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Post by Nikki on Dec 7, 2006 8:31:37 GMT
Dear Mum,
All I want for Christmas is to put in a stable packed to the rafters with hay - just for one day. And then I absolutely promise I won't resort to pulling hay out of my mates' mouths, I won't chew right through my haynets and I won't eat my bed (of shavings!). My eyes won't follow you around the yard making you feel guilty and I won't nibble at your friend's long golden hair - sorry I really thought it was hay. And, oh yes, if I have another baby, I promise I won't chase him/her away from any food in the stable. I will even try not to gobble it down so fast so that everyone will stop calling me 'turkey'. And when out in the fields, I won't try and hog 4 piles of hay at one time - actually that's no mean feat and if I say so myself I feel quite proud of myself when I have achived that. And if I do manage to escape, I promise I won't be found in the barn with hay up to my slender (not) stomach, having partially opened 10 bales. I don't think I can make any more promises than these but please bear in mind my memory is quite selective and if I do resort to these tactics again, please forgive me - I really don't want to be the source of bankruptcy by making you buy another 100 bales of hay to get through the winter.
Love from your 'companion for life'.
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Post by julie on Dec 7, 2006 15:02:50 GMT
Dear Mrs Thingy
As we have never been properly introduced and I have heard many two legged animals call you by several very odd sounding names, this title seems appropriate.
I have several complaints to make. Firstly, in my long career I have been used to certain standards. Up to this home I received regular exercise, regular meals, a clean environment and a high standard of transportation.
Since arriving at this establishment, I have been left unbrushed for days at a time, meals seem to arrive sporadically (and your state of hair/dress needs a mention too), often with a lack of carrot/apple, full of some ghastly powder and smelling strongly of garlic - and dont get me started on my bedroom. Your habit of throwing fresh bedding on top of old make make you feel better but the increase in height gives me vertigo. The disgusting cattle wagon you refer to as a lorry is a joke and I am ashamed to be seen in it - and you wonder why I come out as fast as I can!
My rugs appear to have been worn by someone else previously - and not a bather too.
And finally, that little 2 legged animal that rides me. Well, she is Ok but you cant blame me for taking off with her as all she does when riding me is sing [/i]and I am too old to put up with that.
In conclusion I have decided that I will stay with you BUT that I will be retiring at the end of next year - preferably in a big field with a nice companion I can bite, kick and generally terroise.
Have a nice Christmas.
Yours faithfully, TURTON KITTY FISHER, Spinster, aged 26yrs.
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Post by Thank You on Dec 7, 2006 16:37:15 GMT
I know that the Thread is A Letter from my Horse but this is toooo my Horse!
I just wanted to say a huge, great, massive thank you for making all my dreams come true, (Qualifying HOYS) enjoy your retirement Girl, I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! XXXXXXXXXXX
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Post by taken4granted on Dec 7, 2006 20:38:16 GMT
To my 'Maid Service', I am the wisest old bird in your yard. For many years I was the leaper of large bushy fences and the receiver of red rosettes and silk scarves- however, basicallly I got wise, far less energy is expended going round these ever sillier objects, tough for you that you happened to have me when I saw the light, but hey! that's life. I know you tried to find me another home but as you probably realised when people came to ride me I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE (be cool, no one got hurt), this is because here I am TOP DOG. Now I am a vessel for your your future ambitions, I am to give birth in May. I didn't even get to choose my intended, actually I haven't even SEEN him, just a very friendly vet- where is the fun in that? The mare next door to me says I am supposed to be having a coloured baby. Really. It seems I may yet have the last laugh.
Meanwhile.....
I am Top Dog with raging HORMONES. No one is allowed to get fed before me, or put in the field before me, if I am cold, wet or just bored I will stand by the gate and scream until I am brought in. I have an enormous appetite, I enjoy biting chunks out of my stable door (haven't you heard of cravings?), and the box walking pony the other side of me is driving me demented- thats why I kicked a hole in the partition last night.
If you come through this pregnancy with me with the right attitude, maybe, just maybe I may reward you next spring with what you want! Nem
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Post by chocoholic on Dec 8, 2006 14:11:53 GMT
To She Who Says That She Must Be Obeyed Let's start with the most important thing. I am totally in charge, and no amount of "will you behave", either being shouted or whispered in my ear at shows, will have any effect. I do not know what this place called "Potters" is, and frankly, neither do I care. Please will you stop buying Tesco value carrots to put in my tea. Only finest organic from Fourtum and Mason will do. This may have an influence on my bahaviour. My waistline is very important to me, like you I am on a permanent diet. This means eating as much as I possibly can despite what you tell me about the dangers of being overweight. Just look what it did for Dawn French! No, I will not speak to that strange man who comes down to the yard with you sometimes. I don't care if you say that he helps pay for my pedicures etc. I am a high maintenance diva so there! Lastly, my biting you on the bum (well it is a big enough target area) when you are picking out my front feet at night is not being rude or naughty. I am telling you to hurry up because I want my food!
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Post by sallyw on Dec 9, 2006 17:46:45 GMT
Dear Father Christmas, Thank you for the early Christmas present of a ball thingy with Lickits in but I have to tell you I am not entirely happy with it. I know I windsuck and you thought it might be nice for me to do something else instead but this thing - I ask you! The thing goes round when I try to lick and I can't get at the sweety stuff fast enough. Anyway, just to let you know that I got it off the wall tonight. I can now stan d on it with my front foot whilst i get hold of the lickit with my teeth and pull it out whole. Please send me lots more lickits on Christmas day but don't bother with another ball thing. I aslo want a rambler all to myself as I havn't managed to catch one in my field this year . I also want better carrots than I'm getting and seed hay not the meadow rubbish we are fed. And please send me another girl groom that I can bully its such fun, I can't understand why the last one left. Failure to comply will mean that I will let myself out and eat the chickens food! Lots of love from a 20 year old super star.
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Post by Isla@fiowen on Dec 9, 2006 18:03:36 GMT
dear father christmas, i have been such a good pony this year ;D so far i have only scared the rider who was ment to ride me, well what can i say she didnt have any super glue stuck to her bum , please also tell my mommy that i am a stallion and that i dont do pink, rugs, bandages etc..i have gone to shows and been deeply embarresed . i do love embarrassing my handler, when she isnt looking and is doing my rugs up i like to bite her , and doing lap of honours are so fun ;D i love pretending im a spanish horse by jumping off all 4's so please santa get me a new owner who doesnt tell me off for being such a pain in the bum ;D i love her really
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