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Post by Ziggy on Oct 17, 2009 12:12:01 GMT
No this is not about any other children ,it is about my own. Sometimes I wonder where I have gone wrong, thier behaviour has been dreadfull this weekend and it is only 1pm on saturday!
Yes I know I should be stronger and not give in to them all the time but I am soooo fed up with them ignoring me, screaming and shouting, not doing as i ask them to, not tidying thier rooms and of my seven year old's backchat! Sorry to be such a moanie but with a stinking cold I am just not up to unruly offsprings today and just had to get it off my chest.
Feel marginly better for doing so.
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 17, 2009 14:09:48 GMT
go on strike, no feeding them, no picking up their mess, no washing, no ironing.
then shut yourself in your room with 1 of their MP3 players on, and a good book for a couple of hours.
let chaos reign for a while and when they are all hungry, bored with fighting with each other and starting to get a bit worried about the mess that they have made in your absence, get up, ask really nicely for them to help tidy up, and order them a takeaway to watch x factor with.
if that doesnt work, take em on a long 'autumn nature walk', and threaten to leave them out their if things dont change.
good luck hun!
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Post by dun4u on Oct 17, 2009 14:15:25 GMT
Bin there, done that!
It's my daughter's 40th birthday today and I'm afraid she is still very argumentative. I love her to bits but she still manages to make me feel in the wrong all the time and more incompetent as I get older. We do our best which is all we can do.
Yes, I agree with amumwithapony - try ignoring them completely; hard I know. Her suggestion about taking them for an autumn walk is a really good idea. Doesn't cost anything, will open their eyes to the wonder of the countryside and hopefully tire them out.
Good luck.
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 17, 2009 15:10:58 GMT
another good idea on your country walk is to dig a few old paint colour charts out (or raid a DIY shop) and tear out the pages with oranges, greens browns etc on it and (those paint mixing strips would be ideal) and give 1 to each of the children, then let them loose in a park or similar and tell them they have to find something that matches each of the shades on their bit of the chart, and the first one back to you with everything wins a prize! worked a treat for me last week with 4 bored children (not all mine)
then when they are all in bed exhausted reward yourself with a large glass of plonk and a bar of chocolate for being so darn Mary Poppins!
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 17, 2009 16:11:44 GMT
Dont have these issues! lol, i tell them and i mean it, dont do misbehaving here, they know if they are good, polite little girls, that they will continue to have nice things and nice mummy, mess me about, drive me mad, misbehave, sorry game over. I dont need to bribe them with their ponies or anything.
I refuse to tidy their rooms, if it is not tidy, we dont go showing as they will be too busy cleaning, dont have to ask it is just done.
And, i always reward myself with choccys and plonk for their good behaviour! lol
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dazycutter
Happy to help
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his Tongue.
Posts: 7,933
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Post by dazycutter on Oct 17, 2009 17:53:43 GMT
my pal takes her kids mobile phones off them if they are naughty... works a treat.. they are desperate for them back after a few hours.. try keeping them for a week.... RESULT
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Post by brindlerainbow on Oct 17, 2009 18:39:29 GMT
Try grounding them until they do as you ask them!!!!. Explain they have a choice...........do as you ask and things will carry on as normal or they can choose not to do as you ask but they must realise with the wrong choice there is a consequence which is being grounded. I work in a school as a TA and we have quite alot of training on behaviour management as we have some lively pupils!!! the 1 thing they drum into us is to offer children the choice but make sure they realise the wrong choice comes with a downside!!!!!! Believe me they soon learn but you have to be firm and dont give in even when they are having the mother of all hissy fits just stand your ground!!! Good luck  |
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Post by elliebee on Oct 17, 2009 18:49:49 GMT
My 6yr old gets me like this! As soon as she gets out of school she is demanding and doesn't listen to me if I ask her something, it's just like I'm not there! I cannot threaten her with you can't go down the stables as this cannot be helped most days she has to come with me, so I tell her I will lock her in the stable whilst I sort the ponies out, that normally works as she loves going to the stables and playing with her friend.
