Why are horsey people so bit*hy?

[sallyw]

This is a forum for people to exhange views and yet there are always the minority who send emails and pm's to people who have made perfectly fair comments and give them a hard time. I am getting afraid to say anything because of the 'behind the scenes' flack. People who regularly use the forum will give up doing it if they get too much hassle. I for one have pretty much had enough.

[quinny]

I am fairly new to this site and i have noticed alot of back biting and nasty comments made to people who have left genuine comments or there oinions which seem fair in alot of cases...
It hasnt put me off coming on and having a nosey but then i havent been at the but end of any sort of argument as such... I do think anyone making false alligations or bullying in anyway shape or form should maybe banned from the site for ex amount of weeks??

[Milliesmum]

Trouble is, when a disagreement is aired on here, we often don't know whose version of events is true? It's hard sometimes to make a call one way or the other when you weren't at the show in question, or have no knowledge of the situation being discussed.

If anyone is unhappy with comments made on here, or PM's sent, they are welcome to bring it to the attention of a moderator and we will have a look at it.

[pennypoo]

grumpy i know where you are coming from.... ive never had any nasty pm's but if you rem not so long ago i was mistaken for a BANNED MEMBER ...i got some really nasty s**t!!!! proved i was innocent like and i did recieve some sorrys!! but people are all too fast to jump on the band-wagon!!!!
i too sometimes think twice about commenting as i'm affraid of being shot down in flames .... its supposed to be fun on here...... on the plus side ive learnt some good things from nice members xxxxx

[sallyw]

I agree there are some great people - Heathers for example was very supportive during the summer when LOvepink ahd a major tragedy and I had a difficult time too. However, there are the minority who will always spoil things.

[quinny]

Lets thank ourselves lucky we dont know these people in person

[pennypoo]

grumpy i couldnt agree more and with you too noddy thank god their not in our lives unless we come on here!! xxx

[nomdeac]

If it helps Grumpy I find your comments sane and sensible so keep it up. Hope your daughter is making good progress

[klbeebs]

Sometimes - a genuine poster asks for advise and some of the more "seasoned" HG members could maybe use a bit more tact and diplomacy when replying. I certainly have stopped asking for advice when I have read some of the acid tongue negative replies that are often left for people. I think some of the peopl who do this maybe could do with attending a self-awareness course!

[welshbyname]

I think us horsey people are bit*hy enough in real life, but HG gives that extra bit of anonimity (sp?) to 'allow' us to be even more bit*hy.

I've always said that all horsey people are bit*hy because we all have an opinion, and our opinions are alway the right ones. Our horse is the best horse in the world and we are the only ones who look after our horses in the right way... everyone else does something wrong, just because its not the way we do it.

Because of the bit*hyness in the horseworld, I no longer ride, because I was apparently not good enough for my horse/ my horse would look better with a good rider on him. After so many times of hearing certain people say the above, you start to beleive it, I sold my horse because of the bit*hyness... and the laugh? The bit*hyness was coming from a 50yr old grown man!

Opinions and advice is just that... bit*hyness is pure poison

[pennypoo]

i also had a few nasty unneeded comments from a few members when i asked a simple question on why does robert walker not cross his reins (can you rem it) one member told me to go get a life robert walker is a pro and his results speak volumes so go get a life!!!!!! all i said on my thread was 'i wonder why robert walker never crosses his reins when riding when i'd always been taught to do this' this is one of the comments i got, i will say though some lovely other members told them to go **** and not to be so nasty - this was in the day of the karmas .... i think HE lost a few but not from me he he
some people can be HORRIBLE!!!!!! but i agree grumpy you always been great towards my posts xxxxx

[sallyw]

The main problem arose when I posted that the little bay pony on the lead rein/first ridden post had his saddle too far forward. I stand by that and I also commented that he has a lovely head. The owner asked for advice and I gave them my opinion and I have to say that most people would agree with me. I dont know why it sparked such fury!!

[pennypoo]

uhhh dear grumpy what made them so angry??? people should not ask for opinion if they dont want honest opinion!!!!!! i steerl well clear of them sort of threads for fear of what youve gone through.... its not nice is it xxxx

[sugarplum]

I agree... I have stopped asking questions, just incase I get patronising answers... I asked recently about my friend buying a colt, was told more or less that I was stupid...(If I don't ask I don't know!) I also posted on here about buying 25 litres of pig oil... my goodness you would have thought I was asking about where I could buy a bomb making kit.

I do wonder how many people would actually talk to each other like they do one here face to face.

Sometimes I feel like the kid at school who daren't put their hand up!

