Nursing home!!

[ada]

ladybird, i also empathaise with her, i know where she's at, i have been there, as she say's when they are not your own parents its very different, luke3 would not have posted on here if she didn't need to talk through her thoughts and feelings, sometimes talking to people in the same situation can be enough to put any problems in order.
if you read my previous thread you would know i have been there.!!

[Julie(luke3)]

ladybird & ada.. I can see where both of you are coming from. x I am grateful for any replies. xxx

[sageandonion]

ladybird, I do understand what you are saying and I think you did a very wonderful thing looking after your parents who were obviously very beautiful people who simply became infirm in their olden years.

I didn't mean to sound harsh, but my own mother chooses to be in a very undersirable part of the country, 100 miles away, will not move nearer to me and is fortunately in very good health, physically and mentally. Nevertheless, she expects me to leave my family and horses (who she described as "dirty things") to look after her as it is my duty as a daughter. My father who has passed spent much of his time disciplining his children which involved regular beatings, once fracturing my jaw, often for no reason at all. Apparently I now owe it to my mother to now look after her and my father would turn is his grave because I really now want to just be happy and not live in a very unsavoury place without my animals listening to a very bitter and twisted person.

My own daughter has grown up in a happy, loving and very nice home and I hope she will always love me as I do her, but I would never expect her to give up her life to look after me, I would be very unhappy if she were to do so.

So I think every situation is different and whilst we should all support each other, the choice must be for the individual to make bearing in mind the responsibility they have to their younger family and the right they have to be happy in their own life,

[chiefgroom]

I have read such sad stories on here ... makes me realise how lucky I am. My 72 yr old mum was widowed two years ago but has struggled through and remains not only independant, but does my housework on Fridays and my washing and ironing, as well as cook tea for my teenage children after school. I do pay her but obviously not as much as she is worth and you have all made me realise just how much I am taking her for granted. I'm going to go and tell her how much I appreciate her and give her a big hug. Thanks everybody for the wakeup call.

[sarah00000]

chiefgroom - you go do that straight away.........

some of us would do ANYTHING to have a loving caring mum, but sadly were stood at the bottom of the cue, when they were dished out!

[perfect]

Its so so hard knowing the best way to do the right thing. My dad duies 10yrs ago now and i was left to take care of my mum, as her sons are living abroad. They are the apple of her eye and she wont hear a bad word said against them. Up till 4yrs ago mum was in sheltered accom. i used to go every day, plus she had home help and meals. she fell and broke her hip. so when she was ok. she had no alternative but to go into a home. Sh has hated evey minute of it although they do look after her, she is now 95and getting frail. i hate to see her like this and all she askes is for her sons to come home as she wants to see them, but they wont come, as they dont want to spend that amount of money. iT MAKES ME SICK, its usually the daughter who gets the rough end and the boys just get on with there own lives. there is so much i can say but i dont really want to put it down on here. But i do sympathize with you, but the more you do the more they take you for granted, You must take time out for yourself or youl and up being mentally and physically ill. I do feel for everyone who goes through this...

[Julie(luke3)]

Well today took the buiscuit!!!! I am giving up running THIS nursing home!! I have been up all night with my poorly little boy and then today had to drive to an interview to be able to get my passport! When I arrive home at 2.30pm I discover that mother in-law & uncle have gone to town for the day

So what you say.... well for the last 3 days they have been in there beds being waited on with meals/cups of tea ect by muggins here. I have had enough!!!! Next time they will have to get things themselves or starve! Sorry rant over x

[sageandonion]

Thing is luke, next time you will do it again because you are a kind caring person.

[sarah00000]

Naughty naughty stinky pinky's are just like the character from Little Britain, who gets out of his wheelchaire when no-one is looking!

They were so ILL - that luke3 had to wait on them in their beds for the last 3 day, now today they run off and go shopping..........Erm - dont think so...........

Luke3 you have had no sleep at all - due to looking after 2 poorly toddlers. 2 young boys is a full time job, go to bed early and dont get up unless its for your boys! xx

[heathers]

OMG,they are taking the mick.i really feel for you

[sarah00000]

Hope you are leaving the pinker ponkers to their own devices today luke3?

[Julie(luke3)]

Thanks everyone xx Yes I have left them to sort themselves today! Got enough with 2 unwell boys x

[sageandonion]

I hope your boys are better this evening luke. My daughter is poorly with stomach as well.

[ada]

hope your little men are feeling better today. xxx.