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Post by bow1607 on Aug 8, 2011 21:03:57 GMT
ahh bless you, don't really know what to say...... I hope he sees sense soon though xxx
Take care
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Post by sectiondcrazy on Aug 8, 2011 21:12:59 GMT
just shows that men never really grow up!!!! hope you're ok xxxx
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Post by Julie(luke3) on Aug 8, 2011 21:13:57 GMT
Big hugs pipandwill  |
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Post by erminstrudel on Aug 8, 2011 21:36:45 GMT
Know that feeling well hun! Don't even know what part of the world my 'father' is in now...& I can't say I'm too bothered.
xx
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kayjayem
Happy to help....a lot
Posts: 10,046
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Post by kayjayem on Aug 8, 2011 21:53:38 GMT
That's not a father it's a sperm donor. Move on, make a life for yourself and forget the b@stard, his loss not yours  |
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Post by pipandwill on Aug 8, 2011 22:18:47 GMT
Thanks guys, as far as im concerned he dosnt exist anymore.
Sick to death of him thinking some of the things (wont repeat) a vile, vile man.
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silvershadow
Full Member
<3 Silver Shadow <3 Horninglow Ennerdale Water <3 Kincardine Garry <3
Posts: 486
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Post by silvershadow on Aug 8, 2011 22:32:33 GMT
My father never paid any maintenance for me or my brother, sees us onve a month for half an hour? Tbh we arent bothered anymore, Im too busy with the horses and my brother is more than happy down the pub with his mates lol! Let him be, you dont need people like that in your life  |
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kates
Full Member
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Post by kates on Aug 9, 2011 7:16:32 GMT
my father up sticks and moved to the states as his new wife said she wanted to be with her kids (they now live two states away from all three of them) i see him once in a blue moon and don't talk to him much..He said good bye to me and my brother at mum nans funeral and then went and spent his last week in this country with his in laws....who were fklying over to see them 2 weeks later..
don't worry about him hun your bigger than him...and u don't need him!
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Post by Karen, garrettponies on Aug 9, 2011 8:35:53 GMT
Awwwwww sweetie, bless you, it's hard. He will get his come uppance one day. My sister's ex left for someone else years ago, left her to bring up two boys while he had his new family. He never paid maintenance, made their lives miserable for a while but they all moved on, enjoyed their lives and the boys grew up to be lovely well adjusted adults. The ex's new wife left him and he has ended up a sad, lonely man with no friends or family to turn to.
You and your mum enjoy what you have together, he's not worth the distress XXXXXX
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Post by brt on Aug 9, 2011 8:52:35 GMT
His loss, he will die a sad and lonely man with no family around him xx
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Post by network on Aug 9, 2011 10:40:23 GMT
My father did exactly the same to me when I was 13, it was his loss, 17 years later when he tried to make contact so that he could come to my wedding I told him where to go. Not seen him in 30 years and really couldn't care a less what happens to him, he made my mums life a misery along with my sister and me!!! My step dad has been more of a dad to me than my real dad  |
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Post by ponymum on Aug 9, 2011 10:58:45 GMT
Thats really sad p+w ,  , my dad was wonderful , dont get me wrong he shouted at me and taught me rigfht from wrong, but was immense fun to be around and I miss him every day , he died 4 and a half yrs ago . He made a lasting impression on my daughter too , she talks about him still all the time ... Like others have said , move on , make hime see how great you are without him , then he will realise the error of his ways ....Much love , hugs and kisses xxxx |
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Post by sageandonion on Aug 9, 2011 11:47:34 GMT
I am so sorry, no little girl should experience that. I would love to be the charitable sort that says, he is your father and things will work out. However, I can't find that in myself. I hope your mother takes him right to the cleaners and makes him pay where it hurts. Unfortunately the only place that is, is his pocket.
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Post by laurajazmine on Aug 9, 2011 12:37:37 GMT
Hugs. I too know how you feel my Dad hasn't been a part of my life since I was 10 and pays for nothing. He has added me on facebook and still barely talks to me. If it wasnt for having two half sisters who I love i would have cut him out of my lfe completley by now.
As others say, your better off without xx
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Post by pipandwill on Aug 9, 2011 18:10:37 GMT
All he ever cared about was his new little son. And it was out with the old, in with the new. Not a nice feeling. I dont want to work things out, he is know blaming mum, who pays for everythink for me, and whom i have much respect for, that it is her fault that i dont ever talk to him, and reject his phone calls. Not her fault at all, does he not get that it was his decision to dump me, his decision to not pay for me. More stupid then i thought obviously :/
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Post by sageandonion on Aug 10, 2011 10:59:52 GMT
Have you thought about writing him a letter and telling him how you feel? You will have to do several drafts, because it mustn't be angry and shouting at him if you know what I mean. It must be honest and from your heart.
It may be that it will make him think and change his ways or it will shame him and you will have got all that off your chest.
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Post by bow1607 on Aug 10, 2011 11:27:40 GMT
Have you thought about writing him a letter and telling him how you feel? You will have to do several drafts, because it mustn't be angry and shouting at him if you know what I mean. It must be honest and from your heart. It may be that it will make him think and change his ways or it will shame him and you will have got all that off your chest. Have to agree with this, it will make you feel a whole lot better, make him realise it isn't your mums fault...... it's actually HIS! But as Sagey says, keep it calm..... be the grown up in this, and make him realise what he is missing! Gook luck x |
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Post by pipandwill on Aug 10, 2011 18:00:40 GMT
Would write him a letter, but he has made his feeling very clear, i will never be the daughter he wants, i dont want to play football or go to the park to do nothink. Not like his son.