[dimwit]

Why should you not ask questions thats how you learn i have learnt so much off you HG, Grumpy you have always tried to help people ignore the nasty comments cause thats all they are, Their opinions. My dear old mum used to say if you dont have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all. Have a good day Grumpy

[bowditchblobs]

I was vey rude on the "colt" thread i do appologise [not been on here for ages dongle broke] i did not mean to be rude, im not normaly, people keeping colts/stallions just to show drives me nuts, the sales are full of welsh entires, it's the kindest cut i always think. I probably would have ranted on face to face as well!!! I apologise any way!

[ladybird]

ah, thats really nice furball. Dont remember seeing the thread, ( i would have agreed with the gelding side of things definatley!!)

[sugarplum]

It is O.K & thank you furball... did I see that you bought a Fell Stallion? Are you using him to cover mares? I am obsessive about my fells... who do you have?

[eskvalleystud]

I have a little moan and its about those that ask for advise, if they are given it they then shoot you down and tell you to stop putting your nose into it or v similar or go backwards on what they have said, why ask for advise? sometimes wonder if its to cause trouble!!!

I do think that what is sometimes written would't be said to someones face, I always post with this at the back of my mind, only post what you would have the courage to say to someone, alot of us are total strangers and sometimes things that have been posted I bet they'd not dare say face to face!

[lucynlizzysmum]

[quote author=eskvalleystud board=moanersarea thread=60943 post=516981 time=1285531557
I do think that what is sometimes written would't be said to someones face, I always post with this at the back of my mind, only post what you would have the courage to say to someone, alot of us are total strangers and sometimes things that have been posted I bet they'd not dare say face to face!

[/quote]

I think you are probably right here Eskvalleystud, but on the other hand at least I am able to think before I "speak" on here! My mouth tends to run away with me on occasion, whereas at least here I can think about it before I hit send!!

I do agree tho' there can be some very bit*hy comments made - however, I think very often they are not meant in that way (at least I hope they aren't) and are just a case of someone hitting the send button before they have really thought about what they ahve put!!

[melyniog]

Welsh by name said

and the laugh? The bit*hyness was coming from a 50yr old grown man!

I wonder if this is the same man who has been saying some very unpleasant things about me.

[bonnieheather]

I do think sometimes it's hard to express emotion properly in text - it can me enterpreted so many different ways.

But, I do think people are very quick to 'jump on' people on here, I would imagine the same on other forums?? I tend to read more than I write, afterall, we have 2 eyes and only 1 mouth as a wise old owl once told me!

It easier to say what you think on here as you don't have to face people's response. It would be wise to think how it would sound if you were on the receiving end of your comments...

You can often see posts of pictures where people have asked for opinions, with a lot of views, but not so many comments, so perhaps people are holding their tongues, not wanting to offend?

Generally, it's a lovely bunch on here, full of great advice and knowledge. We're all in it for the love of horses and a common interest afterall...

[gladys]

Sept 26, 2010 20:51:42 GMT melyniog said:

Welsh by name said

and the laugh? The bit*hyness was coming from a 50yr old grown man!

I too know of a 50 something man who is not what he is making out to be , he is what is known as two faced, and as a few people said this weekend a backside cleaner or words to that effect and that was from people who he thinks he is good friends with him , i always thought it and after what i heard this weekend know it, maybe its the same one lol.
On another note, you are all right , people ask for opinions but they dont want you to be honest, people just dont like the truth.

[mandmgirl0164]

It's not always the content of what is said, but the manner/tone in which it is delivered.

A short/quick/sharp reply can come across as blunt/tactless/condescending/patronising.

[bowditchblobs]

I practise what i preach Teddybear!!!!!!!!!!!! The old owner will have a nervous breakdown though when she finds out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He doest realise they are gone though, next door put their mare out next to him with out telling me, he scaled the fence, think he thought it was christmas, so not funny, i put him in and he jumped out over the bloody door. Men............

[sugarplum]

Gosh... sounds like he earnt his snip lol. Men indeed!!!!!!!

[doofus]

Lol
Someone who I considered a 'friend' has stirred up trouble for me, she comes on here occasionally, and she doesnt know that I now know what a total and utter b*^&h she is!

[bowditchblobs]

I might be brave and tell the old owner one day!!!!! May be she wont notice if she sees him!!!!!!!!!!!

[nanageegee]

I hate it when people take their nastiness out on children and they end up getting hurt!! So called adults upsetting children by their bit*hiness really upsets me.

I can take the hassle when I judge that is fne. I know what to expect but when a group of adults are so petty minded to upset a child who has done nothing wrong then my blood boils and everyone MUST duck because I do not settle until justice is done!!!

Be warned you know who you are!!!!

[amanda]

its all part and parcel of the horse world im afraid some have an opinion and some dont tolerate opinions !.