Your not alone in this one I think the girls are the worst, they do like to push their luck but why oh why do they have to do it everyday? xxx
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Post by Ziggy on Oct 18, 2009 11:00:03 GMT
Thanks all for very good suggestions! My problem is that I find it so hard to carry anything through! Yes I know I have only got myself to blame. I said something awfull to them all yesterday and my seven year old get really upset. Now he keeps bringing it up saying I was being mean to him! 'Mummy was very cross' I said 'sometimes we say things we dont mean when we are cross'. Now I feel like the mother from hell!
There were toys all over the lounge yesterday afternoon so I said to them all 'you five minutes to take these toys upstairs or mummy is going to put them in the bin'.
'Put them in the bin as I don't want them anyway' said my five year old daughter. Children!!! (so I did, she will be looking for her animal print bag soon)
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Post by sageandonion on Oct 18, 2009 12:03:52 GMT
Good God, I don't know how children behave like this (does that make me sound everso old?). My daughter, a 26 year old, would not have got past 10 years if she was that naughty. I never ever raised my hand to her, but there was a certain tone in my voice (it works with ponies too) which received instant attention and obedience.
Nursey, I do think you sound depressed and need some help here.
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Milliesmum
H G Addict
COCKERP00S RULE!!!
Posts: 23,901
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Post by Milliesmum on Oct 18, 2009 12:58:08 GMT
I find a ban from what they love doing very helpful, e.g. for my youngest, to be not allowed on the computer for X number of days, and everytime he asks to go on, I say no, not till whenever, can you tell me why that is, and he knows that whatever he did is the reason why he can't do what he wants to do. If I ban him and he throws a tantrum, the number of days starts going up, I soon find the tantrum is nipped in the bud!
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 18, 2009 14:01:43 GMT
as a mum myself, there is 1 thing that all mums have in common, and thats guilt!
we feel guilty for leaving them to go to work, especially when they are little, i know i did. then we fell guilty when we dont work, even if we dont need the money, as i felt i wasnt setting her a good example. we feel guilty if we are strict, and the kids are sat sulking or upset cos we wont let them do what they want, then we feel guilty if we let them do what they want, cos its normally not good for them (in my 5 yr olds case, too much tv). we feel guilty if we spend all day doing activities with them cos then we dont do ironing, washing, cleaning etc and then feel guilty if we spend all day doing necessary chores cos they have been left to their own devices.
dont beat yourself up Nursey, nobody i know would ever win 'mother of the year' award, and their kids are all pretty much normal. i always feel slightly jealous of my sister, who has 3 little boys. she adores children and everything in her house revolves around the kids, from how its decorated to what they do on a weekend, the boys have every latest toy to come out, she spends hours just playing with them, and every day of every school holiday they are out and about doing something fun. i feel i just cant compete with that amount of motherly devotion. however, on friday just gone, i arrived at my mums at the same time as she did, both of us with our offspring. her boys ran riot for an hour, wouldnt sit and behave and generally caused a fuss, arguing with each other and with her. my daughter sat with me the whole time, said please and thank you, and was an angel compared to the others, who were eventually taken home. my mum had a friend visiting at the same time and even she commentated on how well behaved my daughter was, and i still felt a bit inferior to my sister as she was taking them all out for cinema and mcdonalds treat on sat morning and i was looking forward to dropping her off for her dancing lesson, not because i enjoy taking her there just because it gave me an hour and a half to walk round town looking for my b'day present.
dont beat yourself up hun. whatever you said will be forgotten by them in a couple of days, and im sure they will say a lot worse to you over the years, especially when the teenage hormones kick in!
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 18, 2009 15:26:20 GMT
Sageandonion i have to say i agree with you never raised a hand and i tend to be the same with the ponies, it may sound rotten, but i dont ask, i tell.
Nicey nicey bribes etc are all well, but when kids learn, that if they do something good they get something in return, they learn to expect things, do they not get enough out of us without being treated for every bit of right?
But i hear it all the time, i.e " you can have sweets if you tidy up" not saying anyone here uses bribary, but i know lots of mums that do.