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Post by bonnieheather on Aug 10, 2011 21:29:56 GMT
His loss - been there, got the tee shirt.
Big Hugs to you and your Mum xxx
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quince
Junior Member
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Post by quince on Aug 11, 2011 15:07:37 GMT
Wanted to say something but to be honest words fail me, stick with the ponies, an animals love and respect is unconditional, what a stupid stupid man your father is.
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Post by pipandwill on Aug 11, 2011 18:24:21 GMT
Thank you all, definatly needed these messages, thanks again xxx
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Post by Lauren M on Aug 11, 2011 19:32:49 GMT
Genuinely understand what your going through. Coming from a stranger its not worth much, but, he clearly doesnt realise that he has a successful daughter or he does and he is just jealous. People think that because your family and he is your father that you should respect him. I say: Respect is to be earned whether you are my father or not. It sounds like he needs to pull his head out his arse because he is talking sh1t! I have all this from my mother, its not fun, but i can count on the fact that i will be a stronger person on the other side.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2011 22:16:22 GMT
Sweetheart I wish I could give you a big hug right now  You have proved in writing this thread, what a good person you are. If we can all see that, and most of us have never met you, then it is his loss that he cannot. You are clearly a better person than he is and he does not deserve your company or love after the way he has acted. He may come around in the future and that is when you must decide whether you want to see HIM! Keep strong darling - well done for speaking out - you are a very brave person x :-*x :-*x :-*x |
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Post by mcw on Aug 12, 2011 14:31:40 GMT
i think men like him should be more careful, he has obviousley forgotten who will be choosing his old peoples home  |
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Post by pipandwill on Aug 12, 2011 21:59:20 GMT
Thank you all! xxxx means alot really xxxxxx Just pushing the thought of him out of my mind! x |
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Post by Julie(luke3) on Aug 12, 2011 22:01:57 GMT
You take care pipandwill xxxxx |
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Post by colouredpony14 on Sept 16, 2011 10:21:20 GMT
Sick to death, of my so called father, who obviosly dosnt give 2 hoots about me, rang my mum up today, to tell her in these words, "i dont want to be part of olivia's life anymore, therefore, i dont have to pay for her" know im sorry but he has made my life hell for the past 7yrs (while mum and him were divorced) he shows no intrest in anythink i do, so whatever to him. Hope he enjoys his new wife and kid, because my life dont revolve round him. Fathers eh! I've had a pretty bad year with my Dad too, and it sounds very much similar. Although he does support me , and pay for the Ponies etc. Well their livery (we own the yard so i get it free)., feed, hay etc. |
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Post by hannahlh on Sept 16, 2011 18:45:48 GMT
When i was 14, and my brother 12 my dad asked my brother to go and live with him. After much deliberation he did.
A few months later my maintanance stopped because quote 'he had his family now and needed his money to support them' ( i have three brothers that all live with him, a full one and two half ones and bear in mind this is a man who earns £50,000 + a year)
After this i never went to see him because i had my horses and felt that he didnt want to see me anyway and i preferred my ponies to his company, but i missed my brothers dearly.
Now I am 20, and i see him probably once a year, to spend time with my brothers and to some extent him. I still love him, he's my dad, but i am not myself when i visit and coversation is very very limited. He HATES the horses and therefore wont speak about them. I would compare it to visiting an old uncle that you barely know.
I hope our relationship will one day become a better one. He is taking my brothers on holiday next year...he has even invited my boyfriend...i am still awaiting my invite.
I really do feel for you, he is and always will be your dad and its a very hard thing to hear from somebody who is supposed to love you with everything he has.
Maybe one day you will build a relationship and at least become friends, but until then surround yourself with people who love you and keep smiling xxx
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Post by mirosa on Sept 16, 2011 22:27:04 GMT
I feel for you, pipandwill - & everyone else who's been let down by their parents. A horrible & cruel thing to happen.
Don't let it sour your life. Make the most of yourself, do your best & don't blame yourself for his inadequate parenting skills.
We cannot choose our parents, but we are free to choose our friends & loved ones.
Love & hugs to you (& your mum) & look forwards, not back.
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snowflake
Happy to help....a lot
Posts: 13,399
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Post by snowflake on Sept 18, 2011 11:54:35 GMT
Hugs Livvy, I know what you're going through... My Dad is awful to my Mum about giving us money, don't get me started about the horses - I told him when I won a huge class at POYS years ago, how pleased I was - "Why waste all that money - you could just canter around the field & get given a bit of ribbon." That hurt me so bad, but I try to forget it, now I'm older. Massive hugs, forget about him & show him how much it DOESN'T affect you, then he'll be sorry. Make your life better than his & show him you & your Mum do not need him! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |
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, my dad was wonderful , dont get me wrong he shouted at me and taught me rigfht from wrong, but was immense fun to be around and I miss him every day , he died 4 and a half yrs ago . He made a lasting impression on my daughter too , she talks about him still all the time ...
