Post by dun4u on Oct 24, 2007 18:43:53 GMT
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is No need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week
preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be
totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these
simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.
Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time
wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of
the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat
with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it
again.
YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!
AND, just a thought for all the women out there... MENtal illness,
MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause...
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?...
And,
when we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget
to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra... Hard to Find,
Supportive,
Comfortable,
Always Lifts You Up,
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging, And
Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Share this with a friend, I did!
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week
preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be
totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these
simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.
Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time
wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of
the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat
with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it
again.
YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!
AND, just a thought for all the women out there... MENtal illness,
MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause...
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?...
And,
when we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget
to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra... Hard to Find,
Supportive,
Comfortable,
Always Lifts You Up,
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging, And
Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Share this with a friend, I did!