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Post by sarah00000 on Oct 18, 2009 16:31:27 GMT
milliesmum - I too ban my boys from the computer, if they are naughty. Works better than any other punishment. The thing is - boys and girls really are different species. I wanted girls, (to dress in pink) but got two boys. My boys are SO LOVING - dont winge, whine, cry or sulk. They love their mum to bits, even when strict or grumpy. They are however, pretty BONKERS at times. Very lively, boisterous, loud, silly, danger loving and manic. They are also TOTALLY BONE IDLE and dont do a thing, unless forced to. They would happily allow me to slave for them forever, couldnt give a monkeys about choosing their own clothes and would probably have me still wiping their botties, had I not REFUSED after a certain age!!!!!!!!! Girls - that I see, can be perfectly angelic at times, sitting reading, painting, drawing, eating nicely, helping their mums groom and tack up ponies etc etc etc They do also seem to me to Cry alot/sulk/tantrum/wine and be like little teenagers from about 5 yrs old? They also look fab in pink and let you put in plaits, hairslides and scrunchies, something that my boys sadly WONT HAVE A BAR OF  ? LOL |
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 18, 2009 16:54:57 GMT
Cry? Sulk? Tantrum? Wine? Nope not in this house!! lol xx
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 18, 2009 17:22:02 GMT
lovepink you can borrow my 5 year old for a few days if you want. she has long blonde slightly curly hair down her back that is very thick. sounds lovely doesnt it? now try brushing it twice a day every day, battling with french plaits, parallel pigtails and buns for ballet class. then wait til you get nits (4 times this term already and only been back 5 weeks) shes allergic to just about every nit lotion, so i have to go through it with a comb instead, which is torture for us both. and she refuses to have it cut shorter because 'hannah montanna has got long hair'
she is a very girly girl, dont know where she gets it from, as i rarely wear make up, have 2 skirts that i wear on holiday and usually smell of horse. she on the other hand loves anything pink,sparkly and pretty. she has more make up than me and always wants to wear skirts and dresses. she put make up on the other day to go to top shop! as she wanted to look pretty in case she saw someone she knew! at 5 years old. incidentally, while i've been typing this some youg girl just knocked on door, n asked if i want an avon book leaving,i said no thanks, as i cant use it, frankie saw the book in her hand and nearly wet herself with excitement, saying 'thats the make up books that nan nan has, we want 1 we want 1' so is sat now looking for presents for xmas. btw wots that stuff you can use as fly repellant in there? may stock up for nxt year.
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 18, 2009 17:24:37 GMT
Avon skin so soft spray!!
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Post by sarah00000 on Oct 18, 2009 17:57:45 GMT
amumwithapony - your daughter belongs to me!!!!!
I used to spend hours reading my mums AVON catalogue. She never wore make-up of any sort either, just bought numerous jars of the green hand cream!
Your daughter sounds just perfect for LOVEPINKS fantasy of girlie perfection. She could change her name to "princess" or something equally ridiculous and we could live in a world of ponies dressed in pink, horses dressed in pink and mummy/daughter wearing matching pink outfits and lovely sparkley makeup..........
If she saw my shoe collection, she would squeal with delight! I buy all the little girls shoes, from the kids section, (for me) pink, sparkly, strappy and DEVINE !
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 18, 2009 20:24:53 GMT
she's be in heaven! new plan for her pony is to not bother doing l/r classes next year, as the outfit is 'boring' and 'too smart' for a little girl, and she thinks id look funny in hat and skirt gubbins. so instead we are going to do fancy dress. she and her pony ros are going to be ballet dancers. she's gonna have the tutu, legwarmers, pink tights and i've got to spray her black riding hat pink with sparkles. pony is going to wear a tutu as well, and have her own legwarmers, loads of body glitter and pink nail varnish on her hooves, along with her tail in a bun and her mane in little plaits with pink ribbons. shes even drawn a picture of how they will look!
so im glad i bought a top class sec a, when nearly full coed coch mares were fetching big money, spent a fortune getting her leg operarated on so she was sound enough to ride agian and spent the last 12 months painstakingly breaking the pony in with her as the jockey, rather than send her away to be professionally done, so they would have that bond in the ring. cos in the summer we are going to be fancy dress experts! should have gone to the sales and got one off the meatman for £50 if i'd have known she just wanted a giant my little pony to dress up.
