He would talk to people like he knew everything about them and make himself and me look stupid, it used to make me cringe.
Since we have split up I see him for what he is and for the controlling pig that he was, I wish now I had stood up to him more. Like you I used to fall out with him and then still make his tea because it was easier, just like I did everything with the kids so he didnt have to because I knew it was stressful for him, and knackered myself out in the process.
Seen the light now tho. From now on me and the kids are all that matters. Go and have a hot bubble bath, eat loads of chocolate and make yourself feel better. Stand up to him and make him grovel. You were right he was in the wrong. Silly man should have been wearing a hat. All you did was care about him.
Oh god maybe I shouldnt be bringing on my I hate men attitude so much. just going through a bad stage!!! Good luck
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 9, 2009 21:07:54 GMT
Aah but think yourself lucky you just got an arrogant pig to deal with!! wish my ex was just arrogant, evil ********!!! lol Yep your right, best off with just the kids and you and chocolate and bubbles!! no bull****!!
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kayjayem
Happy to help....a lot
Posts: 10,046
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Post by kayjayem on Oct 9, 2009 21:10:29 GMT
Just a thought - maybe they don't make hats that big!!
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Post by welsha on Oct 9, 2009 21:12:13 GMT
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 9, 2009 21:25:02 GMT
pmsl !!
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Post by PdOff on Oct 9, 2009 21:54:41 GMT
Me too lol ;D Well he didnt come to the door to ask for assistance lol, i saw him struggling hatless to try get on horse but it wouldnt stand still at the mounting block so he took it inside a stable and presume he got on him in there. I thought how stupid trying to get on him anyhow with nobody holding him! Made him his tea and told him he was lucky to be getting any. I have to say though hes not all bad, its just everytime i help him in situations like this talks t :Do me as though im numb or something but if it was someone else he would talk nice to them. He talks to me nicely at all other times its just when im helping him with his horses, but hes ok when its my ponies, cant weigh it up really. It must be cos im not confident around his large horses he doesnt understand and he thinks im stupid and he knows best and gets bossy. I think hes run out of underpants cos i havent put the washer on and the dry ones are in the spare room on radiator and i havent put them away, he wont know where to find them lol. That will be interesting in the morning when hes looking for some
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kayjayem
Happy to help....a lot
Posts: 10,046
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Post by kayjayem on Oct 9, 2009 22:12:17 GMT
Keep on doing stuff but just don't talk to him - they can't stand the silent treatment and end up all creepy and friendly. I did the same to my dog today when she was chasing hens - I just walked off and left her and wouldn't speak to her, she's now my best friend and won't leave my side. Lack of attention is the biggest ego deflator - Go Sister Go lol!!!
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Post by dawnie on Oct 10, 2009 0:01:34 GMT
Just a thought - maybe they don't make hats that big!! ROFL .... nice one
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Post by mucky pants on Oct 10, 2009 11:38:33 GMT
Tried the underpant one myself. In my experience all they do is put dirty ones back on again. Disgusting species - the male!!!
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Post by JessicaT on Oct 10, 2009 11:38:52 GMT
He may just be nervous when getting on the young ones and it comes out snappy/arrogant towards you. Not defending him, just a thought. Sooooo gld my o is non horsey, pays or the lorry and occassional bags of feed. Thats it. PERFECT
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Post by PdOff on Oct 10, 2009 18:21:13 GMT
Yeah i suppose that makes sense jesskwa, you sound like you have the perfect partner ;D
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 10, 2009 18:26:59 GMT
Definitely, if you cant sort it out, go for a non horsey man, so so much easier!
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Post by JessicaT on Oct 10, 2009 18:36:41 GMT
Perfect, only because he doesnt want to know. Suits me fine, i do my thing and he does his. He doest moan im not there all day sunday and get up at stupid o clock to go showing, Best bit he cooks at the week end. Men are like children, my daughter gets very snappy at shows, nerves?
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Post by sageandonion on Oct 12, 2009 14:54:59 GMT
You sound like you deserve much better than that. I hope in due course you will post up that you have 'despatched' him and found a lovely new wealthy one or decided you are better off without one at all.
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Post by PdOff on Oct 12, 2009 17:34:46 GMT
Havent despatched him yet lol, but was very close to it last night! had to restrain myself from throwing all his clothes out of the door!
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 12, 2009 18:14:47 GMT
oh sod it just throw him out, is more fun burning the clothes after!!
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Post by gtr121 on Oct 17, 2009 21:16:36 GMT
Life is to short to be petty for long. Live and let live. Nobody is perfect.
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kayjayem
Happy to help....a lot
Posts: 10,046
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Post by kayjayem on Oct 17, 2009 21:22:16 GMT
Hope he now appreciates you for the goddess that you are!
(ps pm me for bank details for payment LOL!)
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Post by stormyskies on Oct 18, 2009 12:06:50 GMT
i have to admit i thought it sounded like nerves. if he only does it when getting on big young ones it sounds like he is nrevous but is too manly to show it so takes it out on you. typical.
My man is non horsey but has the added advantage of owning a farm with land and stables.
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