Post by mcw on Feb 19, 2011 12:11:15 GMT
my favorite faceboomj quotes of all time
1) A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
2) As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"
3) A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks the lawyer what his rates are.
"I charge $100 per 3 questions."
"That's rather expensive for only 3 questions, isn't it?" asks the guy.
"Yes it is. And your final question?"
4) BRUNO MARS threw a GRENADE at USHER so USHER got mad and said “OMG!” And TAIO CRUZ threw a stick of DYNAMITE into Earth. So the world blew up and RIHANNA was the ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD. Then KATY PERRY threw a FIREWORK onto Earth from Mars and it hit RIHANNA in the head. So she became dumb and didn’t know her name. She started singing oh na na WHAT’S MY NAME over and over again. Then Tinie Tempah did WRITTEN IN THE STARS. Then NELLY woke up and said that it was JUST A DREAM ♥
5) £4.99 .. FACE IT IT'S A FIVER !!
6) Admit it. ..................................... At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.
7) I know 10 facts about you
1. You are reading this.
2. You can't say M without touching your lips
3. You just tried it
4. You just smiled or laughed.
6. You are a boy/girl.
7. You didnt realize I skipped 5.
8. You are looking back at 4 and 6.
9. You are liking this.
10. You are reading me telling you to like this.
LIKE THIS IF YOU DID THOSE THINGS
8) Someone Hacked into a Blondes computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital.
9) 3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
10) Girl at 5:00AM
Take shower
Get Dressed
Do hair
Put on makeup
And now it's 7:30 and time for school.
Guy at 7:00AM
HOLY CRAP!
Throws on clothes
combs half of hair
runs outside without backpack.
11) Yes...
I'm a girl
I push doors that clearly say PULL
I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.
I walk into a room and [forget] why I was there
I count on my fingers in math class
I try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave
[Lie][Sometimes] to hide the pain
I say its a long story when it's really not
I fall in love too hard too fast
1) A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
2) As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"
3) A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks the lawyer what his rates are.
"I charge $100 per 3 questions."
"That's rather expensive for only 3 questions, isn't it?" asks the guy.
"Yes it is. And your final question?"
4) BRUNO MARS threw a GRENADE at USHER so USHER got mad and said “OMG!” And TAIO CRUZ threw a stick of DYNAMITE into Earth. So the world blew up and RIHANNA was the ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD. Then KATY PERRY threw a FIREWORK onto Earth from Mars and it hit RIHANNA in the head. So she became dumb and didn’t know her name. She started singing oh na na WHAT’S MY NAME over and over again. Then Tinie Tempah did WRITTEN IN THE STARS. Then NELLY woke up and said that it was JUST A DREAM ♥
5) £4.99 .. FACE IT IT'S A FIVER !!
6) Admit it. ..................................... At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.
7) I know 10 facts about you
1. You are reading this.
2. You can't say M without touching your lips
3. You just tried it
4. You just smiled or laughed.
6. You are a boy/girl.
7. You didnt realize I skipped 5.
8. You are looking back at 4 and 6.
9. You are liking this.
10. You are reading me telling you to like this.
LIKE THIS IF YOU DID THOSE THINGS
8) Someone Hacked into a Blondes computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital.
9) 3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
10) Girl at 5:00AM
Take shower
Get Dressed
Do hair
Put on makeup
And now it's 7:30 and time for school.
Guy at 7:00AM
HOLY CRAP!
Throws on clothes
combs half of hair
runs outside without backpack.
11) Yes...
I'm a girl
I push doors that clearly say PULL
I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.
I walk into a room and [forget] why I was there
I count on my fingers in math class
I try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave
[Lie][Sometimes] to hide the pain
I say its a long story when it's really not
I fall in love too hard too fast