and BTW shes going to be a singer/actor/dancer when she grows up and her stage name is already Princess Frankie, so she wouldnt need to change her name. apparantly i'm going to be her manager, and dave is going to be in charge of taking the money for the tickets. me, dave and her nan can have free tickets, but anyone else has got to pay to go in, including the rest of the family. when i said her aunts and cousins might not be happy to pay, she said tough she needs the money, but they can have a copy of the cd, and get our uncle steve (not her real uncle in a peter kaye style) to do them a dodgy copy, cos hers are expensive to buy and he does copies for £2.00. from the mouth of babes.
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Post by robertparkerjones on Oct 18, 2009 21:43:41 GMT
You could do with watching a few episodes of Super Nanny....... simple but effective. At school I have a banner with the words 'The only loser is the stropper' Its true and the children soon learn if you're structured and consistent!!
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Post by sarah00000 on Oct 19, 2009 9:42:21 GMT
I salute "Princess Frankie" a true PINK girl after my own heart! I would love to see some photos of her and her pony doing fancy dress, think you should be joining in, as the leader, dressed as a FROG or something? Or a Pea?
Definately expensive well bred ponies are required for these classes, as a girl of "princess Frankie" s intellect has high standards!
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Post by kickon on Oct 19, 2009 10:00:55 GMT
Mmm? I use avon so soft to keep the bugs of the horses Great nat repellent ;D All this peace stuff is getting me down cassie30  |
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 19, 2009 10:02:39 GMT
Does it work on naughty kids? or, perhaps kickon, they could get the same treatment the mad dog got??> ??!!!! |
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Post by kickon on Oct 19, 2009 10:04:37 GMT
Think I was happier with the mad dog?
I could help! It sets solid when it gets cold ;D
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 19, 2009 10:06:03 GMT
lol...um, any suggestions to revive shot dog? |
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Post by kickon on Oct 19, 2009 10:11:31 GMT
Some of my damson gin should do it.
Had a swig last night and it nearly took my head off!!
Ive been heating it on the back of the aga so that it makes quicker!!
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Post by cassie30 on Oct 19, 2009 10:29:16 GMT
Please send me some!! LOL
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Post by amumwithapony on Oct 19, 2009 10:42:22 GMT
lovepink, that was he next arguement, what was i going to wear for leading her. told her point blank that i wasnt wearing fancy dress (she said i could be a queen) so she asked dave if he would lead her, dressed as a knight. no he said, i just pay your livery your mum does all the work. so her next idea was her nan (vagualy horsey when younger) if she would go as a fairy godmother, no said nan, im too old, but i'll come and watch you. so her next big plan is to go in alone, said if she practised she could maybe take her in hand alone. no she wants to ride alone. said i didnt think she would be ready (still very much on l/r at home, and will be til shes 14 if i've got anything to do with it) tough she said, i'll be good enough and you know ros is a 'true kids pony, will look after me, dont need lunging b4 i ride and goes in a snaffle' Just quoted back at me conversation i had with y/o (who we bought pony off in 1st place) when discussing l/r & f/r's. will have to be very careful what i say in future, i know she's pretty clever (isnt everyones own child) but didnt realise she was that quick. i have created a monster! will be definatley sending her your way is she carries on, hoping she grows out of it by the time she hits her teens and is happy to spend day in jods stinking of horse, like i was.
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Post by sarah00000 on Oct 19, 2009 14:54:07 GMT
amumwithapony - my experience of fancy dress rings, is VERY OFTEN total chaos, as a least one pony will get freaked out by all the outfits and decide to DUMP child and leg it out! Obviously, said pony - will find it necessary to knock over a few other competitors on its way out!
I think I am going to have to insist that you dress as a GIANT PEA or a FROG, purely for "little princess's" safety. Also - just think what a laugh we can all have on HG ?
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Post by hopeteam on Oct 20, 2009 11:40:33 GMT
amumwithapony - your kid has the right idea about showing, keeping it FUN!
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