cheeky
Junior Member
Posts: 100
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Post by cheeky on Dec 11, 2006 11:26:48 GMT
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cheeky
Junior Member
Posts: 100
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Post by cheeky on Dec 11, 2006 11:28:28 GMT
ps just looked at the karma thing !
feelin the love guys !!!!!!
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Post by princess on Dec 11, 2006 11:41:45 GMT
They are soooooooooo funny, ive karmared you!!
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Post by JadeCannon on Dec 11, 2006 11:51:28 GMT
They are soooooooooo funny, ive karmared you!! Echo that! |
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Post by lolly on Dec 12, 2006 11:21:34 GMT
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas an' Old Santa was peeed,
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list,
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,
I have a good mind to scrap the whole bloody works!
I've worked off my arse for d**n near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bit*hes 'cause I work late at night,
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and s.......d all the maids,
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS,
And just when I thought that things must get better
The bloody Inland Revenue sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't d**n funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?
And the kids these days-they're all the pits,
They want the impossible - the mean little sh1ts,
I spent the whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...their arms, legs and heads
In all the letters I received, not one asked for them,
They want robots and computers...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my arse and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season ;D
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Post by anna on Dec 12, 2006 13:18:29 GMT
Oh Cheeky I have no sound but the 2nd one I watched had me rolling around in tears.
Keep it up - plus another Karma
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Post by lolly on Dec 12, 2006 14:46:45 GMT
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Post by Roddy on Dec 12, 2006 20:06:48 GMT
Anyone got the site for the funky dressage to music with guys on foot? That was a real cracker!
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Post by shameful on Dec 12, 2006 21:23:51 GMT
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Post by lolly on Dec 13, 2006 13:51:03 GMT
That scores brill, I only manage the 100's overbent, the santa so reminds me of my boss.
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Post by chocoholic on Dec 14, 2006 11:47:20 GMT
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas,Santa.
Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Post by ammevo on Dec 14, 2006 12:13:30 GMT
The Christmas Angel One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cursed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
All radiant and smiling; the angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Post by Guestless on Dec 14, 2006 12:45:17 GMT
Great games Lolly - I managed 431....wonder if that's due to my personal experiences of being drunk, lol!
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Post by ammevo on Dec 14, 2006 18:03:58 GMT
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Post by lolly on Dec 18, 2006 8:42:48 GMT
I know many of you aon horsegossip are getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Here's some old family recipes you can use for your Christmas meals... BEST RUM CAKE EVER 1 gallon rum baking powder 1 cup water 1 tsp salt 1c. butter 1 tsp soda 1 cup sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup brown sugar 2 cup dried fruit nuts Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. with an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seasthingy of thugar and beat again.Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality-- Cry another tup. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter which....who cares?). Sample the rum again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblesthingy of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Add one table. Sthingy. Of something...whatever you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven and turn the cake pan to 350 gredees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Check the rum again. Now pour whole mess into the coven and ake. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the rum again, and bo to ged.Who in the world likes fruitcake anyway ?!!!! Christmas Fruitcake Recipe 2 Items Needed: ------------- 4 Oz. Fruit Bits 1 Ponyclub Tie Wood Saw Large Rubber Mallot Safety Goggles WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an adult!) Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your pony club tie The resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread. Then, take some fruit bits and pound them into the block with your rubber mallot. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallot! Good fruit bits should be much harder than the ponyclub tie, so you can't break anything. For best result, you should pre-treat the fruit bits by setting them on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30 minutes). Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake! |
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Post by princess on Dec 18, 2006 9:21:42 GMT
Lmao thats so funny, need tena ladies again!!!
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Post by lolly on Dec 19, 2006 12:28:54 GMT
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost
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Post by cheapo on Dec 20, 2006 0:32:33 GMT
couldnt find christmas fairy for the top of the tree this year so put an old tea stained dolly on top till we get a new one, yep we are lookin after the penny's this year ;D
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jules and overbent i want to know how you do.... 
